[Secretum]

Hello everyone. I've been quiet for awhile, but I'm slowly coming back.

I have recently embarked on a massive self-improvement journey. I am going to study for 2 hours everyday, read for pleasure daily, exercise, keep up with the news...basically become the smart, capable, "on top of things" person that I was when I was 17.

My problem is that I am tempted to give up on it at every turn. I've tried so many times to drag myself out of this pit of mediocrity, always unsuccessfully. But I can't live like this anymore. I hate the person that I currently am. I NEED to become an interesting and interested person again.

My bipolar mood swings also make this a difficult project to complete. Obviously when I'm depressed, I don't have the energy to do anything. When I'm hypo I'm pretty good at keeping up with it all, but I always inevitably fall. Does anyone have any suggestions for how I can accomplish this transformation that requires such dedication? Thanks.

[Confusedinomicon]

Start small and build yourself up to the goals. For instance, don't beat yourself up if you don't have time to read for daily pleasure or if you can't exercise because you have a huge exam coming up the next day. Give yourself small attainable goals and break it up so its doable. If you can't get to something, don't worry about it try again the next day. As course-load increases, you're going to find it harder to fit in extra activities...but it doesn't mean you can't do some of it sometimes.

Reward yourself often for completing said goals. For every 1 hour you study, take a 10 minute break as a reward. Remind yourself that you've actually completed something. Go over what you had to do to achieve that goal, and look at what behaviors helped and what didn't. Then the next time go back and do it but tweak it a little.

Look into a sport like meditative yoga, or tai chi. Something that requires you to slow down and focus.

These are just suggestions that I'm giving you. I don't do all of these myself, either....haha

Confused hit the nail on the head. Really not a lot to add to that.

She gave me similar advice with my mother and with my painting that I couldn't start. I applied it and go through Easter with my mother and guess what... I am working on my painting, and it's going fine. So it is advice that is sound and works.

Try not to overwhelm yourself by trying to just instantly change these behaviors. You didn't stop doing them overnight, and will likely not start doing them all perfectly overnight either. Just break it down and keep at it. If you miss something, oh well.. Carry on and you can pick it back up the next day. All is not lost. Keep you intentions in mind, and mind them. If you loose focus, remember to take some time to look at your intentions again and regroup.

Yoga or similar things is really good for this as Confused mentioned or meditation. It really does help you slow down, quiet, focus, and determination. Something I was completely lost on until I started yoga and meditation. Meditation doesn't cost anything and you can do it in your own home, even 10 minutes at a time.

Everything in life is like practice, there is never complete perfection, just practice. I'm only mentioning that because I think you might be a bit similar to me, have a bit of strive for perfection. I need to go apply that to my painting right now too.

[gigi8032]

First of all, I suggest staying on medication and then baby steps to achieve your goals. Keep your head up and stay positive.