[3little.birds]

My boyfriend is sure he is doing something wrong because I never feel like having sex. So many issues are stemming from it. I honestly would be fine if we never had sex, but it wasn't always like that. . I am pretty sure I have been in a depressive state for the last few months. Its not like we never have sex anymore.. but I honestly don't get into it mostly (I try my best to pretend ). I found out yesterday he knows I just act like I am into it for him. When I'm drunk I can't keep my hands off of him though-- but alcohol can bring on mania I believe, which fits perfectly (right??). A lot of times once we start I actually do get in to it.. but it goes away so fast. Any suggestions? He is very open to different things too-- I can tell him almost anything.

Also-- I have not been diagnosed with bipolar disorder yet, but I am pretty sure I am bipolar.. it just fits too good. I want to learn more about it too so if anyone wants to share any info it is extremely welcome. I really feel like I am going crazy sometimes.

[sweepy62]

yes it messes with libido for me it has

[allme]

It never messed with my libido personally..however, the meds have completely messed me up in that sense and could quite literally live without it.

[bowhunt72]

Can't pin for sure on the depression or the meds, but something sure drops the bottom out of my sex drive when I'm in a depressive episode. Opposite applies for mania too. During the 3-4 month mania I'm trying to recover from now, I spent more time in the sack, sometimes multiple times per day, than I had in the previous few years. Crash back into depression at the end of that one was horrible and I'm still not over it.

[faerie_moon_x]

Yes, depression can have a direct result on your libido. So can hormonal birth control and so can stress. Women have very delicate libidos.

But since you said oposite is true in mania, it may be that depression is part of it at least.

[nacht]

Depression can definitely destroy your libido. I didn't realize my sex drive had been gone for a year until it came back recently.

[cocoabeans]

Of course! Mania can do that too! Like it is just too much! But usually that's the opposite!

Alcohol brings on mania because alcohol stops you from getting a good nights sleep. Being drunk isn't mania but, it is lots of fun!

[3little.birds]

Thanks for all of the answers guys..

DH- I am coming off the pill in a week or two and getting a non-hormonal IUD so I guess I'll see if that's my problem..

Cocoa- I turn into wild party girl literally as I start drinking.. I want to be everyones best friend and be the center of all attention. And usually after I'm wasted I slip into depression after someone we are with triggers me. My boyfriend usually finds me sobbing somewhere alone just hating my life.

Another question for everyone too-- whenever I'm in a manic state it almost never lasts for longer than a few hours.. However, depression will last a lot longer.. Is that normal?

[bowhunt72]

There's not really a whole lot of "normal" in bipolar. I saw someone else here said a while ago that there are as many types of bipolar as there are people diagnosed with it. I denied mine for years because I thought I was "just" depressed and had never had a real manic episode. Now I look back with hindsight and see what was probably many hypomanic episodes. Just came off what I think was my first major mania and wow, that was a ride, and not a good one. Read through some more reference material on BP and took a hard look at lists of symptoms and the DSM-IV diagnostic criteria for mania and depression, and it's all right there. BP I for sure, and sex drive and sexual behaviors are listed symptoms. I should probably apologize to my pdoc for doubting my diagnosis, she had it right a long time ago.

[3little.birds]

Yea I have been reading on it as much as I can stand lately.. I contacted a therapist the other day and am waiting to hear back still, but hopefully I'll get that in soon.. Lately it has just been too much of a roller coaster ride.

Mania diagnostic criteria is that it lasts at least a week. Hypomania I believe can be a bit shorter. However, this can really vary from person to person. There is also rapid cycling, and ultra rapid and ultradian which is even faster, shifting within the day.

So really you should see a psychiatrist if you think you are bipolar. It could be bipolar, it could be something else. There are other mental illnesses that can look like bipolar, there are also many physical health illnesses that mimic bipolar quite well and some are serious. So it's important that you speak with your doctor about this. It isn't something you can self diagnose.

[SmokeyPoole2012]

Yes I believe depression can have something to do with a low sex drive. But I also find that mania can cause an increase in sex drive. I would like to suggest talking with your partner and honestly explain what's happening with you it wouldn't be unusual for men to get the wrong opinion about your actions.

I would also like to suggest talking with your doctor about any problems mental or physical there are many different things that can cause symptoms of depression or mania.

[3little.birds]

I've told him.. but he doesn't get it really. I don't think he believes me that its not just him.. not fully at least. I'm working on finding a therapist..

[moremi]

Oh yes..... I hate that part. So does my husband. Not only am I feeling worthless but I feel ugly and fat and I know Im not fresh all the time. Depressions sucks!! The last one was over 6 months long. It was awful. I think the depression takes away wanting to have sex and medication takes away my ability to orgasm. Awful!

[mommyof2girls]

While in my bouts of deep depression, the last thing on my mind is sex!!! ......