[Rebound]

The preamble:
I rent a room from a young couple. I recently informed them I intended to move out. We had a discussion this evening where they wanted to know my reasons and my reluctance to discuss them.

The point:
I explained that I am so messed up I know I get uptight about things I have no legitimate reason to be uptight about along with things that may be considered legitimate beefs and that I have such trouble sorting out which is which I just keep it all to myself and don't confront them. They both denied it having anything to do with being bipolar but jumping to conclusions and getting uptight over them was just typical male behaviour. I see it differently but I would like to hear the opinions of others. Throughout the entire discussion I think they thought I was full of it but I may just be paranoid about that.

[Rebound]

The preamble:
I rent a room from a young couple. I recently informed them I intended to move out. We had a discussion this evening where they wanted to know my reasons and my reluctance to discuss them.

The point:
I explained that I am so messed up I know I get uptight about things I have no legitimate reason to be uptight about along with things that may be considered legitimate beefs and that I have such trouble sorting out which is which I just keep it all to myself and don't confront them. They both denied it having anything to do with being bipolar but jumping to conclusions and getting uptight over them was just typical male behaviour. I see it differently but I would like to hear the opinions of others. Throughout the entire discussion I think they thought I was full of it but I may just be paranoid about that.

[niko851]

Hey Rebound.... Hope you're doing as well as you can be today...

If you truly feel that they may not believe you, then why don't you get some sort of letter from your doc stating you are under his/her care for XXX condition (if you want the condition disclosed) so you can give this to them and they will see and believe you are legit. I'm assuming that you will need this anyway if you are breaking a lease w/them.

Furthermore, what they believe/feel about what you CHOSE to talk to them about - and confide in them more/less - is soon to be moot once you are gone. You won't have to think twice nor look back at what they did or did not do. You made an effort, you were honest, and if they don't believe it, then I say the heck w/em..

You've got yourself and your health to worry about - and this just adds to it. You don't need that!!! I mean unless they are trained medical professionals in the mental health field, then they have no business challenging anything you have said. It is evident they have little to no knowledge of this disease [by their responses], as you could be in either state and have problems concentrating, thinking logically, etc. in order to discuss with them - or even contemplate this big change you are about to make [by moving].

I wouldn't sweat it my friend - however I again suggest if you want to put your mind at ease, knowing you did all you could in RE: 'proving' to them [agian, you owe them nothing IMO], then get the generalized letter from the doc and give it to them. They have nothing to say then.....

Hope this helps ya and you take it easy... ~Niko

[niko851]

Hey Rebound.... Hope you're doing as well as you can be today...

If you truly feel that they may not believe you, then why don't you get some sort of letter from your doc stating you are under his/her care for XXX condition (if you want the condition disclosed) so you can give this to them and they will see and believe you are legit. I'm assuming that you will need this anyway if you are breaking a lease w/them.

Furthermore, what they believe/feel about what you CHOSE to talk to them about - and confide in them more/less - is soon to be moot once you are gone. You won't have to think twice nor look back at what they did or did not do. You made an effort, you were honest, and if they don't believe it, then I say the heck w/em..

You've got yourself and your health to worry about - and this just adds to it. You don't need that!!! I mean unless they are trained medical professionals in the mental health field, then they have no business challenging anything you have said. It is evident they have little to no knowledge of this disease [by their responses], as you could be in either state and have problems concentrating, thinking logically, etc. in order to discuss with them - or even contemplate this big change you are about to make [by moving].

I wouldn't sweat it my friend - however I again suggest if you want to put your mind at ease, knowing you did all you could in RE: 'proving' to them [agian, you owe them nothing IMO], then get the generalized letter from the doc and give it to them. They have nothing to say then.....

Hope this helps ya and you take it easy... ~Niko

[Rebound]

You make many excellent points, and I appreciate your response. Unfortunately, due to my failure to provide sufficient information in my post, it does not quite answer my question. I apologize for not being more clear. I have no lease. And they stated emphatically that they genuinely wished to work out any issues I might have should I wish to stay rather than move out. I am prone to paranoia so it is hard for me to tell if they are sincere, but if they are, it will be important for them to understand, rather than simply accept what I am telling them. To be honest, I hate moving. So, the idea of making all well is tantalizing. But if there is such a lack of understanding it seems nothing will be resloved and a lot of time wasted. But man oh man it sounds appealing.

For the record, the young man of the house considers himself to be very mature, macho, and "old school" in that for a man to go see a doctor, a body part should be hanging off somewhere and heaven forbid one should ever bring up emotional problems. In his world, real men don't have them. This denial is what causes him to be hyperactive and agressive. Perhaps not in the clinical sense, but at least in lay terms. I have been raised in the same fashion, but after dealing with things totally on my own for perhaps 20 years, I finally realized I would suffer less by admitting I was ill and seeking treatment. Now, if it took me 20 years to understand myself due to my upbringing, how hard is it to achieve understanding with a couple of 20 somethings who think they have everything figured out?

It's hard to look at someone you think is just muttering to himself, "Man, what a wimp," and carry on a decent conversation. I must be fair to him and admit he likely thinks nothing of the kind. But part of me is certain he does. Therein are thrust the horns of a dilemma.

So, to begin with, I'm trying to decide whether to try. I am the most indecisive person (next maybe to you, dear reader) that one could meet. This seems an especially difficult problem for me to work out. Your thoughts are all welcome.

I should add that your second and third paragraphs, Niko, were right on the money and exactly the attitude I had until last night. But they were persuasive and seemed most sincere so now I am not feeling so headstrong. I was totally convinced the best thing to do was just keep my head down and make myself invisible for the next 2 months (I gave notice for the end of May.) However, they seemed as genuine in their concern as lacking in their understanding of what I was saying. So now, I am caught between a rock and a hard place if you get my meaning. Do I or don't I? Confrontation of any kind gives me sever anxiety but I also know that when resolved successfully, clearing the air can be cathartic. I just don't know what to do or if I can do it.

Thanks again.

[Rebound]

You make many excellent points, and I appreciate your response. Unfortunately, due to my failure to provide sufficient information in my post, it does not quite answer my question. I apologize for not being more clear. I have no lease. And they stated emphatically that they genuinely wished to work out any issues I might have should I wish to stay rather than move out. I am prone to paranoia so it is hard for me to tell if they are sincere, but if they are, it will be important for them to understand, rather than simply accept what I am telling them. To be honest, I hate moving. So, the idea of making all well is tantalizing. But if there is such a lack of understanding it seems nothing will be resloved and a lot of time wasted. But man oh man it sounds appealing.

For the record, the young man of the house considers himself to be very mature, macho, and "old school" in that for a man to go see a doctor, a body part should be hanging off somewhere and heaven forbid one should ever bring up emotional problems. In his world, real men don't have them. This denial is what causes him to be hyperactive and agressive. Perhaps not in the clinical sense, but at least in lay terms. I have been raised in the same fashion, but after dealing with things totally on my own for perhaps 20 years, I finally realized I would suffer less by admitting I was ill and seeking treatment. Now, if it took me 20 years to understand myself due to my upbringing, how hard is it to achieve understanding with a couple of 20 somethings who think they have everything figured out?

It's hard to look at someone you think is just muttering to himself, "Man, what a wimp," and carry on a decent conversation. I must be fair to him and admit he likely thinks nothing of the kind. But part of me is certain he does. Therein are thrust the horns of a dilemma.

So, to begin with, I'm trying to decide whether to try. I am the most indecisive person (next maybe to you, dear reader) that one could meet. This seems an especially difficult problem for me to work out. Your thoughts are all welcome.

I should add that your second and third paragraphs, Niko, were right on the money and exactly the attitude I had until last night. But they were persuasive and seemed most sincere so now I am not feeling so headstrong. I was totally convinced the best thing to do was just keep my head down and make myself invisible for the next 2 months (I gave notice for the end of May.) However, they seemed as genuine in their concern as lacking in their understanding of what I was saying. So now, I am caught between a rock and a hard place if you get my meaning. Do I or don't I? Confrontation of any kind gives me sever anxiety but I also know that when resolved successfully, clearing the air can be cathartic. I just don't know what to do or if I can do it.

Thanks again.

first, you know that these two young "macho" men don't have a clue. you do. you are far more mature than they. do what is best for you. try stepping back and making a list of the pros and cons. keep us posted, xoxoxo pat

first, you know that these two young "macho" men don't have a clue. you do. you are far more mature than they. do what is best for you. try stepping back and making a list of the pros and cons. keep us posted, xoxoxo pat

[Rebound]

Interestingly enough, I've hit an upswing over the last couple of days (away from the mixed state I've been in) and everything suddenly seems peachy keen. All at once there's no stress, not a care. Went shopping today and almost enjoyed it. And I don't feel in such a hurry to move all of a sudden. I wish I knew how long this was going to last. I guess I will just have to make hay while the sun shines.

Of course, as a result, all of the above looks like obsessive paranoid hand-wringing to me now. I guess we'll see.

i'm glad that you're having better times now. xoxox pat

[Rebound]

Thanks. Me too. So I hate to sound like I am complaining when I say this, but now comes the time when I need be careful not to get too swept up in euphoria and do something to get myself in trouble (again.) Thanks for your concern.