How does Bipolar feel?

So I have recently been diagnosed with a bipolar disorder. I have done a lot of reading on Bipolar but every article states the two sides depression and manic. I hardly see the manic side but deal with the depression more. Does anyone else deal with that in their Bipolar disorder? What is Bipolar like to you and how does it feel?

On and I'll send you a link.

Hey there Jaypop30,

We all experience it differently.

Bipolar to me is a huge rollercoaster ride of emotions, thoughts and feelings. I have Bipolar Type 1 which means I am more Manic than Depressed.

My Mania feels like my head is spinning and is constantly spinning. It feels good and even when I am in danger with my Mania ie the bad things I do when Manic I can't feel anything else bar a release of light. Rollercoasters and dodgems come into it. Mania is fun but at the same time can be dangerous for me in respect of spending too much money, un-protective sex etc etc

My Depression which is far and few between can get real bad. I hate the Depression and do not like it at all. Depression is not my friend. I feel so low and down in the dumps. I see no light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes I need people to kick me up the bottom as I can become obsessed with not eating, drinking, washing, going out etc etc!

Sometimes it can be scary especially when I become "invisble" I always think I am a superhero when I am Manic. "Suicidal" when I see no end to the Depression. Also paranoia, delusional and when I see/hear things. But I am learning slowly to go with the flow. I have only been diagnosised since late 2010 so its still all new to me too.

Good Luck on your journey

It's really hard to recognize it sometimes, especially if the diagnosis is bipolar II. If you think about it, this is something that you have probably had to live with for most your life. You have learned to compensate, and you might not even remember life without it, so there might not be any reference. Now, Bipolar I can have debilitating manic episodes, but bipolar II can have times where they are much more productive. It's different for everyone, but maybe you can see where there are times when you felt like nothing could stop you? Where you started, or wanted to, a lot of different plans and had a lot of ideas and you really had to hang on to get them all done. Hyper focused on projects, even to the extent where they became more important than work and other responsibilities. Almost obsessive over them. Making lists is another one. Making them about everything. Almost like a moment of clarity, where you could see everything so clear. Much more clearly than you had before, and start listing out everything! Maybe the plans are pretty far out there, definitely plans you could never stick with long term. Hypo mania can feel really good.

Do you ever find that when you feel really good, like the best you have felt in a long time, is when you get into the most trouble? Like you know you have to monitor it, maybe even become wary of it? Does it ever turn into anger? Like everyone is holding you back? Like your emotional needs are not being met?

Those are some ways of how hypo mania feels. I hope you can figure it out! Just remember, you don't have to go into a psychosis state, or have a hollywood style manic episode to have mania. It's different for everyone!

Hi jaypop30, you say that you don't see the manic side of bp as much as the depression which is common to most of us (at those bp's I know). I have always had a hard time recognizing when I'm manic mainly because the mania makes me feel like I'm on top of the world, life is good and I think I'm the best at everything. Mania is a drastic difference from the obvious gray feeling of depression we hate to feel down and sad so it's easier to distinguish but when we're full of energy (and ourselves) we welcome the feeling.

We all have different levels of depression or mania I'm more inclined to being depressed and from what you stated I thinking this is the case for you. If you had ever felt like you've had too many cups of coffee or felt like you don't need much sleep these are a couple of the recognizable feelings of mania you can begin to get familiar with. Most of the time when I'm manic it's the observation and comments of others that helps me realize I'm heading toward a manic episode. However after many years of coping with bp (and accepting that I am bp) I've learned how to be more aware of the symptoms.

Nice to meet you see you around.

Jaypop30~ Good questions and Ive read a lot of insightful answers...Like u I have been recently diagnosed and Im learning, too. Im definately Bipolar I...

Glad to hear that you are in the same boat as me(no offense). I am pretty lst right now and some what in denial on the fact, but trying to except that I am Bipolar.

It feel like shi t. Feels like a never ending roller coaster ride that the ride operator won't let you get off of even though you are barfing on all the passengers. Sometimes you want to jump off the coaster while its in motion, and sometimes its fun. But all in all it's a living nightmare you cannot wake from.

Hello! I have been bipolar most my life, I am almost 40. It manifests its self in a variety of ways at different times in life and can change as you age. I am usually more depressed than anything, and when I'm manic it's usually dysphoric and rarely ever euphoric unfortunately. I have found for my self as I started to accept it and grow with it I have looked back at my life with different eyes. I see my behavior in a whole new way, I was in denial for at least ten yrs. It's still sometimes hard to accept, I think if the world were more open minded and caring maybe I would feel different.
It's good your here now dealing with it. My mother who is 63 is just now looking at herself and realizing she may have it. Good luck to you, send any questions my way if you like.

Exactly! It's a giant piece of ***** lol Although, we have insight into many things that others will not, and feelings and experiences that others will never have or maybe never understand.
I have to keep reading over what I have written because Im in that slowed down confused mode lol. Frustrating

I feel depressed most of the time and medication keeps me from having manic episodes. The only times I've become manic were when I stopped taking medication so my advice is to never stop taking meds abruptly without talking to your doctor or you might end up having problems like hallucinations, delusions, etc.

According to the DSM-IV, you only have to have experienced ONE actual Manic episode to be diagnosed with Bipolar 1.

To answer your question, for me, I am mostly depressed as well however, I have experienced at least 2 manic episodes. I've had probably 7 hypomanic times as well. I've experienced psychosis. Most of all, though, its been depression.

As a teenager, I was most always depressed. I don't remember if I had any hypomania but I know for sure I never had mania. When I turned 25, I had my first manic episode which resulted in a change of diagnosis from Major Depressive Disorder to Bipolar 1 with Psychotic Features.

I am currently on a mood stabilizer and an anti-depressant. I know for fact that without the mood stabilizer, the anti-depressant will cause me to become Manic.

DH has depression more then mania. I'm having trouble realizing stable is what I thought was start of a depression phase. For me Bipolar feels like utter confusion and damage control. DH's description is that he feels trapped in the mind of a cliche 14 yr old girl.

Who is DH?

DH- D*** husband or dear husband
depending on the day :P .

I also have more depression than hypomania. Unfortunately. *sigh* For me, depression is self hatred, the absence of hope, hypersomnia, and the horrible sensation in my chest that feels like my soul is rotting inside of me. Depression makes me believe that the world is against me, that nothing good will come to or of me, and that I would be better off dead. Hypomania is yeehaw time, where everything is colorful and wonderful and beautiful and perfect!!!! But most of all, I'm all of that!!!! It's a nice break from my usual low self-esteem, though I do get a bit grandiose. Sprinkle in a few minor hallucinations and some interesting delusions and you've got my version of bipolar II.

Wow. This thread is really helpful. Thank you! I feel a lot of the ways others here are describing. But I am finding acceptance is truly a double edged sword. So thank you.

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Glad to hear that this thread has helped you out, it has also helped me out.

Hi Jay....I am new to this whole Bi-Polar thing too, and lean more towards the depression as well (love the hypo side, but it is few and far between lol) My Bi-Polar likes to make me very paranoid in my head-I will get angry about things that happened awhile back, things that havent even happened yet, or things I think are happening. I also get into a deep deep depression where all I want to do is sleep sleep sleep, and have this emotional pain inside me like I just want to cry all of the time....I finally found the right med mix for the most part and it has really helped with alot of that-except my meds make me tired...working on that part now....Good luck to you and if you need anything, feel free to message me. Have a great evening!

It feels like everything- fantastic and exciting sometimes, then without much warning it feels like the deepest pit you will ever fall into. You will never accept it- you will go from begging for help with depression and suicidal thoughts to throwing your meds away because they supress your energy and genius. You will sometimes sleep for 16 hours a day, sometimes 7, sometimes not at all. You will have trouble planning anything because you have no idea who you will wake up to find that day. My advice is this- go on meds now and do not ever stop them. I stopped mine again about 4 weeks ago and thought I could sustain the beautiful mania but I can't, and now I am trying to figure out the quickest way out of the sheer hell that is my life. Don't make my mistake. Swallow the pills without thinking about it, then go about your life. Best of luck to you.