Do you like being around people?

Once upon a time I wanted an occupation that afforded me ample interaction with people, I even worked for the food industry for 6 years as an assistant manager where I thought I did very well. Unfortunately the bipolar got in the way. While I thought I was being very creative, full of energy and devoting a great deal of my time to my work others began to find me "tedious" over-baring and opinionated.

Now that I've grown older and now recognize what others have always seen in me I've developed social anxieties where as even if I feel like socializing I don't because there's a chance I could experience panic attacks.

Fortunately I managed to find places where I can go to socialize with others like myself, similar to this forum. In my town there are a number of community centers and churches that open their doors to people with disabilities. And what I like most about these places is what I can learn about myself while interacting with others like me. It's very comforting to be around people who might notice you being manic or having depressing episodes and all they do is smile knowingly, give you a pat on your back and Change the subject. A place where I can do the same with minimum anxieties. Unlike to the rest of the world or family members who push you away and dread the thought of having to talk to you.

I'm wondering if the reason you hate being around others is because of how different from others you feel about yourself or how different from them you feel. Just some food for thought.

Very much so.

I dont like being around people at all. I cant even like calling or texting people.

People scare me. And if I'm alone, I don't have to explain myself to anyone.