[sugahorse1]

I don't think I'm depressed. I was a few days ago, but Wellbutrin got me back on track. However, I can never stop feeling lonely and empty. I always need to text or email people. Kind of as an affirmation that I mean something to someone.
I have no motivation at work either. I have some work to do, but get by with the bare minimum. I am on a hamster wheel and not seeing much of a purpose...
So, I'm just going along with things. But a bit pointless. When I'm distracted, I don't notice these things. But when I have some time for my brain to just be, these feelings come to me

[Trippin2.0]

Many hugs to you sugarhorse, nice to see you around again, but sorry it's coz you feel bad emptiness is a horrible thing to have to deal with, and so is the constant need for validation. The latter I'm all too familiar with. I'm way too scared to wear people out tho, so posting here is much 'safer' for me. Sorry I got no advice, but I empathize a great deal.

[faerie_moon_x]

Originally Posted by sugahorse

I don't think I'm depressed. I was a few days ago, but Wellbutrin got me back on track. However, I can never stop feeling lonely and empty. I always need to text or email people. Kind of as an affirmation that I mean something to someone.
I have no motivation at work either. I have some work to do, but get by with the bare minimum. I am on a hamster wheel and not seeing much of a purpose...
So, I'm just going along with things. But a bit pointless. When I'm distracted, I don't notice these things. But when I have some time for my brain to just be, these feelings come to me

I feel exactly this way. Even in a crowded room I feel empty and alone. The texting and e-mailing, too. No motivation, and beyond that, I don't really care... I am right with you. But I'm not on Wellbutrin and I know I'm more depressed currently.

[sugahorse1]

Thanks for sharing with me.

[Secretum]

((sugahorse)) Is it possible that the depression just got a little bit better, but still is there? The lack of motivation especially has me concerned. I feel empty sometimes too (usually when depressed); it sucks. I hope that you feel better soon.

[grlnmt66]

Feeling empty and lonely are horrible feelings...My heart goes out to you...

suga! I'm reallly glad to see you again, it's been so long. Sorry you are feeling out of sorts. With the work, could it be that it kind of *is* hamster-wheelish in and of itself lately? Wondering because just recently this kind of thing has been in mind, as I had a kind of revelation about the nature of my work and its "rewards" that made me kick it back a notch, "just going along". Distraction from spending too much time inside one's own mind does have its place -- have you been able to spend time with your horse much lately?
I hope you get to feeling better soon. Maybe there *is* a touch of lingering depression(?) Seems possible if it's just been a few days with the Wellbutrin adjustment... (You had been on it before, had you been recently and it was upped, or had you been off it and started again?)
Much

[Tsunamisurfer]

Suga
Good to see you around.
Seems like the distraction may be helping on the surface, but not really fixing the pain and purposelessness underneath.
I hope it resolves soon.
TS

[sugahorse1]

Stopped the Wellbutrin because I thought I didn't need it.
I know I need to find some purpose. I'm starting to indulge in material things - food, clothes...anything to feel some sense of satisfaction

[irishstormgirl]

I have been feeling that way too. I thought it was just me. I have no drive at work and feel like it does not matter. I am new to this sight but knowing I am not the only one helps.

[sugahorse1]

Welcome Irish. I'm not sure if it's a BP thing. It may be a depression symptom thing; but it's not comfortable. And one needs to get out before it just gets darker.

I like the terminology mentioned earlier - seeking validation. That's it

[Trippin2.0]

How are you feeling today? Same, better or worse? Have you seen that majestic horse of yours yet?

[sugahorse1]

Went to spend some time with my horse yesterday. Today I am just so emotional and feel I'm going to burst into tears as soon as someone says something to me - especially something nice. :-(

[Trippin2.0]

Awww hun hang in there. I know the fragility sucks, but it does pass

[sugahorse1]

..Thanks. Don't know what to say. Helps to know there are others. I feel like I am so weak and ought to get through this. Why do I have to be so soft???? I don't want to be a pain to anyone.

[Trippin2.0]

You're not soft, just not invincible either... You've gotten thru such adversity, you are strong and capable, but you also need R&R and TLC... Remember to be kind to Jacky

[sugahorse1]

Took 40mg Citalopram to knock my system, as well as Purbloka.
I normally am on 150mg Lamotrigine in the Pm and Wellbutrin and 100 mg Lamotrigine in the AM. Ativan and Klonopin prn. The Citalopram is out the blue. I should be ok... Can I take more? Need to get out of this hole

[jaypop30]

Originally Posted by sugahorse

I don't think I'm depressed. I was a few days ago, but Wellbutrin got me back on track. However, I can never stop feeling lonely and empty. I always need to text or email people. Kind of as an affirmation that I mean something to someone.
I have no motivation at work either. I have some work to do, but get by with the bare minimum. I am on a hamster wheel and not seeing much of a purpose...
So, I'm just going along with things. But a bit pointless. When I'm distracted, I don't notice these things. But when I have some time for my brain to just be, these feelings come to me

Sugahorse you are not alone dealing with this right now. I know all to well what it feels like to be on a hamster wheel. I wish I had some advice to help you out all I got is what I said up above that you are not alone

[Trippin2.0]

Don't take anymore. PLEASE, while I want you to be happy, I don't want you to be completely manic and or hospitilized

[sugahorse1]

I am not feeling too well today. But OK