I wish I had euphoric mania :(

I hate having mixed states and dysphoric mania all the time. I want to have the super happy highs like I used to in college. Oh sure, I was psychotic as all hell, but at least I was fun to be around.

I'm sick of being irritable and aggrivated all the time. I just want to have fun like I used to.

Don't blame you for that.

This is the first time I've heard the term Dysphoric Mania. Learning every day.

I sincerely hope your day improves.

i hear ya - im dull-dull-dull at the moment

Yup I'm on the dypshoric mania train as well. Didn't used to be when I was younger either. Well maybe some but not every manic episode. Now that's all I get. I don't really understand what turns a persons mania like this. For me it happened at the same time I started medication treatment with lithium. Lithium has been my only constant medication that I haven't switched around as it's been 7 years of this dysphoria. Not liking it one bit.

Completely understand Dark Heart, do you know when this switched for you? I'm really curious to what causes this, if anything, maybe it's the natural progression, have no idea.

I was on Lithium too for 8 months. Not sure if that's it, though.

I don't know exactly. I was only diagnosed two years ago.

I remember when I was younger I used to say that I was effected by this "magical energy." The energy would effect my mood. I always described it as "high tide" and "low tide." When it was high, I had tons of energy, was very fun and exciting, but I do remember I could get more irritable, but not anything like now. "Low tide" was when I was depressed.

When I was 26 I lost my oldest son in the divorce, because I also lost my home, and didn't see him for a whole year. He was only 3. I went from a full time at home mom to having no child at all. It was extremely traumatic. It felt like he was kidnapped or had died. Anyway, I often wonder if that might have caused the change because even though we have be somewhat reunited I don't think either of us ever fully recovered from it.

WOW! I am so sorry to hear that happened to you. I don't know what I would do if I ever got seperated from my boys. My wife who currently wants to divorce me said she was going to go stay with her dad in june for a month with the kids and I flipped out. I started to cry and told that there is no way I could live with out my boys for a month perhaps a week but thats it. I am really scared of the divorce part and I am taking it pretty hard since I will not be around my kids 100% of the time.

I feel for you both because i know that train. It wasnt to long ago, just a few weeks back. Yuck. We will get through these things. :-)

The thing that happened was I had no where to live so I lost my son and i had to move 900 miles away because I was offered a place to stay. I was gone for a year, trapped and living in complete poverty. I know it would have been bad for him to have been with me at that time. Now although i get to see him, I have 0 custody of him. Because of that things happen. Like he didn't even call me on Mother's day. (He's 9 now.)

Anyway, I can't talk about it much. It is too big of a trigger.

Hang in there dark_heart

I have a very brief elated period of hypomania before i go off the deep end into mixed manic episode. Otherwise no elation no eurphoria an almost purely negative opposite from my anhedonic depressions is an uncontrollable overwhelming emotional state of agitation. My behaviour is unpredictable, homicidally violent with erratic impulses to take suicidal action. I am told i smile while crying and hysterically laugh about self mutilation or killing myself before psychosis starts to set in.

This liable affect of ups and downs
Happiness on a face that frowns
Sudden loud outbursts of rage
Over nothing that can be explained
My temperment is as far from settled
Violently highy volatile and irritable
Irrational and withdrawn
Racing thoughts, my minds a storm
Not the safest person to be around
When i start searching the corners of a round

My euphoria manic went away when I was around 20. I usually get euphoric hypo-mania for almost a week before mania or mixed state sets in. We're hoping I get back the euphoria as my medical issues get fixed.