[SickOfSadness]

Hello all, I am brand new to the site & learning to navigate it... anyhow, I have a med appt on the 28th & have been battling myself

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[SickOfSadness]

Hello all, I am brand new to the site & learning to navigate it... anyhow, I have a med appt on the 28th & have been battling myself about going on them. I tried Abilify last year, but it made me really depressed, so much so that I literally slept every moment that I could & ended up failing school b/c of it.

I worry about short and long term side effects... I'm already spacey & tired all the time & don't have very much energy or motivation to do much of anything. My mind jumps from one thing to another & I forget what point I was trying to make in the middle of a convo, or my mind just kind of blanks out.. I worry about a lot of things, mainly money (but not to the point of an anxiety attack). I have no patience & can't seem to control my mood swings, they r ususally b/t anger & sadness. its like I get this rush of rage that I find difficult to stop. Uggggh.

I just don't know what to do... I'm happy and scared about getting on meds.

Does anone happen to have any suggestions that maybe I should try first or something?? Any advice will be greatly appreciated....

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[wildflowerchild25]

I was very averse to starting meds last year. I was on the med train for most of my adolescence and did not like where it took me. I tried almost all of them that were available at the time and nothing worked even a little bit (unless you count depakite making me completely apathetic to life). I was scared to start again but I felt I was out of options since the episodes were taking over my life. I tried abilify first (seems to be the new go-to drug) and had the same problem as you - stuck in an abject depression. It took some tinkering (and by tinkering I mean total mood hell) but I have found success with Trileptal as a constant and Seroquel as needed in severe episodes.

What I can recommend is that you research other ways to help your mood besides just meds. Things like DBT, mindfulness, meditation, yoga, and supplements can all help, along with therapy. There are a few regulars here who live med free by using these things. The decision to go the med route is totally up to you. I've found that it's been helpful for me and others have found the opposite. You won't know until you try.

No one can recommend a med to take since everyone will react differently. Just try some and see what happens. Do research about long and short term effects before you agree to take it. Ultimately you will figure out what's best for you.

I hope your journey is an "easy" one :-) we're all here to help you along the way.

[SickOfSadness]

I tried a few supplements, but don't really have the money to spend on them. I was thinking about possibly trying St.Johns Wart (it has helped my stepmom with her mood swings from menopause). I meditate when I can and hav also started going to Reiki Healings (I have my 2nd one tomorrow ) I just feel like its not quite enough.
I'm sick & tired of feeling outraged & sad most of the time. It has caused me to ruin multiple relationships & friendships b/c I lash out on the ones I'm closest to and can't seem to help it b/c I'm aggrivated most of the time, which causes me to have an attitude. My now ex boyfriend told me that I'm using my disorder as a crutch, but I really have a hard time controlling it & a lot of things (like why his breathing sometimes p****s me off) I can't even explain why I'm feeling the way that I do.

Idk, I'm just torn about what to do.

[wildflowerchild25]

No I agree that meds are an option you just have to be willing to ride it out. It can take awhile to find the right combo.

I tried supplements too and thy didn't do anything for me either. I'm glad you have other things to help you too!

Bottom line is if you're not happy with how things are the. You have to explore all options to help make it better :-)