[momneedshelp19]

I'm a mom of a 19 yr old son. Who was diagonsed with biopolar 1 and psychotic features. I can except it. I just need help understanding what he is going through. How can I help him cope with this illness. I'm going to support meetings but I feel like that's not enough. I'm I trying to hard? He is currently taking med's. Mom needs help

[3little.birds]

Well, coming from a 20 year old daughter who wishes her mom accepted her illness, I say just educate yourself as much as you can. There is so much info posted on the Internet that you have access to. I wish my mom looked up information on it to at least try to understand what I go through. It sounds like you are trying to do that, which is awesome!

I also think that how involved you are depends on how your son is. Everyone is different, so it is definitely possible that you could be over-doing it. I say its probably best to become aware of how his illness affects him specifically, and react accordingly and in a way your son would appreciate as things happen. Also maybe you can go in with him to a session with his therapist, or even just need with his therapist alone, as long as he is okay with that. The therapist will most likely be able to better guide you on what you can do that will be best for your son. This wasn't a very good answer probably, sorry I am so vague, I tried .

[ChristySpirals]

The way I can explain it is when he is down he seems useless to the world. Lays in bed or on the same spot of the couch everyday trying to unravel this huge knotted mess of yarn. As soon as he figures out one thing there are 2000 more tangled strings of yarn to get thru to get to the next answer of what he is going through. He is probably exhausted yet driven to find the answer of his delusions.

Reality is perception, I'm sure you've heard of that. While he is probably very intelligent this is something he is not equipped to figure out. A: because he is so jumbled inside his head and B: because there really isn't anything real to figure out.

As his mom, like the above said, all you can really do is educate yourself and be there for him. He will come out of his episodes and you will see your "old son" again...these things just take time. By the sound of it him and you are on the right track. Hope this helped.

[Anneinside]

It would be good to read about bipolar to gain more understanding. The best book for "beginners" is Bipolar for Dummies. It doesn't assume any prior knowledge, is clearly and well written and even puts in a little humor. It is my favorite bipolar information book.

[faerie_moon_x]

Well, when I was 19 I had a psychotic episode. It was delusions of persecution (meaning, I thought people were out to get me and hurt me.) It lasted for several years, until it just sort of faded away and I don't know why. In fact, I completely forgot about it for about 4 years or so. It's hard to say because I can't remember when it stopped or why. I've also had some auditory and visual hallucinations.

I also struggled with depression, and what I didn't realize with mania, since I was a child.

So here's what I can tell you when I experienced that delusion. First off, it was 100% real to me. I had no idea that it wasn't real. I never thought to myself, "I must sound crazy." I not only thought that that it was real, but I fully expected people to know it was real, too. I felt good at that time. I didn't feel depressed, and I was really happy. I'm not sure if I was manic or not. I remember being very, very happy all the time. I was so happy I had "friends" and was happy to be going to college, and trying (and failing) to hold a job, but still happy. I actually ended up getting married during the time of this psychotic episode.... and my oldest son was born, too. The marriage was a mistake, but my oldest son was born... so, that's how that is.

I had the misfortune that I had some "friends" who thought it was just a good idea to go along with it. My ex husband was one of those people, too. No one ever said, "Hey, X, maybe something's wrong with you." I probably would have got mad at them for not believing me, and for saying that. Because I had "seen" vehicles "chasing" me, (really I was partially hallucinating, or if cars drove by, I thought they were the people after me,) it would have been especially hard to hear.

But, today when I look back and realize I was having a psychotic episode what hurts the most? The fact that no one cared enough to come to me and say, "X, something seems wrong here. Do you need help?" No one even tried. When I would tell my dad "I'm depressed," he would say, "Everyone's depressed, get over it." When you tell someone, "I'm suicidal," what do they say? "Oh yeah? Suicidal? Then just do it. Go ahead, do it." Or when you SI what do people say? "You just want sympathy, you just want attention."

Even now, as an adult, I feel like I have no one to turn to at all when I'm struggling.

So even if your son doesn't appreciate it today. Even if he fights you and doesn't seem to listen. Someday he will get to a place where he will look back and say, "Even when times were rough for me, my mom was there for me." And that's worth more than anything, to know at least one person cared.

A big help in trying to understand bipolar illness in oneself is to pay attention to the interior of emotions that we have. Emotions spring from everywhere within. It's important to recognize each of them and to resolve it by thinking that "this one is not one that is meant for my goodness and health" and to dismiss that. The next one may be one that is "this is good for my health and well-being, I'll try to keep that in my memory".

Those kinds of listenting to ourselves help us gain inner strength and tolerance of things on the outside that bother us, because in reality, they can't really hurt us unless we let them. Training the emotions from within gives us strength to manage the outside things.

I hope this helps.

One who's been there and in recovery.

genetic

[DaveyJones]

There are support groups for families of folks like your son. Check for a NAMI chapter in your area, (National Alliance on Mental Illness). They are there for you. It is good to talk to others who have walked this path. As others have said, learn as much as you can about this illness, knowledge is power! Encourage your son to learn, also. Help him to do the things that help us stay stable–sleep, exercise, maintaining his medication regimen. See if he'll keep a mood chart. You may want to keep one for him too. It will help you see any patterns in his condition.

Above every thing else, just love him. Sometimes it won't be easy, just be there. I hope things go well. I know you'll learn to handle this.

[camping7768]

I'm a mom of a recently diagnosed 19 year old son. I think we're both in the right place to learn about this illness. I just wanted to let you know that you can pm me anytime you want to talk to another mom. Everyone on this forum is so helpful and I'm so happy to be here learning and getting to know all of you. Maybe someday I'll be able to be there for all of you like you've been for me.