[ChristySpirals]

Is anyone else like this? Like you try so hard to talk with a level voice but as the conversation keeps going there is a bubbling inside of you and soon you roar? Another post got me thinking about this. I can never EVER have a conversation with someone who is thinking differently than me without screaming and yelling. Ex: Me:"Ok kids time for bed, get a drink, hugs, kiss then in your beds". 2 mins later the kids are still pissing around Me: "If you guys aren't in your beds in less than a minute then you owe time tomorrow night, do you want to go to bed early tomorrow"? Kids continue to piss around Me"Get the f*&k in your rooms now, both of you are grounded"!!!

Same thing when choosing a movie to watch lol. Picking a restraunt to eat at ends up in me yelling "I don't give a f&*k where you want to eat, I'm not even hungry anymore". So much for family time ugh!

[Trippin2.0]

Yes claws, claws, claws. It's my signature move, and if I can't openly scratch you, I WILL hiss so politely that my venom is overlooked by onlookers, and even possibly the prey... Do my best to keep claws and venom away from my daughter tho. She knows they're there, but she understands that its never directed at her. If it does make an appearance in her presence, I do my best to explain (not justify) and proceed to apologize profusely. Poor kid

[BlueInanna]

Yea Christy, I relate. Probably said those exact things before. I've calmed down a lot with age. Guess I'm more of a cougar now rawrr lol. I used to try to do a "cool meter" with my kids when they were little, I'd raise my hand up, then when hand gets to forehead, mama's gonna blow! But then they just started doing it back to me lol, so forget that one.

One of the kids pdocs told me about a book called 123-Magic. I forget how old your kids are, but it was a good easy approach, and turned my youngest's behaviour 180 degrees. Thank you God (or fill in your own word lol) that I have 1 child who behaves.

I'm either doing that.. or the exact opposite. Sometimes, I could let my kids stay up for an extra two hours messing around and be totally fine with it. Other times if they screw around even a little I am super pissed about it. Not really fair to them and I'm working hard on being consistant.

[BipolaRNurse]

Consistency isn't exactly a BPer's strong suit, ya know? LOL

I was awful about that with my kids, and I'm probably going to be apologizing to them for the rest of my days for it. They just never knew which mother was going to come home from work each day---the tired but easygoing one who'd listen to their complaints and offer constructive advice, or the B**** from Hell. They're all grown now and we're all still on speaking terms, so I must've done something a little bit right, but I wouldn't put them through their childhoods again for anything in the world.

[~Christina]

I can relate I can relate I can relate

[ChristySpirals]

So were you moms aware of your bp and medicated? If not would that have made a difference? I feel like now that I am aware there is extra pressure to prove it wrong. A lot of guilt is my thing. I realize I'm being a meany, do something to try to counteract it, then end up being a meany again. My youngest has a possible mood disorder so we are at each other a lot. My oldest is a people pleaser and I know when he gets yelled at it goes straight to his heart.

[Trippin2.0]

My 8y.o daughter knows about my dx, she's quick to pick up on my moods, and knows when mommy needs alone time. Telling her about my dx assured her that: 1 its not her fault that mommy goes apeshit, and 2. Mommy ALWAYS gets better. For me, my dx has made me hypervigilant, I'm sure it shields her to some extent.

[Confusedinomicon]

I have that problem. Yesterday my bf stopped a conversation because I started getting angry. Its embarrassing.

I judge too easily.

[Irreplaceable]

Yes...I have this issue also...I calmly try my hardest to speak slowly and quietly... I mentally tell myself to, "chill"....The slower I talk, the more pissed I am...I have literally even said in conversations, "I'm not mad, I'm not mad, I'm not mad"... Over and over...LOL...As tho I am trying to convince myself and talk myself down. My daughter does what your kids do...When it's time for bed, and just whenever she feels like it...The first 3,4,5 (yes that many) times, I am calm....She may know that I am angry, but I am calm...After the 5th time, all gloves are off... I yell, and yes curse. I know, it's horrible...But being honest...

[Irreplaceable]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

Consistency isn't exactly a BPer's strong suit, ya know? LOL

I was awful about that with my kids, and I'm probably going to be apologizing to them for the rest of my days for it. They just never knew which mother was going to come home from work each day---the tired but easygoing one who'd listen to their complaints and offer constructive advice, or the B**** from Hell. They're all grown now and we're all still on speaking terms, so I must've done something a little bit right, but I wouldn't put them through their childhoods again for anything in the world.

You ain't never lied...Ain't that the truth...Same exact with me...Either hot or cold...Your post gives me hope...Because I worry about the same thing with my daughter...But she is a happy and healthy child among other things...So, so far so good...I guess I'm not doing as bad as I thought.... ***shrugs***

[BlueInanna]

Originally Posted by ChristySpirals

So were you moms aware of your bp and medicated? If not would that have made a difference? I feel like now that I am aware there is extra pressure to prove it wrong. A lot of guilt is my thing. I realize I'm being a meany, do something to try to counteract it, then end up being a meany again. My youngest has a possible mood disorder so we are at each other a lot. My oldest is a people pleaser and I know when he gets yelled at it goes straight to his heart.

No I wasn't aware of it nor medicated until 2 years ago. I understand now why I used to self-medicate with pot. Therapy sooner would've helped mucho.

I'm the same way, especially with my boyfriend. I pretty much just ignore everyone else if I'm in a pissy mood -- But it is the curse of my boyfriend that he adores me & enforces reaction. Try to do a good thing & you get **** all for it. :P

I don't worry too much about being that way with kids, though... Not sure why. I'd do my best to educate my kids & enforce strict discipline so if I ever DO lose my cool, they wouldn't feel to blame for it. My Mum's bipolar freakouts were enough to engrain that into my head, lol

[BlueInanna]

Boyfriends are so cute when they put up with mood swings. Last weekend I was bad, told him better not make me jealous, then dance with all the other men. He was just nice and took me home, where I puked... tmi?