[ggtina]

She always asks me how I am doing and I always say I am fine or ok. When I am really not.

I am bound and determined to answer truthfully and ever wrote down what I want to say because I have this strange feeling I will chicken out when the time comes and answer with the usual.

So I'm hoping if I do answer ok i can follow it with but I am really not.

[BipolaRNurse]

Your shrink's office is the one place where it's okay NOT to say "Fine" when asked how you're doing. Polite society ends at the door---this is your time to talk about what's on your mind. You are paying this person to listen to your complaints, your struggles, your insights. And they know you're not fine when you say "I'm fine," because if you really were fine, you wouldn't need them.

Be honest. Your pdoc's heard it all before, and you owe it to yourself and your health to be as forthright as possible. Otherwise, you can't make the most of your appointment and are wasting money to boot.

Remember, the three people you should never lie to are: a) your attorney; b) your priest/pastor; and c) your doctor. Best of luck with tomorrow's appointment.

One thing my T does that is helpful is that each and every time I go in (all of his patients do this), I fill out a depression assessment (it's like 16 quick multiple choice questions long so it's not at all overwhelming) that places my degree of depression on a scale. He also has us fill out a form with general questions about how we are doing in relation to the last time we met, what side effects we may be having from meds and whether they are tolerable or not, what questions we would like him to answer, what events have gone on in our lives since we last talked. Stuff like that. I find it helpful to organize my thoughts and questions for a few minutes before I walk into his office to talk, and the depression scale gives him at least a place to start with how I am doing at the moment. It keeps me from defaulting to the "I'm fine" response and makes our appointments so much more effective.

Can you write down a few thoughts and questions to work from during your appointment so it can be a productive one?

[Mac Murphy]

I agree that it's hard not to say you are doing OK. I did that for years with my pdoc and talkdoc until it landed me in the hospital. Now I say that with my wife even though I am far from OK sometimes. It's a good idea to write things down and bring those thoughts to the doc. It takes courage to do that but can be very rewarding in the long run.

[BipolaRNurse]

Love your avatar, Mac!!

[sugahorse1]

Writing your true answer down will start a good habit to allow you to be open and honest.
I used a similar approach, and you really get so much more out of it

[Victoria'smom]

Please tell us how it went.

[SeekingZen]

ggtina,

How did it go with your T appointment? I am glad you asked this question, as I often feel this way. Hope everything went well!

[BuggsBunny]

Hoping you get this before the appointment...
The urge to say I'm fine or I'm ok is a strong one because people in general don't want to hear anything else. One of the things I have been saying for many years when I am not okay is "I'm alive, or I'm hanging in there" which lets my docs know I'm not okay, but opens the door to discussion instead. It also is something safe to say when the doc asks me around other people, and I feel uncomfortable answering anything else as we walk to the inner office.

There are a variety of phrases you can come up with - I'm out of bed and dressed, is another one I use. I'm still standing, is another, all of which open the door to telling the doc how I really feel.

Best of luck today, and let us know how you do!
~Buggs

[Clinte89]

Good one Buggs! And yes dont be afraid to be honest with your doc, they are there to help. As my dad says garbage in garbage out.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm here, is one of mine when not well.

[ggtina]

My appointment went better the expected. When she asked me how I was feeling I kind of ignored answering as we were around people still. She wanted me to fill her in on what was happening since I have seen her so I dug out my piece of paper and went over things with her.

She completely took me off the Zoloft as I wasn't having withdraw symtoms from not taking it. She wants me to continue on the normal abilify dosage and take the trazadone as needed.

So overall i am happy about the visit. She wants to see me back in 3 months unless I need to see her sooner.

[Clinte89]

Im glad it went well for you, the paper idea is great i may try that next time.

[~Christina]

I'm glad your appointment went well .

For me personally I am brutally honest when I see my Pdoc or Tdoc ... I see no reason to pay someone to help me if I'm not going to be honest and allow them to help me.

Because I am so brutally honest with my Tdoc him and I have a wonderful relationship.. I trust him completely ..Maybe I just got lucky and found a pdoc and tdoc I CAN trust so that I'm able to be so honest with? Not sure.

But regardless if your seeking help from a professional you should be able to be honest ... God knows I cant be this honest to my family and friends as they would freak out and my husband would get angry because he cant " fix" me

Im grateful everyday that I have a Tdoc I can unload on and he understands what i struggle with daily ..

Wishing you Peace and Love ~

[BuggsBunny]

Yeah, saw my own pdoc today, too. It really doesn't help to not be brutally honest, as you are only cutting yourself off at the knees. We pay a fortune to see these people - or someone does on our behalf - and another fortune in medications they advise us to take based on what we say to them. So why lie or only give a partial truth?

You made a good choice by not answering the question until you were away from people who could overhear. And the paper idea was great, too!

[BipolaRNurse]

Wow, you don't have to go back for 3 months? You must be doing pretty well (I'm still going in every 2 or 3 WEEKS). Congratulations!!!

[ggtina]

I really am not doing to well. Mostly because i havn't been taking the medication to regulary. She really wants me to take it consistently, get back on track kind of thing. She can normally get me in quickly if something changes.

So I really need to get back on my meds consistently and see if they're actually working properly and go from there.

[ggtina]

and first I need to find them because I just moved 2 days ago and havn't unpacked them yet

[mjpurple]

Please dont say you are fine when at the pdocs office. I like the suggestion of writing it out so you dont forget, or write it out and hand it to the pdoc so she/he can start the conversation

[Seaswept]

I'm glad your visit went well.
And I know how you feel about not being able to find things. I just moved too.

Farmergirl: your Dr. sounds awesome I'd love a Dr. like that.

[bluemountains]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

Wow, you don't have to go back for 3 months? You must be doing pretty well (I'm still going in every 2 or 3 WEEKS). Congratulations!!!

I just went from 2-3 weeks to a 3 months on my visits. This happened because the pdoc believes that I am stable on my meds now. I feel like I've graduated because the 2-3 weeks lasted for 8 months!

[hamster-bamster]

With all due respect, I do not think that a doctor who asks "How are you doing?" in a casual, society-type way - in a way that makes the patient feel an urge to say "fine" as expected in polite society - is a good doctor. What the OP did with the suggestions of other posters is excellent, but it is also the doctor's JOB to ELICIT honest responses. I must say that when my doctor asks me this question, she does not sound casual; there is concern and even anxiety in her voice, and I just go ahead and spill it without any prepared paperwork. She asks this question expecting that I would bring up stuff, not say "fine". And on those occasions that I did feel fine, I was beaming with happiness (not manic though) and she was visibly happy with me and for me. You would understand why I am sad that she is leaving for VA.

Switching topics a bit. A couple of years ago I had a not so good doctor, well not at all a good doctor, and she, during the first consult, asked me whether I see things that are not there and have delusions. Not long ago I recited to my friend, who is a p-doc in Europe, and he had a really good laugh. He thought that she was either inexperienced or did not like her line of work. The latter must be true because she had been practicing for a long time. The thing is, hallucinations are a difficult subject and a patient cannot always report 100% correctly whether she is seeing things that are there or "are not there". With delusions, even more so, you may steadfastly believe your train of thought without realizing that it is a delusion.

Questions psychiatrists ask matter.

[Clinte89]

Well I know my doctor asks how are you and I think its fine to ask that. But I think it depends on the person. I always am like hmm... for example: Well doc things could be better I am haveing problem 1 ,2,3,4,etc. But I must say he does say it with concern in his face and body language maybe thats why.