[BlueInanna]

Everything was going so well. I got out of my depression, I made it to work every day full hours for a full week. I went to the gym even and was exercizing.

Then it started Sunday while cleaning my 16 yr old's room. I found a piece of jewelry I'd been missing in his dresser under some clothes. It proves he did steal over $3k worth of jewelry of mine, when he was doing meth. He had me convinced i'd just misplaced my necklaces, but this proved it and I went nuts. We yelled at each other. He still won't admit it, says he doesn't remember. I don't/didn't have a lot of nice jewelry, I want it back, I made payments for years on that ****! And this reminds me of his dad who used to steal money from me, total thief that guy.

But what I'm more disappointed about is losing my cool with him. And I'm disappointed that I'm feeling sad again. Things were going well, I was able to work and be productive for about a week and a half after months of depression. Then I woke up this morning with the feeling of impending doom, catastrophic thinking, so worried that I'm depressed again, and how long will I have to wait to come up again? But maybe I'm prematurely deciding this is a depression. Maybe this is just a morning where I'm sad and crying and I could be back to work tomorrow I don't know.

I didn't take my meds right away this morning because I went to the clinic for blood test for lithium levels, then realized I left the labwork order at home. Duhhh! And home is not close to town. I feel so incompetent right now.

[Trippin2.0]

you're not incompetent. Just stressed, sad and preoccupied. My x stole from me, about 2k if I remember correctly... meth addict. So I know how you must be feeling about the theft don't beat yourself up, WHO could be 'cool' after being decieved? I doubt even a saint could. Your feelings are valid, your reaction, by the sound of it, was natural. And you're right, don't jump the gun, you may very well just be sad. Bipolar doesn't mean automatic extreme emotion. We're allowed to have unipolar scale feelings too... Please look after yourself BI

Disciplining him is the way to teach him, in my view. You have no reason to feel guilty; it's your job to help him learn to behave, as I see it.

I'd even hold him responsible and arrange to have payments made to you when he gets his first job and starts to make a little money. Nothing teaches like a good scare sometimes.

Please try not to feel bad about discipline. Feel good about yourself for tackling a problem and trying to make a good man of your son. He needs the training--all kids do.

Or hang a sign in the kitchen that says "This Is My Kitchen". See how fast
Mom comes flying in to cook!

Genetic

[faerie_moon_x]

I'd be very angry to discover someone was stealing things from me. I don't have a lot of nice things so it would make me mad. Even if it was my kids, I think maybe even more so if it was my kids. What disrespect.

Maybe due to the drugs he doesn't remember. I don't know if meth effects your memory. I just know it's very bad for your body. But, even so, that doesn't mean it didn't hurt you and that he shouldn't make amends. Just like bipolar, maybe I'm manic and being irrational, but that doesn't excuse me from saying "I'm sorry" later.

I agree with genetic on this one with setting up a payment plan to pay you back. 3k is a lot of money.

[BuggsBunny]

First, lots of . It is a sad thing to discover that your child steals from you. Next, you have a right to be out of sorts today, you have to take the time to deal with your sadness. An old therapist of mine used to say you have to take time to mourn the things you have lost, not just the people. And your necklaces were treasures to you, so they deserve some mourning. It may not be a popular thing in this "get over it" society, but do allow yourself to grieve a bit. Just don't allow yourself to go overboard with it. (A depression of more than a few days is overboard.) You don't have to go around crying, but do acknowledge that the feelings are there and express them.

By doing this, I have found that I don't spiral down into a full depression after an event like yours. I hope you find the same thing.

[hamster-bamster]

I am so sorry this happened. I am sure your son feels bad, just does not know how to express it. I agree with Trippin that even a saint would have lost her cool, and we are not saints.

...i hope you will be ok

[BlueInanna]

Thanks guys I think I will be ok, I've made it through this day that really sucked. We actually had court for my son, for a previous assault on me and vandalism in the house. He has probation now, which is for the best. I'm not reporting the jewelry... he's been off of the meth for about 6 weeks, but I do wish he'd realize he must've stolen the jewelry even if he doesnt remember and just apologize to me! Will discuss at our next therapy, and figure out how he's going to make this right, like payments when he gets a job. My son has been puttin me through the ringer with these teenage years from hell. He's been given dx's since age 11 starting with depression when he tried to hurt himself, then anxiety, then adhd, then BP, and even conduct disorder. What I think going on is more like borderline pd... idk.

So then I got an eviction notice for my place of business today. Rent is late but the guy usually talks to us at least, plus we pay enormous late fees with rent being late a lot recently. So the stress keeps coming, it's almost laughable how so much seems to go wrong all at the same time. I really wish capitalism made accomodations for special needs, like the schools have to.. like extra time with paying rent *sighs*

Anyway I just pushed through the day, telling myself just keep going and the depression won't catch us. Trying to keep things in perspective and preserve my mental health at all costs.

[quote=genetic;2452874]Disciplining him is the way to teach him, in my view. You have no reason to feel guilty; it's your job to help him learn to behave, as I see it.

I'd even hold him responsible and arrange to have payments made to you when he gets his first job and starts to make a little money. Nothing teaches like a good scare sometimes.

Please try not to feel bad about discipline. Feel good about yourself for tackling a problem and trying to make a good man of your son. He needs the training--all kids do.
__________________________________________________________

Genetic

[quote=genetic;2452874]Disciplining him is the way to teach him, in my view. You have no reason to feel guilty; it's your job to help him learn to behave, as I see it.

I'd even hold him responsible and arrange to have payments made to you when he gets his first job and starts to make a little money. Nothing teaches like a good scare sometimes.

Please try not to feel bad about discipline. Feel good about yourself for tackling a problem and trying to make a good man of your son. He needs the training--all kids do.

____________________________________________________________

There was an error on that last line; sorry about that; I removed it.

Genetic

I was like that as a kid too I'm 33 now and havent touched anything since I was 18... but ive been there. I stole and would do anything to keep injecting meth. Please don't feel that he doesn't love you or care... I cared even though I was doing it too... it gets uncontrollable... I was self medicating. It is like bipolar in a way... gets to be like all control is lost. Protect yourself from him for sure, but please don't feel that he is doing it based on any feelings he has towards you. He needs help, just like I did.

Sent from my Kindle Fire using Tapatalk 2

[BlueInanna]

I'm so happy to hear that you got off it. It's the worst drug I can think of, I hate what it has done to my son, to my family. I started going to Alanon and that helps a lot. At least half the folks in there are there cuz their kids are on drugs or alcohol. And I do think he's self-medicating like you say you were. But he's been clean off meth for about 6 weeks, we've tested him, so that is awesome. He's still smoking pot, hash, cigs, but therapist is aware and working on it with him. The first step was getting him away from the meth. Now he has a probation officer who will make sure he goes to school. They also want to mandate him to take psych meds... he's prescribed lithium and clonopin. He doesn't want the meds, and I don't think I'm going to force him into taking them at this time. We'll see if he goes manic, then I probably will. It's been so hard to tell what behavior is biological/BP and what is from the drug use.

[bluemountains]

I'm offering lots of hugs.
I have a son, 12, who has already been diagnosed with a mood disorder and he is on medication-a tough decision, but he was going 24 hours without sleep. Also, his anger was affecting everyone in the family so much that I didn't want to go home. He is doing well now with therapy and medication. I fear the teen years, though.
I hope that your son continues to do well. You are a strong person, BlueInanna, having the courage to stick by your son and try to get him on the right path.
Bluemountains