... a friend of mine mentioned something about this to me today and it clicked and she made alot of sense and even more sense than I try to make ....and

first it freaked me out I have a friend... hehe

nah...seriously, it's been a problem my entire life! nah seriously, I have a friend wow!!...nah seriously now, I have assumed other peoples identities just to fit in stay safe and not be rejected.

....of course this is only when I have been around them....changed my colours, my ideals, my feelings and thoughts my shape.

it's been so overwhelming with mental illness and the stigma and the impossibility of BEING REAL being me and actually succeeding and getting away with it.

....and of course it's exhausting to maintain it's impossible so in private I would go back to my original colours and shape and how absurd and it's unfair to have to live like that!...and these are the times my episodes would really hit hard like my personality is all way backed up to the max!

I have said many times to my therapists and such that "I just presume and believe that everyone else has got their **** together"....and I must adapt to their world because I am the messed up one here!

...just look at the damage in my life...surely I am the messed up one?? but maybe they just 'appear' to hide it better?

talk about getting lost in amongst it! it's a definite BPD trait as well this one and it backfires on everybody sometimes especially the poor little chameleon.

some call it being extra impressionable it's also a way of concealing myself...hiding in amongst the chaos...the mental ninja!...maybe it's not such a bad thing

[Trippin2.0]

Thinking about it, I'm sure chameleoning has been responsible for my worst episodes not the type you mention above, but rather the type where I mirror the emotions of my present company... It always lead to me unravelling...

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

Thinking about it, I'm sure chameleoning has been responsible for my worst episodes not the type you mention above, but rather the type where I mirror the emotions of my present company... It always lead to me unravelling...

yeah I had to think about that to the way you described......

is it like a way to make the other person feel more comfortable and then before you know it you have inadvertantly "absorbed" all their suffering (or joy I guess it could be joy) and WOW!... totally lost and at their mercy and the unravelling commences?...suddenly suffocating and what may have begun as harmless associating ....

[Trippin2.0]

Yes, and no James. Most times for me, it's bcos my emotions are inappropriate, and then I adopt someone else's... By the end of the interaction, I'm mentally worn out and confused as hell!

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

Yes, and no James. Most times for me, it's bcos my emotions are inappropriate, and then I adopt someone else's... By the end of the interaction, I'm mentally worn out and confused as hell!

Ophelia...thanks for this , it makes excellent sense and I'm not just adapting to you here...it really does make sense and it's simplified it muchly for me indeed

it's full-on aint it!

when we adopt someone elses emotions like that it's amazing trust we are putting in them, it would be awesome just to 'rock up' and bring our own without feeling crap about them

[Trippin2.0]

Itsa pleasure James I would absolutely just LOVE to rock up! Sometimes I allow myself the luxury, but obviously just in an über-safe environment... But, things would definitly be less complex and less devastating if it was acceptable to just rock up

Really good stuff both of you! James.. Gotta say excellent thread. My therapist once talked to me about congruency and having that in your life, how it would really change things for me. I kinda was like ya I get it blah blah. But later and much later I really thought about what she had said. Same as in the Gandhi quote I have below. What you think, feel, say, and do all match up. All in one line, parallel, congruent. The authentic self.

It might sound a bit of topic but I think that's exactly what you are talking about. And when you can be authentic with yourself and the world, it's called peaceful, or bliss ( according to me haha )And sure things might not feel peaceful or blissful, its that internal type of knowing you are being real. And it's funny you know, when you put your authentic self out to the universe, I think you get an accepting response you might not expect. Sure you might get a few neighsayers but that's for them too worry about.

Ahh sorry if that doesn't make tons of sense or seem to fit. I'm too chatty lately.

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

Itsa pleasure James I would absolutely just LOVE to rock up! Sometimes I allow myself the luxury, but obviously just in an über-safe environment... But, things would definitly be less complex and less devastating if it was acceptable to just rock up

...well said Ophelia!

and thats exactly what this nutty mastermind bipolar activist is always up to in his crazy little mental science lab...

tryin' to re-invent reality

Originally Posted by Anika

Really good stuff both of you! James.. Gotta say excellent thread. My therapist once talked to me about congruency and having that in your life, how it would really change things for me. I kinda was like ya I get it blah blah. But later and much later I really thought about what she had said. Same as in the Gandhi quote I have below. What you think, feel, say, and do all match up. All in one line, parallel, congruent. The authentic self.

It might sound a bit of topic but I think that's exactly what you are talking about. And when you can be authentic with yourself and the world, it's called peaceful, or bliss. And sure things might not fel peaceful or blissful, its that internal type of knowing you are being real. Ok well that's what I call it. And it's funny you know, when you put your authentic self out to the universe, I think you get an accepting response you might not expect. Sure you might get a few neighsayers but that's for them too worry about.

Ahh sorry if that doesn't make tons of sense or seem to fit. I'm too chatty lately.

hey Anika....thats fantastic!...makes loads of sense. it's way on topic and I just love the word "authenticity"

it's everywhere in nature...as an example and in the universe and how special it would be to 'line up' with all of that....congruency....really great

thankyou...

your chatty is authentic and superb!

[Trippin2.0]

Anika, authentic self equating bliss makes perfect sense. I've experienced it myself

[BlueInanna]

Originally Posted by dubblemonkey

when we adopt someone elses emotions like that it's amazing trust we are putting in them, it would be awesome just to 'rock up' and bring our own without feeling crap about them

Wow, very insightful! But I think it's ok to be a chamelean sometimes, an under-cover monkey disguise. It's ok to get to know people before showing any of your layers. It's ok not to get to know people if you're not so inclined, in my opinion. And I really like the quote you're talking about Anika, on your signature, it is great food for thought for me. And mind expanding, thank you.

[BlueInanna]

Also - there is an energy exercise you can try if you tend to be a sort of psychic sponge, absorbing others' emotions and energies. Visualize your aura around you as a clear or even sparkling egg shape around you, even under your feet, fairly close around your body. Then put a protection around the outside, royal blue color is known for protection and even transmuting the energies into something non-toxic. Then when at home or safer place, let your aura flow out through your whole house if you want. Works for me

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

Wow, very insightful! But I think it's ok to be a chamelean sometimes, an under-cover monkey disguise. It's ok to get to know people before showing any of your layers. It's ok not to get to know people if you're not so inclined, in my opinion. And I really like the quote you're talking about Anika, on your signature, it is great food for thought for me. And mind expanding, thank you.

...so in that respect Blue...it's like a skill it demonstrates caution and regard for 'self' like a defence and at the same time it's not 'in your face' and gives others the benefit of the doubt yep that what they think and feel is important....is that what you mean sorta' ?

undercover monkey....hehe

it's just it can be addictive getting such emotionally complex responses from people when they feel so at ease we have just let their hair down for them and nobody can let mine down now cos I feel bald...

umm I think I confused myself here...it's ok

[BlueInanna]

Yes, I suppose I'm saying it is a skill. It's like diplomacy... But you gotta make sure not to let anyone drain you, gotta keep your boundaries of what's ok with you. Part of the mystery of life figuring out who we are, where one person stops and another begins. I'm realizing recently that I have attracted some female friends in my life over the years that tend to talk about themselves mostly, and now from this thread, I think maybe I've been doing it so that I won't have to talk and show the real me. Plus the way my mind can race it is hard to get sentences spoken. It's hard to socialize casually for me in real life. Most can't relate to what I experience in my head, so I try to nod pleasantly, and talk about horribly boring topics like their vacations and such.

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

Plus the way my mind can race it is hard to get sentences spoken. It's hard to socialize casually for me in real life. Most can't relate to what I experience in my head, so I try to nod pleasantly, and talk about horribly boring topics like their vacations and such.

...yeah I gotcha there for sure...(not just sayin)

hey Blue I wrote sometin' in the ADHD about our alternative minds and stuff maybe you might relate?

[BlueInanna]

I will go over there now, can't stay one place too long

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

I will go over there now, can't stay one place too long

hehe...thats funny painfully true but funny yep