[BlueInanna]

I have to go to a wedding today. I feel so nervous about the crowds and people I won't know. I'm going as a date, so I might not know anyone. And I'm having some racing thoughts, **** what if I talk to fast to people or talk nonstop and they nod politely, or the opposite could happen!

Last wedding I was supposed to go to, I missed because I was having a meltdown. The bride my friend still hasn't forgiven me. When I started to explain to her about my depression (she is a psychotherapist, I thought she might understand) and was about to tell her I newly had a BPII dx, she told me her mom was BP and they don't get along, so I did not end up telling her.

Then at another wedding, my friend the bride was starting to have a meltdown, and I told her it will be ok, she can always get a divorce doh!! Luckily she laughed and said she's just stressed about the lei's and headwreaths not about marrying him. What was I thinking? sheesh!

I think maybe weddings are just stressful for me and I will hopefully feel better after a shower. Thanks for letting me ramble and process my mixed up thoughts and feelings.

[Clinte89]

Sorry they are so rough on you. Any specific reason why? Well im glad you where able to get it all out here, I hope everything went well for you I'm sure you did fine. Cheers

[eloquentdisaster]

I'm sorry you had to go through that I hope everything went well.

[BlueInanna]

I almost didn't make it when, the hot little dress I wanted to wear doesn't fit me anymore, couldn't get the zipper up! So talked myself into staying calm and found another outfit.

But I did make it, and who do I see there - my pdoc! rofl, we just did a quick wave. Turned out ok, people were happy to talk to me. More than two people said I had met them before but I don't remember.

And then I remembered how much I love to dance. So I danced and danced, got twirled around by several nice men, that was very fun actually. I'm glad I went.

And Clinte- I think my anxiety with weddings is about the crowds of people, that I might have a panic attack in front of them. Also I get anxious that I'll be totally bored and stuck there with all those people, and not be able to leave. Or that someone might know something about my life and say something about one of my kids' problems that might send me into a crying spell, I've had those in public before and can't stop crying, start hyperventilating, those are horrible.

[Clinte89]

Oh Im sorry to hear that. Thats is rough to handle, but im glad you did well and saw people you know. So heres you you doing great. Cheers.

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

I have to go to a wedding today. I feel so nervous about the crowds and people I won't know. I'm going as a date, so I might not know anyone. And I'm having some racing thoughts, **** what if I talk to fast to people or talk nonstop and they nod politely, or the opposite could happen!

Last wedding I was supposed to go to, I missed because I was having a meltdown. The bride my friend still hasn't forgiven me. When I started to explain to her about my depression (she is a psychotherapist, I thought she might understand) and was about to tell her I newly had a BPII dx, she told me her mom was BP and they don't get along, so I did not end up telling her.

Then at another wedding, my friend the bride was starting to have a meltdown, and I told her it will be ok, she can always get a divorce doh!! Luckily she laughed and said she's just stressed about the lei's and headwreaths not about marrying him. What was I thinking? sheesh!

I think maybe weddings are just stressful for me and I will hopefully feel better after a shower. Thanks for letting me ramble and process my mixed up thoughts and feelings.

weddings are a real nightmare for nearly everyone involved....it's a psychotic demonstration of love between two people.

my mum remarried in a nice little garden with just a couple of people and that means two!

the whole over abundant emotional extraveganza just freaks most people out Blue....

if things are sensitive in your own intimate life it's like walking into a minefield...every step has the potential for delicate but deep explosions within.....unless of course we can separate and think only of the 'couple'....

how long can anyone do that? thats why there is so much alcohol around because no-one expects to give a damn !!

weird things weddings.

I went to one alone and to another one with someone that hated me so it was a disaster each time.....bit cynical here sorry Blue

[BlueInanna]

There certainly was a lot of alcohol involved. I did partake a bit too much, got a little headache today. Plus I had to keep looking around for pdoc in between drinks, whose daughter randomly was a bridesmaid, to see if she was noticing me drinking lol.

It's so funny to me when I see my pdoc in public, during appointments she seems so wise and perfect. One time I saw her in town, she was driving and didn't see me, but she squealed on her brakes she almost hit a pedestrian, she was on her cell phone which is illegal here in Cali. Maybe inappropriate of me, but I couldn't stop laughing for about an hour after that one, just because the look on her face I'll never forget.

hehe...thats funny Blue ....the PDOC creature appears to have this indomitable aura in the clinic...

yet...

out in the wild the PDOC creature fumbles and stumbles often equally if not more calamitously than we do

it's a sight to behold and rarely captured on film any footage is highly prized

sometimes just a glimpse is enough...the PDOC creature is a crafty one

[BlueInanna]

Originally Posted by dubblemonkey

hehe...thats funny Blue ....the PDOC creature appears to have this indomitable aura in the clinic...

yet...

out in the wild the PDOC creature fumbles and stumbles often equally if not more calamitously than we do

it's a sight to behold and rarely captured on film any footage is highly prized

sometimes just a glimpse is enough...the PDOC creature is a crafty one

YES rofl. I, stealthily, with my highly attuned bp skill spotted the rare and elusive pdoc creature on her wild hunt for the tasty pedestrian sandwich!

crack me up....hehe

awesome!!

[hilaryous10]

I have your same fears. This past weekend I went to my boyfriend's best friend's wedding. I only knew the bride and groom and my boyfriend was the best man; therefore, I was left out of a lot of things. I had to get to know people and talk to people. Sometimes I just sat at the table alone and people came up to me and started talking. Usually they are very friendly at weddings. I don't think you have anything to worry about!!