[brokenandalone1234]

I have been diagnosed bipolar since I was 14. I am 22 now and still have not come to terms with my diagnoses so I am not taking my meds like I should. Its not like I don't have the reasons to take them. I have an ex who I want back and he will only even think of giving me a chance again when I am on my meds everyday. If you knew how I am when I am not medicated then you would understand. I love this ex a lot but he wants me on meds for six months before he will even consider dating me again. I get on them for a week start to get stable and I see the change and I am like I don't need them thinking I am normal by my own doing not seeing that its the meds causing me to be normal ok I should more say that I am myself. I am the girl that my ex fell in love with. It upsets him when I get off of them because than the girl he fell in love with leaves and a monster returns in her place. I want to get on them for six months but I want to be on them for longer. How do I come terms with my diagnoses and then get on my meds everyday. I want the girl my ex fell in love with back. I am a lot easier to deal with when I am medicated. I turn into a complete ***** when I am not medicated.

[Travelinglady]

Do you have any sense of why you haven't accepted your diagnosis? It sounds like intellectually you know you need meds to keep you "normal." Are you afraid of the stigma? Just don't feel like taking meds? You certainly have a big incentive to keep taking them!

Is there any way you can motivate yourself--for example, putting some money in a jar every time you take your meds--and then treating yourself to something nice? Or some other way?

Are you seeing a therapist? If not, then I certainly encourage you to do so.
And ask him/her to help you with this issue.

I was diagnosed with bipolar 12 years ago when I was in my forties. I really had a hard time believing it then. But, like you, I see how I get when I don't take my meds--and I don't want to make my family and myself miserable. I have a schedule I take my meds on every day. It IS the right, mature thing to do, dear one. Be nice to yourself and go ahead and do it. Okay?

You have friends here who care--and are in the same boat you are in. Being bipolar isn't the end of the world. It's like having diabetes. You get a diagnosis, and you just have to do what you need to do to stay well.

I hope I'm being helpful. It's past time for me to take my meds and hit the sack! I'll try to check on you in the morning.....

[BlackPup]

Sometimes talking with a therapist/ counsellor (T) can help you work out the reasons why you stop taking the meds. So maybe that would be a good idea.
You have a good incentive to continue taking them so I would focus on that. It sucks to take meds every day but its better than the alternative (I don't remember how many times I have quit mine... always for the worst)
I might be completely off the mark here but is there any way that you could be sabotaging your relationship by going off the meds. I know there were times I felt like I didn't deserve to be stable, healthy and in a relationship.
I think a big part of it is the illness lies to us and tells us that we don't need to take our meds. You have to fight that all the time.
Some people have suggested to write down why you are taking your meds, and what happens if you don't take them. Then when you are tempted not to take them read what you have written.

[brokenandalone1234]

The list and the money in jar idea both are things I am willing to try. I know I have a good reason to take them. I am afraid of the stigma. I am afraid of being teased like I was back in high school. I was bullied to the point that it left me wanting to commit suicide every day. People in the real world are lot crueler than high school kids.

[BlackPup]

Not sure about that- I've found the real world to be far nicer than high school.

[hamster-bamster]

I wish it were that easy for me. I wish my ex would be willing to get back together simply after I go 6 months without skipping meds. You are very lucky, unbelievably lucky.

[venusss]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

I wish it were that easy for me. I wish my ex would be willing to get back together simply after I go 6 months without skipping meds. You are very lucky, unbelievably lucky.

I find it a bit manipulative. "take your pills and I will take you back in exchange". Not "let's work on this together". If he loves you, he'd be more... willing. This seems as fair weather relationship.

You need to find way for yourself. Meds, no meds... just a way not to be mess, something that works for you and you can stick with it. But do it for yourself, not for a boyfriend, parents or others... You don't need to medicate yourself to be nice for others... you need to do things for yourself (which my include taking meds) to feel good in your skin.

[cocoabeans]

For me, I hate taking meds because it is a daily reminder of how screwed up I can be but, I'm doing well of meds for now. I have more energy and can feel happy without a nagging sensation like, I'm not really happy just doped up.

Of course, if you're doing terrible off meds, that itself is a daily reminder...perhaps in your case it is more rational to take meds.

And who knows, you may be able to go without one day.

Bipolar does not necessarily mean medication always for the rest of your life.

[Victoria'smom]

No one needs to know about your Dx or your meds., or lack of. If you can't bring yourself to take them but want to talk to a therapist. When I first went to my pdoc I told him I don't want medication because I'm so bad at taking it. After a long discussion (yes discussion , not lecture) I did try a mood stabilizer, that I'm still on. It feels a lot better having a lot of control over what I am on.

My husband apologized for "making" me take meds. He didn't realize how much that hurt our relationship and made it so I didn't speak up when I needed to change meds. Now that he's on a lot of meds he understands more. Find a Pdoc that will listen and a relationship therapist for you guys to help learn how to deal with this illness as a couple. It's not as simple as just take your meds and your fine. Best of luck.