[bluemountains]

My brain is so dull these days, but my mood swings are in check. Thank you drugs.

Do I really want to put up with all of the side effects, though? Memory problems, no sex drive, occasional headaches, no drinking(Oops!), weight gain, no creativity, etc.

And truthfully, I miss the hypomanic state at the very beginning-before the anger and impatience set in. I loved it when I could go outside and appreciate the colors, the sun on my face, and the feel of a breeze. I used to love the smell of burning leave in the fall. I could smell the seasons as each approached. Now, dull, dull, dull-I bore myself!

As I'm sure you've figured out by now, I am questioning the meds. Unfortunately, there is one I like-klonopin-and my pdoc will not prescribe just the one.

Btw, Hamster, I sometimes lie to my pdoc, too. A bad habit, but I have a hangup about the fact that she seems so together and is about 20 years younger than me. Fresh out of medical school. When she questions my drinking habits, I downplay any incidences. She's so young that I wonder if she is even of legal age yet! (just kidding)

Sorry for my rambling, but as usual, I can't hold one thought very long! As a matter of fact, I may have said all of this before and just forgot.

Bluemountains

[Trippin2.0]

They weren't for me, but that's just me. Could you not speak to your pdoc about the dullness? Maybe she has better options for you... s I know what you're going thru,the dullness drove me more nuts than my bipolar...

[Confusedinomicon]

You can try reducing medications and applying coping techniques you learned from therapy.

I was overmedicated for a while and stopped feeling. Now I get light depressions and a little hypo, but it's not out of control like it used to be.

[hamster-bamster]

Bluemountains, I once had a thin young B---H for a p-doc. It is funny - I was remembering her today! I was in a residential treatment facility. She was fresh out of local med school. She told me, putting me on Risperdal, that there would be no weight gain unless I eat more. This is exactly like D. telling me that Zyprexa has no calories. I hate them all. I would not have had that B---H if it were my choice. I encourage you to seek care from someone else, probably older.

[BlackPup]

For me yes. I thank God every day for my meds and that there are meds that help BP. I am watching a 14 year old anorexic girl starve herself and wish there were meds to help her like my meds help me.

[wing]

There are meds out there that don't cause all those side effects. I'm living with a few SE, but I can stand them because I'm stable. I told my doc I wouldn't take anything that would make me gain weight and he helped adjust them.

The feeling a bit dull and apathetic is the only one I struggle with and seem to be getting able to overcome it by sheer wiill.

Guess what I'm saying is, make your doc work WITH you and not just make decisions for you.

[Victoria'smom]

Blue,
I ask what to tell my pdoc when I see him. That was a whole session was spent on talking about why I don't like them. I know I have to take them but that's hard to do. Turns out she doesn't feel I'm stable, MUCH more stable, but not stable. We can't really start therapy until I'm stable but I'm giving her as much info as I can until than.

There's got to be something that can give you less side effects but stability. There are drugs that I felt really helped but my Pdoc wont prescribe me. You really need to discuss it with your T if you have one. T can help you sort out what you need to say to pdoc to be heard better. I think you need to find a new pdoc because you can't be honest with her.

Hamster-bamster that's just messed up.