[hamster-bamster]

This is a counterpart to Bluemountains' thread on stigma.

I see doctors a lot. P-doc. T. Endocrinologist. Upcoming full physical and then a skin exam - I faithfully get those yearly, as I am light-skinned.

So I have to make things up at work, to avoid saying "doctor" all the time. On Wed, when I see my new p-doc, I will have a "dental appointment". In a month, when I see him again, I will "go to an eye doctor". Why? Because other people do that; my boss had a dental appointment today.

When will the day come when I can just quickly email my team "psychiatrist appointment tomorrow 2-4" and no one will bat an eye??!

I work for a progressive company which turned out a hefty participation in San Francisco AIDS Walk, yet I STILL cannot send such an email.

[Mollie May]

I do that at work all the time, too. It's terrible that the stigma of mental illness leads us to feel we have to do that.

[bluemountains]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

This is a counterpart to Bluemountains' thread on stigma.

I see doctors a lot. P-doc. T. Endocrinologist. Upcoming full physical and then a skin exam - I faithfully get those yearly, as I am light-skinned.

So I have to make things up at work, to avoid saying "doctor" all the time. On Wed, when I see my new p-doc, I will have a "dental appointment". In a month, when I see him again, I will "go to an eye doctor". Why? Because other people do that; my boss had a dental appointment today.

When will the day come when I can just quickly email my team "psychiatrist appointment tomorrow 2-4" and no one will bat an eye??!

I work for a progressive company which turned out a hefty participation in San Francisco AIDS Walk, yet I STILL cannot send such an email.

Hey HB,
Your frustrations are one of the reasons I am not working now. My first reason is my family-I need to make them first in my life, but second is being so tired of hiding my diagnosis and blaming my need to leave from work on my son's condition (also has a mood disorder).
I am thankful that I am one of the lucky ones, I have a husband who fortunately has excellent insurance and a great job, so I am able to hide from the bullies when necessary. As you know from my post, though, the bullies aren't always just at work!
The interesting thing is, maybe your boss's dental appointment was for a hidden appointment as well. Check to see if his teeth are sparkling tomorrow.
Bluemountains

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by bluemountains

The interesting thing is, maybe your boss's dental appointment was for a hidden appointment as well. Check to see if his teeth are sparkling tomorrow.
Bluemountains

This is brilliant!

[hamster-bamster]

Sometimes I think that no one would have batted an eye - after all, we have a cross-dresser on the team, and that is OK. But I am afraid. Because mental illness (in San Francisco) is more marginalized than cross-dressing. In other parts of the countries, probably the same, they are probably on the same footing, but not in SF. So I am afraid. And, possibly, my boss is afraid and some geeks are, too - I cannot believe all of those geeks are normal w/o dx; give me a break. So everyone is in hiding until what?

[purpledaisy]

Why not just say "doctor's appointment" without telling what type of doctor?

I always say that.

Once, my young, inexperienced supervisor said, "Oh, no. What's wrong? Oops. I can't even ask that. Never mind."

[BlueInanna]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

Sometimes I think that no one would have batted an eye - after all, we have a cross-dresser on the team, and that is OK. But I am afraid. Because mental illness (in San Francisco) is more marginalized than cross-dressing. In other parts of the countries, probably the same, they are probably on the same footing, but not in SF. So I am afraid. And, possibly, my boss is afraid and some geeks are, too - I cannot believe all of those geeks are normal w/o dx; give me a break. So everyone is in hiding until what?

It is pretty absurd that in our area, should be most progressive, but there is much stigma about mental health. These other moms around here, I tried to tell one that my son is not a monster, he has bp. She said, well it's scarry when you don't know what they're going to do next. I almost went true crazy on her (like - you just insulted my child B****, you gonna see some crazy now!), but I chose to behave. And decided to not share my dx with her either... or any of those women.

But yes I know how hard it is with work, they seem to expect you to do everything after hours, which is impossible. I would probably make up alternative excuses too... unless you get to having a regular scheduled weekly therapy, then you may want to inform the boss.

[cocoabeans]

Never. Well, maybe one day and only if you pass it off as some depression or anxiety. Everyone and their mother has at least tried an SSRI. It's interesting to see how many people will admit to that if you open up, bipolar disorder though? That's serious...something is wrong with you and you must be babied and have a caregiver and if you decide to go unmedicated?!!! End of world.

[Faraway tree]

Originally Posted by cocoabeans

Never. Well, maybe one day and only if you pass it off as some depression or anxiety. Everyone and their mother has at least tried an SSRI. It's interesting to see how many people will admit to that if you open up, bipolar disorder though? That's serious...something is wrong with you and you must be babied and have a caregiver and if you decide to go unmedicated?!!! End of world.

Bahaha I love the "caregiver" thing, it's all over the Internet hey? The other term I like is "manage". Naturally I opened and read the psychiatrist and GP referral to the psychologist... "please see attached referral for treatment and management of this young woman". Pschhhh just you guys try to "manage" me haha. Until the day someone turns up at my house at three am and takes bipolar away from me, I'm pretty sure I manage me. I'm not even that young.

A caregiver would be awesome though. I wonder if they would make me a sandwich?

[fergus]

I was in the hospital this past Christmas. Once I got out I had family doctor, pdoc and therapy appointments. I could call them anything I wanted but there was just too many of them. I went to my family doctor who wrote a nice generic letter saying I had a medical condition that required me seeing medical professionals once per week. I gave that to my boss (before she even requested on) and that seemed to be okay.

[bluemountains]

Originally Posted by fergus

I was in the hospital this past Christmas. Once I got out I had family doctor, pdoc and therapy appointments. I could call them anything I wanted but there was just too many of them. I went to my family doctor who wrote a nice generic letter saying I had a medical condition that required me seeing medical professionals once per week. I gave that to my boss (before she even requested on) and that seemed to be okay.

This was a good way to handle it, fergus.

[BipolaRNurse]

My boss knows I'm bipolar and doesn't give me any grief about it whatsoever. As he puts it, it's a whole lot better for me to see my pdoc every few weeks than to start throwing steak knives at people. He's the first to admit he doesn't understand much about BP, but he's seen me during a manic episode and it wasn't pretty......he simply doesn't believe in treating people like crap, and he also knows that nobody works harder or does it better than I do when I'm well.

[fergus]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

My boss knows I'm bipolar and doesn't give me any grief about it whatsoever. As he puts it, it's a whole lot better for me to see my pdoc every few weeks than to start throwing steak knives at people.

Reminds me of the time I told one of my bosses. He told me he didn't understand anything about bipolar......but didn't that guy that killed his family in the US have bipolar? sigh....he was still a good boss afterwards though

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by purpledaisy

Why not just say "doctor's appointment" without telling what type of doctor?

I always say that.

Once, my young, inexperienced supervisor said, "Oh, no. What's wrong? Oops. I can't even ask that. Never mind."

Well, big thanks to American labor law! In some European countries, the CV still has information that you would never put on an American resume, such as age, marital status. Sure, an American employer can roughly deduce age from the college graduation year, but it takes some work. And what does marital status have to do with employment?

As for always saying "doctor's appointment" - I do not want them to think I am physically frail, either. When I have my skin exam, I will write that I have a skin exam - I do not want them to think that something is physically wrong with me. In reality, and not to jinx it, I am anything but physically frail - all my problems reside within my brain; my body very rarely picks up a virus or gets a stomach upset. So I have an idea: next time I need to see a p-doc, I will write that I am working from home because I've caught a bug (this is what other people do - they catch bugs; I personally am a strong believer in the dirt hypothesis and since I stopped obsessively washing my hands after visiting public places, I do not get sick - I have already posted about it) and then just disappear from IM for a few hours and no one will hold it against me.

But I want to be able to write the word "psychiatrist" just as easily as the word "dermatologist". Is it too much to ask?

I wanted to have Klonopin on hand just in case, so I took an empty Levoxyl (a politically correct thyroid medication) bottle and put Klonopin in it and put it in my purse. Just in case I lose it - my name would not be associated with a notorious benzo drug. I run the paperwork that comes with my antipsychotic prescription through a shredder before recycling; I do not do it with Levoxyl paperwork. Maybe I am paranoid.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by cocoabeans

Never. Well, maybe one day and only if you pass it off as some depression or anxiety. Everyone and their mother has at least tried an SSRI. It's interesting to see how many people will admit to that if you open up, bipolar disorder though? That's serious...something is wrong with you and you must be babied and have a caregiver and if you decide to go unmedicated?!!! End of world.

Yes, depression and anxiety are more out in the open. A friend of mine once recommended a p-doc whom she was seeing for D&A, but no one ever has come forward with "here, this doc for bp, she is great!".

One of the job search sites I am subscribed to recently ran an article about unemployment and depression. So depression is becoming acceptable. Mainstream.

that said... I once tried to get care from the Bipolar Center at Stanford University. Long waitlist, could not get in. By the time they called me, I was already in good hands in private practice, so I did not need them. But why are they so booked up, for months and months out? Because of the demand! So there are all the people sitting in the closet.

[hamster-bamster]

Well, should not be complaining: the stigma of schizophrenia is far worse, in my mind.