[acharlee]

I have never had an episode this bad. I thought I was a mild bipolar because I never had the high energy levels or the racing thoughts, and then it hits me. I can't sit down or keep a single thought going. If I sit down, my legs are shaking and I'm restless. I hate this feeling and don't know how to cope with it. I also suffer from alcoholism and really want to drink. I've been doing pretty good on that, but it's been worse over the last few days. I feel like I'm losing it.

[Blue Poppy]

Hi there,

I am sorry you are struggling right now. I have experienced what you are describing and it is such an uncomfortable state. Do you have access to a pdoc? I have found when I get this way, the only thing that helps is meds - clonazepam. I know it is tempting to drink, but try to refrain, in light of your history. I hope that this settles soon as I can truly empathize with you. Hang in there!

[cocoabeans]

Oh, I get like that. Don't worry about it being uncomfortable or bipolar, good things can come from restlessness. Try laughing in fun voices, let your thoughts race, follow an idea or twelve and call someone up, go out and be silly, get laid! Write a book, cut your hair, learn to play guitar, fine a new job and don't do anything excessively reckless, moderate recklessness leads to experiences you wouldn't otherwise have.

You don't have to worry about losing control, you're already holding yourself back with excessive worry, loosen that grip.

Or attempt to sit still, fight the energy and worry that you're losing it...see where that gets you.

[Victoria'smom]

Exercise, go buy cheep $0.30 kids ceramic painting figures and smash them.

[emgreen]

Originally Posted by cocoabeans

...get laid!

Sage advice from cocoa...

Seriously, though, I sympathize with what you're going through. I've been there many times myself. It's not always easy for me, but I just try to run with the energy & racing thoughts...while trying to be on guard for impulsive actions...like drinking.

I'm a recovering alcoholic, too, & I know having "just one" drink will land me places I don't want to be in a hurry. Call a sponsor...Call your AA Central Offfice...there are also virtual meetings online. I understand that going to a meeting when you're feeling this way is difficult; folks who don't know BP might interpret it as being high...& that we can be in a most organic sense. If you can make it, though, I'd encourage you to go. It always reminds me that in addition to being bipolar, I'm a spectacularly unsuccessful drunk.

Good luck & hang in there. You're not alone in this.

[acharlee]

I try to go with the racing, but can't seem to find anything that interests me when I'm in this state. I get beyond frustrated. I love the idea of getting the ceramics and smashing them! I often want to break my dishes, but don't want to keep replacing them I have been going to meetings, but feel like such an outsider that I don't want to go, but I will. Thanks for the advice.