Do I not have priorities?

Or is it just that the obvious solution is not sometimes obvious to me?

On Sat, I was developing an anxiety attack at night, and also getting very tired. I know that in such situation I need to go to sleep early and wake up well. But I could not go to sleep because I was waiting for a lady to bring cat food for my new foster kitty who does not eat the same food my two cats eat, even though it is the best food on the market. I do not have a car, and food from Amazon takes time to arrive. It did not occur to me to cancel her and ask to come on Sunday. So I took Klonopin. Having taken Klonopin, I could not take Temazepam, my sleep aid - that would have been a dangerous combo. On Klonopin, I slept for three hours only. I spent all Sunday with a headache and virtually unable to sleep. I did not go to work on Monday still with a headache. I did not go to work on Tuesday because I was finally sleeping. Now I am fine and will go to work tomorrow. I have lost several hundred dollars this way (no paid sick time) and several days of my life.

My ex said that I have no priorities, that the kitty would not have died. well, the kitty is at risk of death from a fat liver disease, which is life-threatening, and which occurs when fat cats stop eating. But still, moving the cat food delivery onto Sunday would not have made such a difference. I could have called and said I had a migraine.

So what is it - not having priorities or missing an obvious solution that was right in front of me? I wonder if anxiety played a role; I wonder if you do not see obvious solutions when anxious.

I see it as lack of sleep. You have priorities but were unable to meet them due to lack of sleep. I think your ex maybe being a bit hard on you because he's under a lot of stress right now.

Oh, I still lack sleep. This evening was good, and I went to bed on time with the right amount of Temazepam... and still cannot fall asleep. Something has shattered my equilibrium.

A lot of people go to work sick, with headaches (you didn't mention migraine which I experience as absolutely impossible to do anything with) with out sleep etc.

Personally, I go to work sleep deprived all the time. If I didn't, I wouldn't be able to keep a job. I often have headaches too. Migraines are the only thing that can put me out. But if you're getting by at work with missing so much and can live without the money lost, then you're able to rearrange your priorities.

You have priorities but, they might be in a diff order than your ex who prizes work.

Hi HB,
You have said in the past that your ex-h is a nice person, so I am assuming that he was trying to help you out with his comments. Maybe his delivery struck a nerve with you. On the other hand, you are no longer married, so if you were just looking for a friend to listen to your troubles, tell him this.
I am sorry that you can't sleep. I am on the same cycle myself. The drugs are helping a little bit, but not enough for me. I am going to recommit to exercising. I have let this slide since I have been moving.
Klonopin is one of the drugs I take for sleep along with trazedone. I am sorry that this doesn't help you at more.
One other thing, I view you as a very compassionate person, and perhaps this is why you only saw the cat's needs instead of changing the delivery day.
I hope you get back on a good sleep schedule soon!
Bluemountains

Bluemountains, Thank you, I hope so too! Oh, and I did take Trazodone that night, 2 pills, and it did not work a bit. In the past I slept like a baby on it. Isn't it funny how these drugs lose effectiveness.

Cocoabeans, 3 hours is unthinkable for me to go to work. Today I have had something like 5 hours which is insufficient but I will go. And the headache was absolutely debilitating, so there would not be anything helpful that I could do at work. I would have been at risk of messing things up, which is much worse than not showing up at all.

He said it back on Sunday, before I skipped work. He prizes my health and believes I should do the same.

I don't think it's a lack of priorities. I think it's a judgement and decision making issue caused by your state of mind at the time. You already said you were developing an anxiety attack. When I have attacks it clouds my judgement a great deal. If something is on my mind I have to have it completed before I can move on to the next things, and I won't be able to sleep at all.

This is one thing I think people do not understand about anxiety, bipolar, and depression. It's hard to think when your mind is jumbled up. So you get focused on one thing that makes sense. In this instance, it was cat food for you sick kitty, (even if it was not the cause of your anxiety,) and you would not have been able to think about rescheduling it at all, which is why you didn't. This type of situation happens to me all the time.

I think this is spot on. My mind became narrow and overly focused on the catfood.

Exactly! That is the perfect description. You're not alone, Hamster.

It is just so sad because a lot of cat food can be purchased for the money we lost by my not going to work. Oh well!