[Trippin2.0]

Weird space today... Woke up after a terrible night of almost sleep. Jordan 'slept' next to me... Screaming, yelling at someone, kicking of the blanket, kicking me like her life depended on it, woke my mom and brother. So no, i didnt really sleep... Was kinda emo when I woke up, my brother out of the blue, offered to buy me a phone, said I've always been generous with him. I told him to use his money on himself cos everybody dissapoints me. I dont want to go to the party, but upset that I dont have company.

[Trippin2.0]

Cant blame Jordan's antics, she's been doing that for 3yrs, just weirded out today. Sister came to visit, enjoyed it even tho I wasnt feeling sociable. Now, gary and his friends are leaving for the party, instead of going along, I'm sulking in my room at the thought of being alone and bored for the night. I'm being stupid, maybe I should sleep it off, but its not even 7pm... Just dont want to be anywhere... Idk if that makes sense, but thats how it is...Ok, should stop spewing senseless meaningless crap...

[Trippin2.0]

I fkn hate timezones...

[Trippin2.0]

Sulking angrily that I'm alone and bored... Wish I had pills to knock me the fk out, so I can wake up when this is over. That, would put a smile on dial... Oh well

[hamster-bamster]

I did not understand why you declined the offer of the phone. What would have made you disappointed had he bought you a phone? You wrote many times on this board that you have a pre-historic phone - would not it have been nice to upgrade?

i'm listening!

weirded out too am I.

have not spoken for about three days to anybody not even to myself.

let the neighbours kitten in they don't feed it much or love it one little bit I always let it in before when it was tiny and when it was freezing outside but it's not my pet so stopped letting it in and had to be rude to the poor thing. it keeps coming back!....I spoke to it....said "I guess you really like me" ....seemed to calm me down just hearing the words?

I wish I had a pet ...I got a jumping spider ....thats about it!

[Trippin2.0]

Hammy, idk. He also asked and my response was that he'd go to the shop with good intentions and get home with a new laptop for himself instead. Just makes way more sense and seems realistic to me... Jamesy, thanks for listening, dont think I have much else to say. Just sad that I'm alone and bored on a Saturday night, but have no desire to change that... Maybe my mom was right, maybe I just like being miserable.

is ok....

I can listen to silence better than sounds..
bit quiet too yep...me
I'm sorry you got the sads Lia....I think I know what mum means...? but it's much less 'like'...than a 'used to' feelin' maybe?

is ok

[Victoria'smom]

go to bed earlier tonight and have a better day tomorrow.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

go to bed earlier tonight and have a better day tomorrow.

I find that that is always the best advice - if you can, of course.

[~Christina]

Trippin

I seriously doubt " you want be miserable" I have been in a similar position as you are in.. For ME it was issues I had/have with selfworth and wondering why anyone would want to do anything nice for ME .. It can be a vicious cycle.

Try not to overthink things easier said than done of course . I hope that since you didnt go out that you are home and found a way to Treat yourself to something that makes you happy .. For me recently its been icecream Time to get that guilty pleasure under control LOL

Just be kind to yourself because yes YOU deserve it.

[Trippin2.0]

Christina got it right. I cannot fathom anybody doing something so big and kind for me. I did sleep, alot. Still dont want company, hiding in my room for nearly 24hrs now...

you are an incredible girl...woman....person....spirit

...and life is the mystery agony and beautiful

it's gonna work out....you be ok

[Trippin2.0]

Managed to be in my daughter and brother's company for a few hours without being or feeling unpleasant... Nearly 11pm now, and still stuck in the twilight zone... I'm dreading work tomorrow, but I'm hoping it will do me good to get out of my own head for 8hrs, even if it means dealing with unpleasent clients... Ugh. Idk why I'm even complaining, acting like a spoilt brat I guess... I'll be ok, I'm a ball and I always bounce back. So there's always that...Thanks for the support guys, its invaluable