...just when I thought I discovered the limits of illness as replays in my memories from day to day!

a new experience arrives...accumulating...mocking all my attempts to fight it away.

I'm wondering it's laziness or 'symptom exemption' syndrome.

...where I feel I suffered enough so surely I can drop my guard there must be a limit surely?....an end to the madness.

and still be alive!

it's been such a damn challenge for as long as I choose to forget and fail for as long as I can remember and I'm sure recent comforts have weakened me beyond where those marvelous instincts are effective...

and these are just the very basic comforts...a place to call home

or am I really in the personal 'dark ages?'

wanting to keep the eyes shut tight...until the 'me' I prefer comes back.

this one can make things right can be trusted ...

the shape I'm in now is pure depression and it's eroding my spirit

[faerie_moon_x]

Depression is like the dark ages. Or it's just a darkness. You can't see passed it. It's like a veil over you that clouds the mind and wreaks havoc on the soul.

[manic most days]

I hear you!! Never ending......

I'm the toughest ****** I know, life has handed me some shi**y cards, don't allow urself to be a victim, learn the lesson at hand, pick urself back up, brush urself off and tell life it hits like a ******!!!! What else can you do?

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

Depression is like the dark ages. Or it's just a darkness. You can't see passed it. It's like a veil over you that clouds the mind and wreaks havoc on the soul.

yes...it is present and past combined...the future gets left out, apart from one thats worse than the past

Originally Posted by manic most days

I hear you!! Never ending......

I'm the toughest ****** I know, life has handed me some shi**y cards, don't allow urself to be a victim, learn the lesson at hand, pick urself back up, brush urself off and tell life it hits like a ******!!!! What else can you do?

...and, sometimes especially these days I wonder what the hell I'm brushing off? and whats left behind?

it used to be so easy to wipe it all away but some crap just leaves stains and it's like a really big hint to 'change' how I look at the 'crap'....

it's just a bit tricky bein' two opposite people
one helps and the other doesn't and they both gotta live in the same head!

[BlueInanna]

both of the opposite people may actually want the same thing for you, just go about different ways of "helping" you.

and both of the people may be like a circle of gray, that you have separated out into black and white like yin and yang, just to make sense of it.

no don't want to be victim too deep, but it's ok to get hurt, and say, damn that ****in hurt! ouch!! or cry if you need to. have to process the hurt somehow, or it gets stuffed and comes back who knows when. then it's confusion, like why am i hurting, am i some kind of pansy ***, what the ****? leads to self-doubt, depression, even harder place to process emotions from.

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

both of the opposite people may actually want the same thing for you, just go about different ways of "helping" you.

and both of the people may be like a circle of gray, that you have separated out into black and white like yin and yang, just to make sense of it.

no don't want to be victim too deep, but it's ok to get hurt, and say, damn that ****in hurt! ouch!! or cry if you need to. have to process the hurt somehow, or it gets stuffed and comes back who knows when. then it's confusion, like why am i hurting, am i some kind of pansy ***, what the ****? leads to self-doubt, depression, even harder place to process emotions from.

now thats really somethin' C...!

thankyou...

thats kinda tough and cool...very cool