ok this is gonna be weird....but whats new?

....I consider my brain to be like a library ....packed to the walls and the roof with books.

weird thing is there be no pictures or titles or anything on the covers of any of these books but anyhow some lunatic librarian twisted skillful has them neat and stacked and weirdo librarian!..."shoosh keep it down in here!"....."damn it!"



"don't want a damn book falling on your damn head now?!"



tried to lose my library card....don't want to read anymore...
but I'm a freaking ....


was about to go to sleep maybe likely and this song came over the music channel on the tv and ....it was a physical pain....something wonderful that was gone forever but the recall was astounding



now I gotta stay up to haunt my own mental library to find if i can put a title on the crap I'm bein' forced to read...coulda' turned it off...

but I wanted it....and want even more to classify it

or to at least try and lock the feelings away.......because they are scary



or just experience them?...go with the flow



....down the cosmic rabbit hole

[Clinte89]

memories are painful I agree, the good ones can be painful as I have found that you look back and become immersed in time the visual bits and pieces of the memory the smells sounds and words and if it was a good time I in particular miss the good times when things where easy and everyday was not plagued by these reoccurring issues in my head the over abundance of useless and often painful emotions. I think memories are powerful because they bring back either good or bad times and I find good times are more crippling than the bad times.

[Setso]

Daheck I just read...??

Uh yeah memories can be trip! Hate when stupid things I've done in the past make me feel bad,
But I think it's all a learning experience and helps us grow.

It's because you have an artist's mind. Sensitivity is incredible in the artist. It will
mellow as you age.

Gen

Originally Posted by genetic

It's because you have an artist's mind. Sensitivity is incredible in the artist. It will
mellow as you age.

Gen

you know what gen...

my family and even past family have all been painters...artists

I watched this incredible story the other day about Lucian Freud....the Grandson of the famous Sigmond Freud...Mental genius.

Lucian was in some kind of agony and expressed himself on canvas...brilliant artist

descended into madness the more he achieved....mellowed out....

filthy rich....holding his tired head in his hands

I remember these words he spoke about the famous Sigmond! his grandfather

said..."he is boring!"

...it's a personal blitz in this delicate world fragile and monstrous.

just gotta have some confidence to trust the memories...the stimulation inside ....the random phantoms

it's who we are I guess...

Originally Posted by dubblemonkey

you know what gen...

my family and even past family have all been painters...artists

I watched this incredible story the other day about Lucian Freud....the Grandson of the famous Sigmond Freud...Mental genius.

Lucian was in some kind of agony and expressed himself on canvas...brilliant artist

descended into madness the more he achieved....mellowed out....

filthy rich....holding his tired head in his hands

I remember these words he spoke about the famous Sigmond! his grandfather

said..."he is boring!"

...it's a personal blitz in this delicate world fragile and monstrous.

just gotta have some confidence to trust the memories...the stimulation inside ....the random phantoms

it's who we are I guess...

_________________________________
Yep. And it's why you feel as though you are not from this world.
The "normal" (though there's no such meaning) never reaches the point
of that kind of sensitivity. It's strange to that fellow, but very understandable to the one sensitive to beauty and form.

You've got it. That's all I know to say.

Gen

you really helped me out just now gen.

thankyou

I want to hurry up absurd get old really old like 900 years old by next week

live inside a permanent birthday present for a few days ....

unwrapped all mellow real soon

remember nothing

[roads]

Originally Posted by dubblemonkey

ok this is gonna be weird....but whats new?

....I consider my brain to be like a library ....packed to the walls and the roof with books.

weird thing is there be no pictures or titles or anything on the covers of any of these books but anyhow some lunatic librarian twisted skillful has them neat and stacked and weirdo librarian!..."shoosh keep it down in here!"....."damn it!"

"don't want a damn book falling on your damn head now?!"

what you've described isn't a library so much as a warehouse, the items sound more like boxes than books!


tried to lose my library card....don't want to read anymore...
but I'm a freaking .... [bookworm]

was about to go to sleep maybe likely and this song came over the music channel on the tv and ....it was a physical pain....something wonderful that was gone forever but the recall was astounding

the ghost of Today's Music came
but music from your yesterday that came alive and brought
your life and others' from that time and others' places, with them
"something wonderful that was gone forever" & now you want it back
but--irretrievably--it's lost ...
NO, JAMES! It was found, it was yours, it was a gift ...
but of short duration--& and to be embraced, not labeled, not locked down.
It was a gift, James, to feel the feeling again.
Go with the flow. *hugs galore *


now I gotta stay up to haunt my own mental library to find if i can put a title on the crap I'm bein' forced to read...coulda' turned it off...
i don't think you need to sort through or re-read any of this! its been packed away in unlabeled boxes ... you are done with it. they are now crumbling away with time, becoming indistinguishable from each other--and nothing to be scared of ...
but I wanted it....and want even more to classify it

or to at least try and lock the feelings away.......because they are scary


or just experience them?...go with the flow

Yes, James, experience them! go with the flow! feel!!
Even if it lasts only for the few moments of a dream ... it's something wonderful that was

....down the cosmic rabbit hole

great to see you back Roadie....

green is my favourite colour too

thankyou for your amazing wisdom...

what you say is so true .....they will not leave me....these overwhelming memories...

even so jumbled ...and deliberately...cos they hurt so bad..!

guess ...just gotta'...damn it's hard!....but gotta trust I let them in to begin with...

these are the things that keep me alive and when my reflection looks crap....maybe somethin' a glint in the eye just keeps me going.

cos I seen things that meant enough before

[Clinte89]

That was well analyzed. And I agree with you. Memories are important painful part of life though. Without them I would be back to my old tricks. So however hurtful I feel they are needed boxes in our warehouse.