Scared and depressed

In my current situation I think I am cycling a bit fast (like I don't already...) but, I have a whole new wall that I crash into. And it's that I'm really scared.

Like me and my husband will be doing something really fun and laughing and hugging and suddenly it comes into my mind "just think in a few months I might be dying in the hospital with sepsis." And I just start crying uncontrollably. Not like bawling and sobbing. Like just tears running down my face and I can't stop them. I try to logic them away. I try to say that's not true, I'll be fine. But it won't stop and I start to feel panicked, like everything has been taken away from me.

I feel like a ghost already walking around. I think my husband is really scared too, but he doesn't say so. We don't know what to do. It's that moment you realize you have to jump out into the air and not know if there's really an invisible bridge, or you're just going to fall....

I know exactly what your talking about. I have felt this way so many times. Like a rollercoaster you just cant get off of. You never know if your going to laugh or cry from one minute to the next. Its horrible. Im so sorry you are feeling these out of control emotions right now. Just know it does get better. The ride does eventually stop and you will get off.

Sorry your feeling so badly I understand the fear of the visions or dreams you may be having as I have things like that and hey can be crippling. But keep your head up this will pass for you shortly I hope.

One of the most helpful things my T told me was to dispute every thought that comes into my head. Is it true? Is it relevant right now, or a distraction? Is it helpful, or useful, etc. I hope this helps you. Even a little.

you have so much going on dhx you are my hero, i wish i could help more somehow. help you with kids or cleaning or something. i'm great at cleaning friends' houses, can't clean my own though. just know you are so loved, you're amazing.

Thanks Blue! Except that you are the one having so much going on and you are my hero. I have no idea how you deal with some of the stuff you have some days.

If I get that anywhere door you can come clean my house.

Thanks everyone! I am trying so hard to get rid of these stupid thoughts. They just run me over. They are like intrusive thoughts but not exactly. I will try that technique about the thoughts canacrip. Thank you!

Dark heart,
I am so sorry you are going thru all this insane illogical mess.

I feel the same way sometimes intrusive thoughts I think I'm going to drop dead at any time but yet I'm healthy except for mi and thyroid but I feel for u it causes so much anxiety hugs

Hi Darkheart,
Before my latest meds, I would get similar feelings and then have a panic attack. I'm not sure if it is the ADs or the lamictal that control these thoughts, but I'm much better. I hope that your cycling slows down, I know how awful this can be, especially when trying to keep everything in check at home.
Bluemountains

hang in there dark

Thanks everyone. I feel like I'm just spinning really fast inside my head. I'm sure it will stop because it always does. It just is a matter of when.