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#1
Oct 04, 2012, 08:07 PM
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I'm mad , I'm sad , I'm pissed , I'm in a rage, I'm suicidal,I'm wanting to self harm, I want to slap the hell out of my husband, I'm tired of always feeling like a damn burden, I'm tired of having to explain to people that have no damn clue that I have 2 illnesses that cant be see , I'm Tired of Panic and Anxiety daily that will soon blow me into a million pieces , I'm tired of my brain that is incapable of slowing down , The constant overthinking of evey single thought that has been in my head or soon will or questioing in my mind every damn comment my husband makes or friends or the entire world and the stupid *** cashier at walmart . Better add sick of the parania also , I'm tired of the visual hallucination and the auditory hallucinations..
Blah.
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
 Anika., Anonymous32894, Anonymous32912, Anonymous45023, Anonymous49448, BlueInanna, BNLsMOM, greylove, LostMom3, Moose72, moremi
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#2
Oct 04, 2012, 08:23 PM
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I'm tired with you Christina...
this is one of them times and probably should be all the times ....when just comfort and comfort only is what I have for you.   gently close your eyes take a deep breath and know that you are loved.... always you are a beautiful woman ....person....human being 
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| ~Christina
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 ~Christina
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#3
Oct 04, 2012, 08:30 PM
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 So sorry Christina. Life does just freakin suck sometimes. I am there with you, am feeling rather pissed today too, dumfounded, tired.. Monkey is right, close your eyes and breath, scream, shout, throw something outside ( no not your husband  ) and just let it come, but make sure you let it go. you know I love ya lots and lots!
__________________
Ad Infinitum This living, this living, this living..was always a project of mine  |
| ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#4
Oct 04, 2012, 08:52 PM
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the pain can drift.....
 float away...  like a bubble...  you just a little girl Christina sweetheart..  it aint your fault lv, dm |
| ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#5
Oct 04, 2012, 08:54 PM
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Hugs!
I'm tired of people thinking they can fix you in a 5 minute conversation with a couple no-meds articles online. People suck.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 6 mg  Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#6
Oct 04, 2012, 08:55 PM
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I'm sorry you are feeling so crappy!!
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 6 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
| ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#7
Oct 04, 2012, 09:15 PM
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Sorry things are sucky.
__________________
Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
| ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#8
Oct 04, 2012, 09:45 PM
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Thanks everyone . Sorry I went off on a rant from hell.
*** possible trigger*** Things need to improve like by tomorrow or I'm just checking out of this ridiculous thing called life. I am just done.
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
| Anika.
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#9
Oct 04, 2012, 09:51 PM
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Quote:
lets just stay here in today Christina yep....tomorrow is an a.shole! lets just sit back and watch it make a **** of itself! my heart won't recover if you check out! this life is hardest on the angels who don't really belong.... my heart won't recover if tomorrow has it's way with you baby.
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| ~Christina
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| Anika., treehugger727
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#10
Oct 04, 2012, 09:54 PM
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Christina, tomorrow is only tomorrow. Can you call someone now. I know you are tired and worn out, and I don't blame you, you got every reason to be.
But I am really worried, can you go somewhere now. safe. Please be safe. You deserve so much more than any of this or that. but keep yourself safe, you are one of the best people I know. Can't be there with you, but you Know if I could I would be in a heartbeat or half. .................. please be safe Christina just stay here for now, we will think about tomorrow tomorrow. You are one of my most charished friends, I don't want to see you hurt so bad.
__________________
Ad Infinitum This living, this living, this living..was always a project of mine |
| ~Christina
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#11
Oct 04, 2012, 10:02 PM
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Lots and lots of Christina. That would make us beyond sad. It is so very frustrating. And it seems that Frustrating Things have a proclivity for bunching up. Why? I dunno. To gain superpowers or something. Or maybe they are like an animal that puffs its fur or feathers out to present itself as indominatable. Turns out they aren't, but they sure look that way when they're doing it. Don't know if that made sense. It came to mind for some reason. Btw, rant away. No apology necessary.  And yes, above all, stay safe. |
| Anika.
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#12
Oct 04, 2012, 10:23 PM
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Quote:
well worded... "indomitable"....what a word! |
| ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#13
Oct 04, 2012, 11:36 PM
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Christina, focus on now. Tomorrow is future Christina's problem, and we'll be here for her when she arrives
s I've always admired your resillience and strength, and I KNOW you can tap into it again, cos you're a born fighter! So sorry things have gotten so bad, wish I could sit with you, stroke your head, and transfer ALL you deal with into my body. I'd carry it for you in a heartbeat hun... It saddens me that I cant... Hang in there, and PLEASE stay safe
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| Anonymous32912, ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#14
Oct 05, 2012, 01:36 AM
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I like it when others rant. It's like a road sign that says "You are entering the Right Place". Hope you feel better!
__________________
Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person - Mark Twain |
| ~Christina
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#15
Oct 05, 2012, 01:48 AM
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oh honey, you've had too much, for so long. i care about you so dearly, you are an awesome woman, caring friend. so so loved, i know you are in horrible pain and this is not fair, not ok. please keep fighting. vent and rant all you want to us, we are your friends and we love you, beautiful lady.
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| Anonymous32912, ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#16
Oct 05, 2012, 08:22 AM
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Christina, are you safe? I am worried about you. You are loved and valued and though it doesn't seem like it now, things do get better. Fight.
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| ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#17
Oct 05, 2012, 09:03 AM
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Checking in with you today! It is now tomorrow! Vent! Tell us how you are doing! Please!
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| ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#18
Oct 05, 2012, 10:32 AM
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Hoping you checkin with us today, I hope you are safe Christina..
So much love to you, healing thoughts... I think any of us here would take your pain if we could, love you tons.
__________________
Ad Infinitum This living, this living, this living..was always a project of mine |
| ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#19
Oct 05, 2012, 02:25 PM
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Yes, hon. Been thinking of, sending good thoughts and hoping for you.
How are you doing?
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| ~Christina
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#20
Oct 05, 2012, 10:43 PM
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Hey everyone , Thank you all for the unbelievable words of support love and comfort! I have sat here crying after reading it all . I'm sorry I havent been on the computer today.. I pretty much self medicated with xanax . Just enough to zone me out some .. I did do some pretty deep cutting after my xanax wore up ..I probably should have taken a few more instead of picking up my razor..Ugh ! I cant honestly say I feel much better .. I know all this crap runs in cycles I'm just hoping I can hold on until this one passes. Thank you all again ... I have no idea how I would function if it wasn't for all the love and support I get here.
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
| Anika., Anonymous45023
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| Anika.
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#21
Oct 05, 2012, 10:49 PM
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Hope your doing well. Or at least better. That is alot of stuff going on and its rough stuff but you can make it and do well. Im sure of it. Stay strong.
__________________
“When everything seem to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it ....” ― Henry Ford lamictal 200mg, synthroid 75 mcg, Testosterone injections thanks to lithium causing thyroid problems |
| ~Christina
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| ~Christina
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#22
Oct 06, 2012, 12:28 AM
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nice to see you Christina!! xoxo
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#23
Oct 06, 2012, 12:43 AM
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Aww Christina I was out, I am soo glad you checked in. I am, pretty worrying..
Do you think and like I really don't mention this lightly, but do you think maybe you need to go somewhere safe till this comes down a notch. I know you probably despise that idea, I know. I just don't want anything to happen to you intentional or accidental. Maybe time to consider something.. Please stay strong and keep checking in k, your a fighter, you can fight through this one...
__________________
Ad Infinitum This living, this living, this living..was always a project of mine |
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#24
Oct 06, 2012, 01:17 AM
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__________________
Ad Infinitum This living, this living, this living..was always a project of mine |
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#25
Oct 06, 2012, 01:37 AM
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__________________
Ad Infinitum This living, this living, this living..was always a project of mine |
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