Trying to reach out

I was diagnosed with Bipolar in May of 2012. I am really struggling with this diagnosis. We tried to just up my depression med at first and I had been on depression meds for a few years. I was getting no where other than more and more moody. I started to really snap over the smallest things. Was finally put on Neurontin and this was causing me to have seizures and every time I called they said to just hold out and give the med some time. So I finally got back into PDOC and he took me off of the high dose of Neurontin, and put me on Geodon. I am on a small dose for now to see if I get any big side effects of the med. since I tend to get some really rare side effects when I get them. So right now I am very moody. I am in tears a lot, do not want to move. My PDOC said we will up it in a few weeks until we get to a stable dose.

Then I was recently told that I am annoying and this has made me fearful of posting and asking for support. I am so afraid of bothering people or hurting others.

My family does not believe in Bipolar or in treatments. So to say the least I am fighting this on my own.

I do have a DBSA support group I go to though so that is helpful.

My questions to people are as follows:

1) what are some ways to help people around you understand that you really are trying to keep stable even though you tend to get moody?

2) I have some friends that want to support me though this all and do what they can to help, What are some suggesting people have for them, or things people have done for you that has helped you? Or is there something people wish friends would help with?

3) Any tips on ways to tell youself that things will get better and that in time the med change will help? I feel like giving up because this has my emotions a mess.

THanks for listening, I probably have a million other questions. I know no one here is a professional, but just looking for friendly responses that may have helped others. Thanks.

Doll

1. For me, people either accept it or they get out of my way. I'm not out to push my dx on anyone, so I don't tell everyone. the one's that I have, have been more than cool about it but I guess if they weren't then I just would not be around them. This includes my parents and various other members of my family as well.

2. Just sit with me and listen, I would tell them. When I am up, enjoy the times you have with me, and when I am down, don't try to fix me. Just hang out with me, sit with me and just accept me. Soon enough I will be normal or up again and we can share those good times then, but with me, the good comes with the bad so accept me or please get out of my way... I would say is the best advice I can come up with.

3. Not good at answering this one. I would lie to myself, fool myself and just plain believe ironic, non common sense things to get me by until I feel better. Kind of like I am doing right now. Just have to make it till tonight I am telling myself now. Just have to not worry about the next hour or the next day, just worry about now cuz that's enough worry and anxiety that I can handle for the moment. So I guess I have a selective memory and foresight. it helps, but then again, when I am feeling this way I feel desperate for anything, something and or someone so nothing really helps. change. I crave change when I feel this way. something's got to give. it really does. I would change things, things that don't really need changing just to momentarily feel better. I wish you luck on this, cuz i know that nothing I can say will take away the anxiety and the anger that you must be feeling.

Some of the best help I've gotten is to be loved and accepted despite feeling not myself and suffering. Find friends like this. The ones who don't love you when you're sick aren't really worth it.