[Moose72]

I took a shower talked to friend's put clean clothes on put the heating pad on took Ativan...,, still anxious! :-/

[~Christina]

Hope you can get settled down soon

[Moose72]

Thanks more. I have important things to do tomorrow too.

[~Christina]

Good Luck

[Moose72]

Yeah. I set two alarms.

[BlueInanna]

hope you're ok Moose xoxo

[Moose72]

Woke up and still anxious. Phooey

[Anika.]

Aww Moose, do you have any calming teas, maybe a hot bath. Breathing exercises? I hope you can find some relief. And maybe some more sleep.

[Moose72]

I'm worried I won't get my medicaid renewed. Plus "he" and I had sex today and I worry how it will affect him. He's quite a mess.

[Anika.]

Ohh Moose, don't worry too much about "him" right now. He can and will take care of himself. Focus on you right now, worrying won't change anything either right. Ha yes I know I say that like I am the worry slayer master, and I am not.

Medicade is a big deal, but why not try to send out some positive reinforcements that your medicade WILL go through.

I heard this guy one time talk about a Mark Twain quote "I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened." Meaning we worry and think up all these possible bad things that could or might happen, and a lot of the time they never do happen they way we worry about, or ever at all.

[Moose72]

Thanks for that. I set two alarms to get me up tomorrow to get things done. I have lots that needs doing but I can never get myself to do a great deal of it. Just very important stuff and the rest is crap. Like I can do laundry and dishes but I can't straighten my room or my car. I need to get my blood checked tomorrow and hopefully see my caseworker about Medicaid renewal.Cand call pdoc about med dose changes.

[BlueInanna]

Originally Posted by Anika.

Ohh Moose, don't worry too much about "him" right now. He can and will take care of himself. Focus on you right now, worrying won't change anything either right. Ha yes I know I say that like I am the worry slayer master, and I am not.

Medicade is a big deal, but why not try to send out some positive reinforcements that your medicade WILL go through.

I heard this guy one time talk about a Mark Twain quote "I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened." Meaning we worry and think up all these possible bad things that could or might happen, and a lot of the time they never do happen they way we worry about, or ever at all.

F.ck "him" ... Oh snap you already did! lol - must've been nice but yea i understand there could be some aftermath and confusing feelings. i just tried to sleep, but i'm back up, the moonlight is too much for me.

i'm sending good vibes your way too for your medicaid to go through.

good quote Anika, i love it. only here do i find people who worry as much as I do, and it is tormenting what we do to ourselves with worry. but i have no magic key to stop it. relaxing things like tea, meditation, sex lol, those things seem to help a bit.

[Anika.]

I got a lot to do tomorrow too Moose, some important stuff, so I'll try to put the worry aside with you, and tackle what we need to in the present moment, tomorrow when we need to pe present and do. And I will.. and hope you will try to get a good sleep, and have peaceful kind thoughts towards yourself.

[Moose72]

Ooh buttons seem big on my iPod here. Happens so etr that things look big or more 3D

[Anika.]

Aww you too Blue, crap. Well at least we are all in good company.

[Moose72]

I've been having more vivid dreams lately too. Probably the doubled Zyprexa.

[Anika.]

Just made myself some valerian tea, tastes soo nasty, But better than the liquid iron I have been swallowing. So kinda a perk.

ohh hmm maybe. When I was on zyprexa I didn't remember any dreams. I could see that with some people tho. I hardly ever remember dreams unless they are night terrors or mares.

[Moose72]

Bed sure is warm. Still anxious and buttons still big and 3D.

Maybe that Alice in wonderland effect!

I keep thinking lately that bp really is a disability. Bi can't trust my brain sometimes at all.

[BlueInanna]

I took benadryl and a clonopin... no sleepy yet. The moonlight on the trees looks awesome, it's all blueish out there. i've got to get up at 7am, that part won't be fun. you guys do too, or earlier, right - to get kids to school? do you deal ok in the mornings? i do not, not my thing.

[Anika.]

I do have alice in wonderland syndrome. Not kidding. It's the weirdest thing ever. But it's strange yet pleasurable and uncomfortable all at the same time. I used to think it was normal, but everyone I asked had no idea, then I thought it was dissociating till I talked to my old pdoc and gp about it. It is way less frequent then when I was a child.

They told me it was either a painless migraine type thing, or a type of convulsiveless seizure, I have no real idea tho.

Everything seems to get very large and soft, puffy almost, and all my senses sight, sound, touch, taste even all take on this feeling. It's so hard to describe, when it is happening it's like trance like almost, I cannot pay attention to anything except my senses and environment. Walking becomes quite hard because I am not sure where the ground is, nor my body.

[Anika.]

I have to get up at 7 also, but it's only 11:30 here, although I am starting to struggle with sleep again. I am a morning person... no I am an awake person I just like being awake.

Hope you get to sleep soon Blue, and maybe morning will not be too bad hopefully.

[BlueInanna]

i didn't know about alice in wonderland syndrome, will do a search on it. sounds like something i would have haha.

[Anika.]

It's weird Blue, I always feellike I am almost dreaming while I am not, uggh I wish there was a good way to describe it, I added a bit of a description in my post above.

[BlueInanna]

i can relate to the dreamlike feeling. and just reading about it, i do have sensations sometimes of my legs being very long, i'll have to read more about this one. they are saying it's common, and more common at night. it's interesting.

[cybermember]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I took a shower talked to friend's put clean clothes on put the heating pad on took Ativan...,, still anxious! :-/

I've found for me Ativan doesn't do squat for my anxiety and didn't even make me feel drowsy, but Klonopin on the other hand makes me all Zen-like as well as tired so at least I can get some rest from sleepless nights.

Have you tried anything other than Ativan for your anxiety?