I think I have finally come down. -_-

I have been hypomanic all week, and it looks like it is ending now *thinks yay in a facetious tone* I am soooo irritated with everything that happens, and don't want to talk to anyone at my house, or my friends even. I even get pissed at a song when it comes on. I started getting all depressed earlier today, I honestly wasn't expecting it to happen at all. Hopefully this won't be as bad as the last depressive phase, I seriously cried every day. I am also wondering how longs it's gonna last, I hope not too long, I never want to do anything when I am depressed. The down side is that my depressive phases generally last longer than my hypomanic ones, so I don't expect anything positive. I am suddenly realizing, again, how crappy school is. Please comment telling me if you can relate to this right now, also I just want to hear from some people.
P.S. since this current depressive phase has started, I think I have has a few brief mixed periods.

Hello iluvdukie1,

You seem to have ups and downs at this moment, is it true?

Did you ever talk to your pdoc about that?

Maybe your medication should be ajusted.

Anyways, I wish you the best!

It is true, I have a lot of ups and downs. I think I am actually in another mixed kind of state, I feel restless and irritable and have racing thoughts. I am also having trouble concentrating on just one thing, my thoughts keep wondering. I am also angry and have anxiety at the moment, which is making me slightly depressed. But no, I haven't talked to anyone about it. I really need to though.

What emotions are you the most feeling?
What is racing thoughts?
What makes you angry and anxious?
Like you said, you really need to talk about that.

Yes what's racing in your mind right now. Many things? One specific thing setting you off??

Well, right now I keep thinking about how I have to do some speeches at the end of the year, which I hate, I keep thinking about having to talk to my one friend tomorrow, I keep thinking about my grades, I also keep thinking about some of my past phases. I was constantly thinking about wanting to make hot chocolate, but that thought stopped since I went and made some for me and my sister. I keep thinking just about current situations and it keeps switching back and forth between the things I stated above. Also, half of the angry, and racing, in general, thoughts I am having are coming from watching tv. Earlier before I checked my post, I was wondering if anybody was commenting, so that was on my mind a lot. I am mainly feeling energetic and upbeat right now, but when made the post earlier, I was mainly angry and irritated. And not really about anything specific, just everything. My moods swing a lot.

Are you in school?
If yes, by the way, I wish you a lot of succeed.
What bothers you the most in talking to your friend tommorow?
What makes you think about your grades? Perfection?
What are your past phases?
What makes you angry when you watch the tv?

Yeah I am in school, and thank you very much. And what bothers me the most about talking to my friend is that I really don't enjoy talking about what she likes to, and she also usually has me do stuff I do really want to. For example, she might have me text someone. And about the grades, it isn't necessarily perfection, it just feels really good to do well. Also, I feel like my friends won't really accept me as much if I don't do well. Also, people tend to look at you in a better way if you are smart. Lastly, it will help me later in my future. And I just got out of my most hypomanic phase, which I might still be in but I don't know yet, and preceding that one, I had my lowest depression. I cried multiple times a day, I didn't want to talk to anyone, I was completely stressed out about not being able to get school work done in time, and I just didn't know how much longer I could take the constant sadness and anxiety. But then I became hypomanic. And what makes me angry when watching tv is this one character, she completely destroys my favorite one later in the series (I have watched it multiple times) and she was coming back into the plot in the episode I was watching. Thank you for letting me talk to you, I really appreciate it!

You are welcome!
For your friend, did you always talk about what she likes or did you ever talk about what YOU like? Maybe you should tell her that talking about you is good as talking about her. For your grades, what counts the most is that you do your best and you pass, not having super score.
If your friends don't accept you because of your grades, they are not real friends. You are more than a grade! It helps you to have better grades, that's right, but if you have correct grades, that doesn't mean that you cannot do something of your life. Being in time at school is always a stressor.

I do sometimes get to talk about what I want to, but when I do, they don't seem to care all that much. My friends seem to be a bit self centered, that's how it has always been. At times, it is good because when I am depressed I never have much to say any way. But at other times, I hate it cause I want to talk a bunch but they really won't listen all that much. This week however, they seem to be doing a bit better, which really helped me through the week considering I was extra talkative. And you are completely correct about the whole grades thing. You give such good advice! Do you happen to have Yahoo messenger, or any way I could communicate with you. You seem like you would be a very kind and trustworthy person I could tell my problems to. I really don't trust my friends and family with that kind of stuff, when I do, they make a big deal out of it.

For your friend, like I said, maybe by telling him correctly, he will understand you and be less self-centered. At certain times, it must be difficult for you to talk to them because of that. I don't have yahoo, but I have hotmail. If you don't have hotmail, you can always do me a private message on this forum and I will always be here to help you.
And I understand you, sometimes, it is difficult to talk to our parents and our friends because of their reaction and all. Thanks for the compliment, I will add you as a friend here.

Thank you so much, and I might have a hotmail. If not, I can always make one. I also just realized that I can email you from any kind of email. So anytime that you are free and feel like it, could you please send me a private message containing your email?

You are welcome!
When you will have been creating it, tell me by private message your email and I will add you.

Okie doke, I will make sure I do that. Hopefully we can become good friends.

Yes!!!!

I am not sure where to go to send a private message, could you please let me know?

Click on my username, then click on my contact info, then click on ''sens a private message to perseverance11''.

Is it okay?

Yep, I am going to send you a message now. Thanks for helping!

You are welcome!

I sent you a message.

I responded you!

Thanks! Would you like to just message on there now? (Instead of posting on here)

hey iluvdukie,

It looks like you've found the right person you're needing to talk to,

I just wanted to share that I go through the exact same mixed/hypomania episodes you've described. To a T. When I get hypomanic where I'm energetic, getting lots done, busy bee, up, etc., it's hard to enjoy because recently once I come down it turns into a P. Attack/severe irritability. It is obnoxious. I go to therapy which helps, but I don't think my P-doc would up any of my meds over it; I'm slowly making progress (which has taken months and months), and he's told me more than once being Bipolar comes with ups and downs, no amount of meds will stop that entirely.

You mentioned your friends. When I was in high school some of this started then, but in the form of severe depression. One teacher in particular was sympathetic to my plight and kind of took me on as her pet, of sorts. It wasn't anything i asked for; I just wanted someone who understood me. As a result, though, my friends were jealous I got extra attention, and they dumped me over summer break. I walked in class--we had two together--and they refused to speak to me. I didn't find out why for a long time.

Just wanted to share, and if you want to talk feel free to message me. I am so sorry you're in the space you are; reading your post my heart hurt for you because I know exactly what that feels like.

Thank you so much, I will definitely have to talk to you sometime. I am so happy that people are this supportive on here, it is definitely a different concept compared to what I am used to.