[sugahorse1]

Wow - I think I need to have a proper chat. They've not really been a part of my diagnosis due to me choosing to not really include them.
But I've just had 2 or 3 kind of stable days and I get a call: we'd like to come and visit you and and the bf for a chat a bit later.
Ok...what do you want to talk about?...
I would rather it discuss on the phone...
Does it have anything to do with bf and me?...
No, nothing really with the bf, but would be nice if he could be there...

I'm freaking out. We saw them on Thursday - why have another chat now? I'm panicking... They don't understand how much the unknown triggers me.
3 hours to go, until we meet for coffee
Bf says he has his own stuff to do -typical- so he probably won't come with.

Just keep me in your thoughts; I'm probably making mountains out of molehills. 3 hours of total anxiety

[LiveThroughThis]

Originally Posted by sugahorse1

Wow - I think I need to have a proper chat. They've not really been a part of my diagnosis due to me choosing to not really include them.
But I've just had 2 or 3 kind of stable days and I get a call: we'd like to come and visit you and and the bf for a chat a bit later.
Ok...what do you want to talk about?...
I would rather it discuss on the phone...
Does it have anything to do with bf and me?...
No, nothing really with the bf, but would be nice if he could be there...

I'm freaking out. We saw them on Thursday - why have another chat now? I'm panicking... They don't understand how much the unknown triggers me.
3 hours to go, until we meet for coffee
Bf says he has his own stuff to do -typical- so he probably won't come with.

Just keep me in your thoughts; I'm probably making mountains out of molehills. 3 hours of total anxiety

I know your apprehension all too well; I dread anytime my family plans a get-together. I never enjoy myself--they're loud as hell--and I always feel physically or mentally bad afterwards. Yet I have THE hardest time setting my boundaries cause I somewhat rely on them for transportation sometimes. They're very good at guilt-tripping as well. Ugh.

I'm thinking of you. Hope it goes better than you think.

[Victoria'smom]

Hopefully it's nothing that big. Vent after if you need to. Family is a huge trigger for me too. lots of

parents are my biggest triggers.

but maybe because since i've had my mental illness, they've treated me like dirt and will not pay attention to my suffering

[LiveThroughThis]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

parents are my biggest triggers.

but maybe because since i've had my mental illness, they've treated me like dirt and will not pay attention to my suffering

My experience is not that far from yours.

[sugahorse1]

I don't want them to know too much about my ex. I don't want their sympathy - that's another topic altogether. I normally try stay away from them and do my own thing. I don't have to rely on them...

how did it go?

[Trippin2.0]

Thinking of you Jacky. Please let us know how it went, even if you're not up to sharing details.

[MommaR]

I hope it went well. I dread even talking to my parents on the phone...

[purpledaisy]

I have a parent who is a big trigger also, so I feel your pain.

"We need to have a talk" is code for her telling me (again) everything I've ever done wrong in my life, why I'm not worthy of being loved, I'm such a failure, she's so embarrassed by me, why can't I be like her friends' successful children...

So how did the chat go?

We're here for you.

[LucyG]

I'm with you. When someone tells me they want to talk to me, I assume the worst as that was what my SF used to say when he was going to chew us out for an hour about what a worthless piece of garbage we were.

Just saw this (weird day here).
Oh yeah, totally understand the reaction. Here too.
Hoping it went better than expected.

[sugahorse1]

It was worse.
My grandmother has been diagnosed with sever cancer (kidney, liver, spleen and lung).
She's in Germany. They'll take the kidney out and then the discussion happens about chemo. It's her 55th wedding anniversary next month. Her husband won't even mention the word.
Now my parents have asked if I want to go over and visit her -probably for the last time, or rather remember her for the lovely person she was.
I'm shattered. I've never had to deal with this.
Drank myself into a stupor.
It's comes after my grandfather (from my other parent) has just been dx'd with possible dementia or sever BPI - but at 70 years old, it's not likely he would only be dx'd now. We meed to get him cleared medically to get to Germany for help, as he's currently in the Philippines.
I'm losing it. And I cant afford to. It will break my family if I crack.

Wow, I'm so sorry, Jackie...
Kind of at a loss for words. All I can offer at the moment are hugs.

I will try to check in tomorrow. Please take care, ok?

[sugahorse1]

Thanks IZ. Taken too many Benzo's to try cope, so I'm feelin a bit out it. Probably should call my T.
I don't know who tell.
Was balling my eyes out on the way to work, but don't want to break down in an open- plan office.

[sugahorse1]

Help!!!! I can't take this

[LiveThroughThis]

Honey I am so sorry!!! God if I had some words that could help. I've never been in your current situation with your family....I can only imagine.

I'm here if you need to vent or a hug or cry...

[MommaR]

I'm so sorry, Sug. You're family is in my thoughts and prayers.

[Trippin2.0]

Thinking of you Jackie so sorry for what you have to endure, wish I was in Durbs right now my friend...

[faerie_moon_x]

I'm so sorry, Suga. That is a lot to deal with all at once.

You and your family are in my thoughts today.

[sugahorse1]

Thanks everyone - I'll try stay strong. I know to be careful. I am drinking too much, but if it totally gets out of hand, I'll go to the hospital.
I have to do this for everyone. This is a test for me. I need u guys right now

[Trippin2.0]

We're not going anywhere

[perseverance11]

How was it?

I hope you feel better.