On Thin Ice

So I had an episode last weekend that I don't really remember. I know I ended up in the hospital twice (in less than 48 hours), both via cop persuasion and ambulance (and I have the bruises to prove it - from the cops I mean). Once again (twice in a row) I overdosed on Clonazepam - intentionally. I've been so messed up these days. My highs and lows are getting increasing severe. My drug use (illegal) is spiraling out of control. My fiance (also Bipolar Type II) is also on a low... he just saw me typing this out asked what this was about - I said self help and he flipped his lid. Now he's laying in bed telling me to find a new boyfriend. I am financially ****ed, and if it werent for my three kids (who dont live with me) I swear to god I would have taken myself out long ago.... I'm fed up with living like this but I cant seem to find the help I need. Seriously considering admitting myself to the local mental institution. If not, I might just make damn sure my next overdose will be my last...

If you're gonna go out, might as well go out with a BANG!

You should probably go to the hospital or find a community center before your put in a hospital involuntarily. Financial stuff can be fixed once you are stable.

I agree you really need to seek treatment whether inpatient or out patient.. Life can get better with some help.

Good Luck

I have spent a couple of days in a psych er in Montreal; there were huge confidentiality issues - the social worker basically made calls that were not sanctioned or allowed by me - but other than that it was a fine, professional institution. Feeling the way you are feeling you do belong inpatient. You have a lot on your plate and you need all the help you can get. Sometimes going to the hospital is the best decision. There are now medical treatments for illegal drug addiction, too, that show some success. You will be fine, with time, you just need to get help for yourself.