how bad is life for the 'normal' person

Ever wonder just what life is like for someone without a mental illness. I have been MI since the age of nine and I have been wondering a lot how it feels, in comparison, like a side by side comparison. How bad is it, really, for me in comparison to the norm? Anyone else ever wonder this?

Is life really this hard for the norm too?

I think sometimes that maybe life is this hard for everyone and that I should just suck it up sometimes. Like I am a complainer in comparison.

I told my pdoc that I felt blah and he said "now you know what the rest of us feel like all the time." LOL. Of course, I am hypomanic 99% of the time and always have been, so it is hard to gauge what normal is like. I think my husband is "normal" and he doesn't constnatly have thoughts in his head. I envy people who have calm brains with periods of no thoughts.

If you think that life is easy for "normal" people, then you're wrong. Life is hard for everyone. Everyone has a burden. If it's not mental illness it's physical illness. If it isn't physical illness it's financial problems. If it's not financial problems it's relationship problems. If it's not relationship problems it's work problems... everyone has all of these problems no matter if they have mental illness or not.

Life is hard. Anyone who floats along acting like life is a party or a picnic is in denial or sheltered. And sheltered people have problems because they are too naive in the world.

This is what I try to tell people. Having bipolar is not the end all life ruiner that people think. There are thousands of end all life ruining issues people face everyday. Life is hard because that's just how it is.

And so yeah, sometimes we all have to suck it up. But you know, sometimes we need to forgive ourselves, too. Our society is so much toward the perfect life and perfectionism. It's impossible to attain that for anyone.

yeah, i was thinking that too. If a financial burden is taking over someones life.. then that would be as bad to them as depression is to me, and so on

Yeah. We all have our burdens. The key is learning to cope with them, or in the case of illness, learning how to care for ourselves when we're ill. Like bipolar is like... cycles, so... sometimes up and then down. So you have to have different action plans for up then down. Caretaking plan. Something like that. So, not that you have to suck it up maybe, but just need to have a good caretaking plan that works for you. It will take time to learn.

Routine also. We with bipolar are good with routine. And not to change things drastically very much.

Sorry if that doesn't make sense....

perfect sense! I know that when my routine is messed up I get all messed up in the head and can start cycling again.

Most of the people I know don't have mental illness, some struggle with life worse than I do, some a bit better, but they all have problems somewhere. I don't know very many people who seem to have it all together, some people from yoga.. But I just don't know them that good.

My bf doesnt have mi, but he has a ton of physical illness, he struggles as often as I do. And yes it leads to depression.

yeah... wow. it seems somewhat discouraging though. But yes, everyone has their struggle. it just seems that.... what am I trying to achieve if the 'norm' is just as bad lol.

just me lost in thought here. It would be easier if there was a light at the end of the tunnel. a happy place where most people live, per say. oh well... just thinking too much i guess

The way I see it is we shouldn't be trying to achieve "the norm" like be like someone or some box version of what people are supposed to be. I think media puts forth this idea of the white picket fence life. Remember in Edward Scissor Hands where in the "perfect" neighborhood all the houses we the same, everyone pulls out of the driveway at the same time. Everything looked "perfect" but then Edward arrives, this weird guy. And suddenly the dark underbelly is revealed. And really Edward was the most sane out of all of them!

Instead of trying to put yourself into the box someone else makes for you, try to think of it like "I'm working to become the best me I can be." Even if that means you also have depression or mania sometimes, that's okay. You're you. If you don't fit into someone's box, that's their own problem.

I hear what you are saying. I just think it would be easier if there was a box that I needed to fit into.

Okay, so make a box and label it "Dan."

I mean, really. Like a shoe box. And any time you are doing something that makes you happy that you consider "normal," write it on a slip of paper and put it into your box. The Dan box will become your tool box. And when you start slipping you can go through your box and look at all the things that mak you who you are.

We are individuals, we are MEANT to create our own boxes,molds or patterns... Nobody can do it for us, they wouldnt know what is acceptable or not. Eg. What if you put me in charge of creating the Dan box, and I decided that adding 'playboy' is an absolute must? You'd either rebel from my box, beat yourself up over not fitting into my box, or trying your damndest to fit into it. Either way you go, it makes for 1 miserable journey... Go on Dan, CREATE YOUR BOX!

yeah.

People stop idolizing normal. Nobody has it easy. And we are not normal, there is no cure and never will be... so live with it. Why should I be sad, for what I never had?

I said it before, will say it again. Better be bipolar where it's peaceful welfare state then "normal" in Gaza strip.

Maybe the "oh so kewl" positive people are kinda shallow in a way. Maybe those who cannot cry intensely cannot be truly happy either, as they simply don't have the depth.

lol! I would then literally fit into a box!

Yes! This is exactly true. I would much rather have bipolar than be shallow and vapid. And it is important to count blessings. I may have bipolar but I don't have to fear that some military group will bust into my house in the middle of the night and kill us all...

but Dan... this IS done.

Watch few documentaries on North Korea.... and you will never want somebody to define you again.

(or read Brave New World, where people were created to fit a mold. It's called dystopia for a reason).

idk... I always said that part of my problem is that I feel too much.

Just to play devils advocate.... maybe shallow people are happy though.

aaawww.. yes, this is not the box that I had imagined, but it is the reality of it. ok... no more box for me

If you think shallow people are happy, watch Real Housewives of New Jersey.... my mother-in-law watches that and their lives are a nightmare. Rich, shallow, people... never seen so much evil and drama in my life. None of them are happy it seems.

If you want to see "normal" people, watch all those housewife shows. Those show the "normal" box that so many people try to achieve. None of them are happy.... (and none of them are normal, LOL)

ok. I'll give you that, no way I want to be like those reality tv people. It does seem, though, that thinking this way, the way you are saying, promotes a lot of responsibility and self awareness.

I have to be honest here. I don't always want that kind of responsibility.

that's why a box seems appealing sometimes. then I wouldn't have to be responsible for how things are for me. I could just go with the flow and not HAVE to be in control. sounds bad, huh.

But boxes are confining, there is no room for change in a box, just leaves you boxed in. Better to be outside the box then in the box. Reminds me of outhouses a bit, ya sorry, but when we pull over on the highway at the outhouse, I would much rather go behind it or in the trees, then to go in there..where someone decided I should. Yuck.

Boxes are used to contain things, which is good for stuff like cereal. I get what you are saying, a box seems like it could give us a break, but a box would break us.