[Just a girl..]

So.. Friday I was hanging out with my friend at her house. We were bored and needed something to do, so I suggested hanging out with HER boyfriend and HER cousin, and going somewhere. (Which she knew in ADVANCE that i had to leave before 6). ... She made plans WITHOUT me, and then left me all alone at HER house, because she was going out with her bf and cousin, and they weren't going to be back before I had to leave....... It was MY IDEA! ..and she left me at HER HOUSE, and just told me to go to my boyfriends house. (who lives near her, BUT STILL. ,, he wasn't even home.. and she knew that when she said it!!)
...I might have overreacted.. but she's never been the best friend she was supposed to be.. so I ended it. I told her I was done with our friendship, for good. ... and then she thinks she has the right to basically tell me that I wanted her to ditch me, and that I should feel sorry for her. ... UGH! I'm soo ticked off! >:O ....


...Sorry, I really needed to vent...
--Anyone have similar stories or advice.?

[Victoria'smom]

I'm sorry your friend was so inconsiderate. Friendships like that never seem to last

[Just a girl..]

It's okay.. I kinda feel bad about what I said.. I've been friends with that girl since I was four years old.. And who knows, Maybe I'm the one that's the problem.. i dont know.
..I actually got so mad that I kicked her door.. and kinda broke it.. thank god someone had kicked her door before, so what I did isn't really noticable.. even though i still shouldnt have..

[hamster-bamster]

Old friendships are valuable and irreplaceable. Write a letter to her about how you feel now.

[Just a girl..]

I'm not sure I'm in the position to forgive her yet.. this isn't the first time something like this has happened..
I want her to realize how valuable our friendship really is.. and that how she treats me, is not okay.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Just a girl..

I want her to realize how valuable our friendship really is.. and that how she treats me, is not okay.

That sounds like a good beginning for a letter. You do not have to wait until you can forgive.

[Just a girl..]

I don't know..

sorry this happened.

hugs

[faerie_moon_x]

I used to have a "friend" who was my "best friend" since 3rd grade. She was a horrible friend. She used to tell me I was fat (when I was very thin as a kid.) And that I was ugly. If I told her I liked a boy, she would then flirt with him and get him to like her over me. And she used to do dumb stuff like you're describing. And yes, I had bipolar (although didn't know it) and was depressed a lot, or whatever. But she had issues and was toxic for me.

So, I would say that it would be a good idea to make a list of any type of this toxic behavior between her and you before deciding to reconcile. Old friends are important, but only if they are not toxic.

[Just a girl..]

This girl seems to think that the whole world is about her, and that everyone owes her something.
.. This girl also thinks that she needs to be me. ..and I'm not exaggerating.
Everything I do, she does. If I buy something, she buys either the exact same thing or something close to it. .. for example. I got a new phone a couple months ago. It's nothing special. It's just an old phone that i found cheap on ebay, and it works for me. .. last week she purchased the same exact phone. even the same color as mine. ,, I've gone shopping with her and if i would buy a shirt i liked, she would buy the same thing. (i quickly learned not to take her shopping.) ..if somebody texts her , she'll tell me what they say, and being me, i make jokes alot. So if i say something funny that i would say back, thats how she replies back.. .. she can't even use her own words when I am around..
IT DRIVES ME CRAZY.
.I've even had people come up to me and tell me that she copies me. I even had one person tell me last week that the only reason he talks to her , is because she acts like me, and he likes me.
but recently she's got some idea that she's better than me, and she can treat me any way she wants and everything will be fine between us. ... she irritates me as it was before.. and now she just flat out makes me mad...
I think the only thing I could do, was to end the friendship..
but I also feel bad, because I know I'm the only real friend she has.. and I also know that if I'm not their to fix her and her BF's problems, then she probably won't have a boyfriend for much longer..
ugh.

[hamster-bamster]

I have heard of such copy cats in an office environment - one woman comes to work wearing and outfit and another immediately gets that outfit, too.

[Just a girl..]

Yes. It is rather annoying.

[hamster-bamster]

My youngest daughter once complained that her then friend Maya copied her. It was in elementary school. My daughter has not retained her friendship with Maya. So, I gather, it bothers the object of copying a LOT.

[Just a girl..]

Yes. I try so hard to be my own person, and not be like everyone else. It bugs me so much, when someone trys to take that away from me.

[faerie_moon_x]

It sounds like this girl has no sense of self. This is a major issue far beyond being a "copy cat." She may act superior, but her actions say exactly the oposite. I bet her acting like she's better than you is just a front to hide the fact that she feels far inferior. If she felt superior for real, then she wouldn't copy everything you do.

It is very clear from your post that this girl has a mental health issue and needs therapy. Whatever her issue is, it isn't something you can fix. She needs some help. You've known her for a long time and you said her door was already broken. Is there issues in her house? Her behavior is a 100% red flag that she's not well cared for, possibly talked down to, has no self-esteem or idea of self-value.

[Just a girl..]

She see's a thearpst for self harm issues.. She has not had these issues in well over a year, but this copying problem just keeps getting worse.
She seems to always have a problem.. if not this, than something else.
honestly she just wants people to pay attention to her..
there is nothing wrong in her home. She is an only child, and she is spoiled rotten. Her parents and aunt buy her anything she wants. and give into almost anything she asks for.
.. the one thing they did not give into, was her getting her nose pierced. Which she "so desperately" wants. .... which didn't start until i got mine done..
but anyway. the dent in her door, is because when she younger she got in trouble, ran into her room and locked the door, and would not let anyone in. so her dad kicked the door. .. he does not usually get angry, he is not abuse or anything like that. He was just angry and it was a one time thing. He loves his daughter very much, he is a huge push-over and doesn't know how to use the word No. ..

[faerie_moon_x]

Well, there is something going on with her. If she does it for attention, then it for sure is good to not be friends any more.

[Just a girl..]

I guess..

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by Just a girl..

It's okay.. I kinda feel bad about what I said.. I've been friends with that girl since I was four years old.. And who knows, Maybe I'm the one that's the problem.. i dont know.
..I actually got so mad that I kicked her door.. and kinda broke it.. thank god someone had kicked her door before, so what I did isn't really noticable.. even though i still shouldnt have..

Maybe there's a reason someone else kicked her door--maybe there's a pattern with her!

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

I used to have a "friend" who was my "best friend" since 3rd grade. She was a horrible friend. She used to tell me I was fat (when I was very thin as a kid.) And that I was ugly. If I told her I liked a boy, she would then flirt with him and get him to like her over me. And she used to do dumb stuff like you're describing. And yes, I had bipolar (although didn't know it) and was depressed a lot, or whatever. But she had issues and was toxic for me.

So, I would say that it would be a good idea to make a list of any type of this toxic behavior between her and you before deciding to reconcile. Old friends are important, but only if they are not toxic.

This year, I had to give up a "friend" who was also very toxic for me. We only met about 3 1/2 years ago but we became good friends right away. She often treated me like a two year old, actually taLKing baby talk to me. When ever her (now ex) boyfriend would break up with her, she would beg me to spy on him. They did get married but he couldn't take it anymore after a month--so he filed for divorce. But while they were still married, she kept begging me to sleep with him. At that time, she also tried to get me to force myself on another man that already had a girlfriend. She lied to me about a lot of my friends to get me to stop being friends with them. That's just the tip of the iceberg, but it came to a head in January or February of this year. I needed to get someones phone number and I knew she had it so I called her and left a message for her to call me back. I specifically asked her to call my landline and not to text me because I was running low on minutes and available texts. Not even 5 minutes later, I got a really nasty text from her, accusing me of betraying her. I called her up to talk to about it and she hung up on me--then kept sending me really nasty messages, saying that I was victimizing her, what a terrible friend I was, how mean I was to her, blah blah blah. So I finally decided to end it. Two weeks later, I found out that she had been spreading rumors that I had a campaign going against her.

[Just a girl..]

I'm so sorry to hear that

[thickntired]

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

I used to have a "friend" who was my "best friend" since 3rd grade. She was a horrible friend. She used to tell me I was fat (when I was very thin as a kid.) And that I was ugly. If I told her I liked a boy, she would then flirt with him and get him to like her over me. And she used to do dumb stuff like you're describing. And yes, I had bipolar (although didn't know it) and was depressed a lot, or whatever. But she had issues and was toxic for me.

So, I would say that it would be a good idea to make a list of any type of this toxic behavior between her and you before deciding to reconcile. Old friends are important, but only if they are not toxic.

Oh my Gosh!! You've describd my high school best friend. She was so mean to me and abusive. I was afraid of her wrath!

I think when we have current mental illness' many times we are also much more sensitive than the average girl. That makes it even more important to avoid toxic people.

Good Luck!

TnT

[Just a girl..]

Is that way it bugs me so much..? Everything she does recently has just irritated me.. and idk why..

[MommaR]

I think its very hard to maintain "normal" healthy friendships when you are bipolar. I am blessed to have built a very close knit family of my own children, their spouses, their spouses' families and my grandson. Honestly, outside of them and you wonderful folks, I dont put much effort into building social networks or friends bc I have had so many experiences w/ ppl using me or "ditching" me- often bc they couldn't handle my BP- but sometimes just bc I was "ditch-able" I guess. All that said, I do NOT think that just bc being BP makes friendships harder to find and maintain that we should compromise and accept negative or even destructive friendships. Even tho this person has been in your life a long time, that doesn't necessarily means she DESERVES to continue to have a place in your life.

[Just a girl..]

I see what you mean