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#1
Oct 30, 2012, 01:26 PM
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Yes I'm a warrior and I'll fight for us all. But I'm also this a thing I don't understand, a broken thing. Some days I am strong for the fight. But not today. Today I'm a broken thing, limp, not knowing how to move my body. I yelled at the forks and I cursed the sunlight. I was *****y at a business meeting. I don't know who I am. But I know I don't want to be here. Thinking about tomorrow makes me panic. There's no hope thinking about tomorrow, so I hide, I go limp. Another day... no thanks? Wishing not to feel anymore. I want pain killers, but hate how they make me itch. I want to scream but hate how it hurts my throat. Court with my son in 2 hours, I have no clean clothes to wear. I hate going there, sitting waiting for 4-5 hours, our name is always last alphabetically. I hate this **** I hate my life. But I'll be back later.
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 Anonymous32894, Anonymous32912, BipolaRNurse, Confusedinomicon, emgreen, faerie_moon_x, kindachaotic, LiveThroughThis, Moose72, shewheel, thickntired, Victoria'smom
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#2
Oct 30, 2012, 01:41 PM
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BI
 I'm sorry you are having such a crap day. Pain meds make me itch like crazy, especially my scalp  Can you afford to do something nice just for yourself, like a manicure or just a long, hot bath with a glass of vino? I think you would really benefit from alone time, even if it's just for a hour. TnT 
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 There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
Erma Bombeck |
 Moose72
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#3
Oct 30, 2012, 02:13 PM
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I hope all goes well for court today, Blue. It's no wonder you feel like you do.
Maybe if you can get your son into a place where he's safe and away from you, all of you can start to heal. That's hard to think, but I know you all need to heal. I pray that someday he will be well and your family can be safely together again. i agree with thickntired on this one. Do something for yourself as soon as you can. You deserve some rest.
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#4
Oct 30, 2012, 02:18 PM
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i am also having a rough day, and posting on here has been helping so i hope somehow you find words to help fix your day, or be able to wake up tomorrow knowing you can make it a better day. best of luck to you and your son!
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#5
Oct 30, 2012, 05:34 PM
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Love ya Blue... thats all I know to say...
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#6
Oct 30, 2012, 05:36 PM
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Hope court goes well, and agree that its perfectly understandable to feel how you do, concidering the massive plate full of faecal matter put infront of you. Please do take that hour to yourself, run a lovely bath, listen to some relaxing tunes, and just take a tiny timeout to be with youg and look after you. Hope this pain and suffering you've been experiencing fux off soon, and that your family can heal and be whole again
thinking about you and the children
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#7
Oct 30, 2012, 05:48 PM
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You will get through this.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
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#8
Oct 30, 2012, 06:24 PM
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 dear C..I reckon it's time "life" started cleaning up it's own poop! you are a fighter for sure and sometimes it 'fires' you up and other times it's kinda' meaningless but mostly being a fighter?... it's soul destroying because it just won't give you a freaking break! ...wanting to be numb makes perfect sense I know this sounds lame...but please be ok C...
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#9
Oct 30, 2012, 10:43 PM
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Awww Blue
You will get through this because you are so strong ! As others has said Please take some time for YOU. But I understand every word in your post. Keep on posting when you can and hopefully it will help you
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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