Work problems!

Just to let you know, I just have the need to vent, so you may not want to read about my misery.

One of my issues is avoidance. Now, at work, I have been assigned a "mentor" who is a total pain in the backside. It doesn't matter that I have taught for 20 years, and have already worked in this county-my school's policy is to assign everyone a mentor when they start working at the school in order to learn "the school's ways." My treasure of a mentor happens to be the type of person I cannot stand-she sits in my class for hours (almost 3 today), she interrupts my lessons with her vast wealth of knowledge (gag), she yells at my kids in the middle of whatever I am doing. I absolutely cannot stand her!

My other problem is that I cry when frustrated. Today I cried twice. Once at lunch when I was talking with my team of fifth grade teachers, and the other when my principal asked how things were going. Here I was crying, and trying to be delicate with my words to tell her how I am not able to handle this woman.

I can't start this crying problem. I am afraid my reputation already precedes me concerning the time I completely lost it emotionally with another principal, who happens to work down the road.

Btw, the principal asked if she should talk with her, but I said I would do this. I know I need to act professionally.
Bluemountains

Hi Blue Mnt,

What a crock that you would have a mentor 20 years into your career?! I can't stand when people micromanage me, like it sounds she is doing. I'm sorry she is being such a hag. I quit a good job once because my co-worker was so evil.
To cover your backside as much as possible I would keep a daily log of incidents where she interrupts, disrupts, or talks down to you. Also, I would try to keep a paper trail (e-mail) or have your boss present when you discuss your professional relationship.

IMO it can harm a career if you don't get along wth an assigned mentor, unless there is a case of her acting out with gross misconduct. And I'd try my best to keep things smooth just to protect your professional reputation. I don't mean to imply that she is justified in her actions at all though.

Good luck,

TnT

Peace & Hugs

TnT

Ugh! I hate being micromanaged! Why cant they just give you a break down of the 'school ways'? Thats what companies do.We have a list of principles (Big 5) we need to live by & exude at work so we all know how things are supposed to be done.Unless the school has no actual jobs for these mentors & are keeping them around for job creation, I dont get why they're there. I feel for you BM,your situation sucks wet rabid dog a.s.s Let us know how the 'talk' went with her ok? Hang in there my friend

Oh Blue that sucks!! I do not like being watched over, and having her interfere with your management of your kids in class... big boundary cross! I hope you will tell her to save her critiques for private, not while you're trying to be in charge of your class.

And the crying... I do that too. Big big hugs I pray that tomorrow will be better. And you can vent anytime

How long do you have to put up with her? I can't stand being micromanaged either. I also cry when angry or frustrated. It's annoying. -.- I know exactly what you mean, trying to be professional and here come the stupid tears. I hate that.

Hopefully your last school didn't disclose things. I don't think they are supposed to do that... Hopefully you'll be done with your mentor soon.

I agree with everyone. It's counter-productive to have someone in the classroom when you're trying to teach. the children are all wondering what she's doing there and are probably not giving full attention to the teacher's efforts--particularly yelling at your children is inexcusable, so is interrupting your efforts.

I'd see that she understood that you are in charge of your class and that her
presence is not helpful.

You'll be good, Blue Mountains, because you've got the stuff that it takes to be a
strong teacher: the sensitivity, the love of children, and the educational training.

Are you in a small community? I wonder sometimes if some of a school board's ideas are helpful in the classroom.

Take care and stand up for yourself, please.

Guys, I love all of you for the support! We had to do testing today so I got a break, and I think I have my emotions in check, so I plan on confronting her on Wednesday, the day she has established for our weekly meetings. It's my class and I have to take it back. Yes, I teach in a class full of hooligans, but they are my hooligans, and she needs to back off.

Dark Heart, yes the ethical thing is not to share information, but I live in a state where ethics aren't always at the top of the list. We have several former government officials in prison now for a variety of questionable acts. Luckily I have lived in other states, so I see that this is not the norm. I never had any of these problems when I lived in Virginia. It's just a different world here in North Carolina. I want to click my ruby slippers and go home!
Thank you!
Bluemountains

it is a good idea to approach her at your meeting

you can be assertive and state your needs and preferences

i always like to prepare these conversations in advance, i even write down key words so that when it comes to saying it, i get it right

Thanks so much, Blue Poppy! I definitely have my conversation going through my head, but I think that writing it down would help to stop my obsession over what to do. My sleep has been interrupted over this.

Oh, and I also forgot to mention that there are four other fifth grade teachers and they feel so sorry for me. There is one other new teacher, newer than me, and she managed to get assigned a normal person. The other teachers on my team are trying to help me figure out ways to handle this situation. Obviously they don't want to jeopardize their own positions, but what I am enduring is well-known as a problem.

Don't ever be concerned abt venting. Here at PC we take the good with the bad. LOL (smile).

I'm sorry your dealing with this so well into your career. I have been severely micromanaged and remember the feelings that followed. have you considered speaking you HR or a union rep (if part of a union). Also your benefits package probably includes EAP. I would contact them about a life coach or counselor.

At least the weekend is here now. Yep, they are YOUR hooligans, not hers, I like that lol.

Thanks, Blue. There is no such thing as a union, which is actually the case in most, if not all, of the southern states. We survive at the mercy of the administration liking us. I get observed next Friday, and I guess I will then find out how much I am liked! I do know, however, that it would be very hard for them to find an experienced teacher right now, not that I am considering quitting, it just makes me feel that I have a little leverage with all that I am dealing with.