[MilitaryMech]

Hey all,

I just joined up, and this is my first post outside of the "welcome aboard" post.

My BP(II) issues tend to revolve around being cranky/nasty and not being able to control my mouth. I've been fired from four jobs in the last five years because I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

I was just fired from the BEST JOB I've ever had in September. I'm a RN and had been specializing in Dialysis. The hours were wonderful, the pay excellent and I got along GREAT with almost all the staff.

Things started to go sideways in August, when I was at the Hospital for a class and got into an argument with another nurse. Yes she started the fight, yes she was the nasty one. Still, I knew better and took the bait. I snapped at her in front of a patient and that got me a "final written warning". Then, in Sept, I was at the tail end of a BAD 18hr shift when I had a cranky patient and daughter come to my treatment room. The daughter wasn't allowed to stay, didn't like that and complained. She got snarky with me and I TOOK THE BAIT..... FML

I had also made some bad, "off color" jokes with another nurse who evidently decided to file a complaint instead of say something....

Now I'm on unemployment and desperate to get back to work. My meds are $500/month since I don't have insurance....

I'm a good person (mostly), and a DAMN good nurse. I just want to go back to work..... :-(

[emgreen]

I'm sorry things have taken a turn for the worst. BTW welcome to PC. Having a nursing degree it seems that the job market might be very promising for you (at least more promising than it is for others). With the proper mix of meds & work in therapy you might be able to exercise better impulse control. That seems to be a common problem among folks who are BP. I wish you well &, again, welcome to PC. I think you'll find much that is useful here.

[MilitaryMech]

Yeah.... the self control issue has ALWAYS been cyclical! That's how I know its related to my BP(II). I can go months without any problems, then out of the blue, I get a serious case of "open mouth, insert foot"......

You would think that as nurses, they would be a little more compassionate towards someone with this issue... When corporate is a Fortune 100 company, I don't think compassion is anywhere to be found.

[vanessaG]

welcome So you are on medication for your bipolar? Did your employer know about your diagnosis?

[MilitaryMech]

Yes, I'm on Stavzor (long acting form of Depakote)...... and Yes the company knew. When this new supervisor took over, she had no idea. Evidently the guy who got canned didn't tell her anything. I had to tell her everything.... Trust me, she knew.

Unfortunately I don't think I can do anything... I was working in Chicago and Illinois is an "at will" state. They didn't specify why they let me go, they just said I was terminated.

[BipolaRNurse]

Welcome to PC! As you can tell by my user name, I'm a bipolar nurse too, and I can tell you that I've experienced every emotion you've talked about in the course of an average shift. Currently I'm the DON of a large assisted living facility, which is my dream job, but I struggle daily with impatience, distractibility, impulse control and a big mouth. Meds help a lot, and so far I've been with this job for just over 2 years (which is a long time for me---I've always job-hopped). I wish you the best of luck in finding a new position.

[MilitaryMech]

I don't think my quick reply's are hitting the system.... probably because my account is so new and under review.

I'm on meds. I was on STAVZOR until I lost my insurance, then switched to a slightly cheaper DEPAKOTE XR.

My company knew about the BPII. I once made the mistake of trying to hide something, and learned REAL QUICK its much better to get in trouble for what you did, than for hiding or lying about it.

They didn't seem to care about the diagnosis. When I got my "Final Written" I asked if there was any leeway because of my diagnosis and they flat out said no.

When they fired me, they had a police officer waiting in the office for me! I was frisked!!!!

It is so hard to get a new job! The Dialysis world is so small now. Every place is actually owned by one of two companies. I was just fired from one, and was fired by a company that was purchased by the other.... I'm afraid I won't be able to go back to work doing what I love.

As for "Job-Hopping", I know what you mean. I'm actually looking into travel nursing. One of the big selling points, is your'e never any where longer than 13 weeks. I don't think I could get myself in trouble in that short amount of time!

If it was just me, I'd pack up my clothes into the car and just bum it on the beach in FLA until I found something. But I have three sons. I have to keep a roof over their heads and keep them in school.

I'm on probation till Dec. 17th for my arrest after the "kerfuffle" between the ex and myself (the long story is soon to be on the welcome aboard post), and haven't so much as sniffed a beer in almost a year..... Wow, I could use one. So much for self medication.....

I'm pretty sure my father is also BP(II). He self medicates with Rum... he has to get completely bloto just to get to sleep.

I'm trying to be a better person and father than him..... blah

[~Christina]

Welcome to Pc ! Hope you find the support and information here helpful.

[NDNOutlaw]

Oh wow this is me. "Job hop" good phrase. I get irritated and blurt out stupid things at times. The result is either quitting before I'm fired or being fired. It worsens about every two years. When I got on meds I lasted six years , a new record for me. its powerful baffling and so damaging. I am also in a high stress work environment. I don't think I can continue but I need to throttle back some and work part time. Like you I'm very good at what I do but the bipolar wrecks such havoc at times.

[faerie_moon_x]

I'm only a secretary but I work in healthcare...

I notice that my write ups all happen at the same time of year, between August and January, usually in December. I try every year not to get a write up, and always fail. This past yearly review I got my "final warning" so at any moment for any reason I can be fired. I always am doing great, make one mistake and it's a huge explosion. I've also disclosed my diagnosis at work, which was about as helpful as setting fire to the building. I really feel HR is out to take me down.

I've held this job for almost 5 years now despite all of that. My main drive is fear. Before this we were in extreme poverty. So the absolute terror of not being able to feed my kids drives me to keep this job even when I am on the verge of walking off the job. It's not easy and I float in this bubble of wondering when the hammer will drop...

[MilitaryMech]

I was just told by a recruiter that I am totally ineligible for hire by the other major dialysis company in the country....

I F'd up and put my foot in my mouth.... Now I can't do a job that I love