[iluvdukie1]

I have been posting a lot more, or at least it feels like it. It also seems like less people are commenting, making me feel like I am annoying people now. So sorry if I ever seem like I am annoying, stubborn, or make you feel like I complain too much. It is just that this is one of the only places I feel comfortable venting. You guys seem like you would be the most willing to listen, and I dont't to bother anyone. This has always been an issue with me, I never really express my emotions to anyone. This is why I never cry in front of people, only when I am alone. I also never tell people when I am mad at them, causing issues to never be resolved. But I have been getting a little bit better at this lately, so yay.

Anyhow, onto another subject. I thought I was doing pretty well with the whole irritation thing, I was just a little down. But then, my friend had to call me. And of course, she is dating her boyfriend again for about the 17th time, and I am not exeggerating either. So she starts telling me that I better not make any rude remarks about it, which is hard to do considering how STUPID he is. And also, I have no clue what is rude or not, and I don't know when I am saying stuff like that. So she is constantly telling me that she is not going to tell me the rest of their conversating because "I made a noise and didn't say anything". It made me almost flip out on her, I don't have to like him if I don't want to. Like just ealier today, when she wasn't dating him, she asked if I thought he was funny, I said no, and she agreed. Then she just asked me a bit ago, when she was dating him, and I still said no. But then she got mad instead. It is ridiculous. Also, I don't want to talk really, but I don't have the heart to tell her, it makes me feel rude. People are just completely annoying me in general. Which totally pisses me off even more since my grades are starting to come up, I am getting less work now, and generally less stress. Which is what the psychologist said I need to be working on. He also said to get some more sleep, which I have been getting better at. I have done everything he said to do but it IS NOT working. I am so glad I have an appointment for Tuesday. Now that I think about it, I do worse with more sleep, I actually get tired easier. Oh well, thanks for listening to me vent.

[canacrip]

Wow. It really does suck when you feel like you're pouring your heart out and nobody's listening. It feels lonely, doesn't it? I seriously doubt that it's personal. Don't be discouraged. Keep sharing. As for your other issue, I have found that there is something inside of me that attracts what I call "toxic people". These are people who, ultimately, aren't good for me. It sounds as if your friend has a need for chaos in her life. It's something you seriously don't need. Start hanging with people who build you up and leave you feeling better. It's just a thought. Good luck and keep posting!

[Confusedinomicon]

It takes time for you to notice change. It doesnt happen in the span of a week. I had that belief when I was first diagnosed. I had a lot of bad habits.

I think you just annoyed and it is normal. Everyone has had friends who do stupid stuff. It is really normal for kids to break up all the time too. You just have the insight that its not good and she doesnt.

[iluvdukie1]

Originally Posted by canacrip

Wow. It really does suck when you feel like you're pouring your heart out and nobody's listening. It feels lonely, doesn't it? I seriously doubt that it's personal. Don't be discouraged. Keep sharing. As for your other issue, I have found that there is something inside of me that attracts what I call "toxic people". These are people who, ultimately, aren't good for me. It sounds as if your friend has a need for chaos in her life. It's something you seriously don't need. Start hanging with people who build you up and leave you feeling better. It's just a thought. Good luck and keep posting!

Yeah, it does feel lonely. And thanks for commenting, I really appreciate what you have to say. And I would love to hang out with people that build me up, but it is really hard to find people like that. Everyone seems irritating right now. Like my other friend, I only have two pretty much, keeps arguing with me and keeps complaining about everything, which annoys me. It was never this bad before.

[~Christina]

LOL I had a rule for my daughter ... She was NOT allowed to date until she was 16! She had so many friends "dating" around your age .. Ooooooooh the drama meter goes off the charts. (shes 21 now) I think you will need to take steps to reduce the effect your friends have on your mood.. Yep easier said than done ! But it is possible.

Your psychologist can help you learn ways to reduce the drama in your life.

I'm really sorry you are having to deal with all this. Things can and will get better if you keep working on it.

[iluvdukie1]

Thanks, and I know there is a lot of drama, way too much. I try to keep myself out of it as much as possible, I personally think it's a bunch of crap that just wastes time. But when you have a friend that loves that kind of stuff, it can get kind of hard. I also think that dating at my age is a little too early, and that it won't really last through high school. I think that things will end really fast, resulting in time wasted, so I stay out of it. It also helps that I have trouble connecting with people, and don't get "lovey" feelings like a lot of the girls in my grades do. Like they always say stuff like "he is so hot!", but I personally don't feel the same way, I never notice the way people look unless they are EXTREMELLY good looking or ugly. It has tone major. Otherwise, it never crosses my mind. And thanks, I appreciate your post!