Not able to say YES

My friend is never able to say yes to simple questions. When I ask him to join me for whatever occasion, he always says maybe. I asked him why he could never say yes or no, and his answer is always, " I don't ever know how I'm going to feel on that day, so I'll have to wait". Spontaneous is a great thing, but sometimes I need to plan ahead and I'm not sure he understands that..Any suggestions???

yeah this sounds just like me.

someone says to me .."hey how about this tomorrow?"

...I say..."hey I don't even understand tomorrow!"

suggestions?

...well?.....first up...it's not personal.

someone who struggles to make plans is afraid to 'accidently' hurt people they care about.

example: i don't answer the phone so that I don't end up feeling bad for not being able to express myself sufficiently and immediately to those that call me....I ring them back when I'm ready....only people I know call me

mental health changes rapidly and unexplained....it's easier to follow it than attempt to arrive there before it.

so it aint' a NO....but it also aint' a YES....it's a wait and see

but it is not personal

Yeah maybe he doesnt want to make anything solid because he would be afraid he has to break them and doesnt want to hurt you. My ex was bad about this as I to like plans to a degree but she would always break them and so saying maybe takes the sting away when someone cant go along with plans. I would make plans for myself and if people wanted to join me fine if not thats cool to. So basically make plans for yourself and if others follow then great.

I seldom can make plans in advance due to Fibro and Bipolar.. I hate to let anyone down by not being able to "show up".

I guess this isnt useful advice .. Sorry. Good luck

Hope you guys can come to a solution that works for both of you.

It makes so much sense. What you have all said makes so much sense. Just yesterday my sister and her husband invited us to spend New Yeaars with them and needed a head count for reservations. I asked, he said the same maybe, then said no. He saw my disappointment which I feel bad about because my he sees my emotions more than anyone on earth. I cannot use my poker face with him and get away with it. Anyway, he had a change of mind and told me to go ahead and schedule him in. He then explained that he doesn't want to disappoint me or let me down if at the moment of departure he falls into a mood. I am willing to take the chance. I love him and if he can't make it, I will be sad but I must respect his decision.

I'm the sane way...can't make definite plans when I'm down because I never know how down I will be that day and would want the option to just stay home if I'm not doing very well....sad but true.

me too, i avoid making commitments to plans. because i know myself well enough that i do often end up cancelling or not showing up. it's best for me to roll with the flow of the bp, which i have no idea how i'm going to be feeling when. it's nice your friend gave you his best possible yes, which includes preparing you for the fact that he honestly may or may not be able to make it. it's also so nice that you make such effort to understand it.