Hey! Haha, this is awesome!

Hey! I honestly feel amazing right now. Listening to music, talking to my best friend, feeling as if there is absolutely nothing to worry about right now. I love these positive feelings! I am going to draw soon, I have been feeling creative, wanna get it out out my system! I got my homework done super early, which feels really nice. Haha, I was kinda of down ealier, but I honestly can't understand why! I am so excitd, I have an appointment tomorrow, which I will only miss the last period of the day. So, I won't have to make up much! I am switching keyboard now, the one I was using before was holding me back big time. So, anyway! Last night was awesome too, I was so entertained. I was literally talking to like 8 people at the same time. Which I was actually doing through like 5 different means of communication. I was not relaxing for a single second, constantly replying to people, for like 4 hours straight. It was the best! I was so entertained. I was laughing so much since I was on the phone with my one friend. Also, because I was tricking this one guy. I was talkling to two guys at the same time, both in a lovey way. The one in a dirty lovey way, and the other was in a way like about how our personalities were basically the same. I talked to them for like three hours. The one guy was trying to get me to send him "sexy" pictures. I asked him if he "plays" with himself, and he said yes. Then he tried to get me to mess around with myself. I told him that I would since he told me that he would guide me through it, so I wanted to see him explain it, which he did. This really cracked me and my friend up, it was the best. The other guy talked to me about the kinds of music he likes, which was the same as me. He told me that he would date me if we weren't at completely different ends of the country. He kept telling me I was beautiful and sweet, well now we aren't even talking to each other anymore. I am usually not fine with sending pictures, at all, but last night I was perfectly fine with it for some reason? After talking to some other awesome people, it was like 1:50. I sdid NOT want to go to bed at all, I was really hyper then. So I started to listen to music, and continued messaging people. The music seemed unusually loud even though it was on the same volume as it always is. The music also seemed so much more complex, extravegant, and amazing. I felt like I was lost in it, it was so awesome! I felt like everything was abosolutely perfect, I felt like this tingly excitement. I remember thinking that everything was going to be fine, like nothing bad could happen. I also remember thinking how I never want this feeling to end, it was too perfect to forget. I honestly can't explain it, it was too amazing and complex to tell in words. I knew how I had to get up early, so I did feel a little guilty. Eventually since my iPod was dying I forced myself to go to bed.

It's great to see someone happy

Olivia ...

Maybe this is the "Mom" in me being very concerned.. But ... Please be careful with the whole "sexy pic.... and sexual talk stuff " you posted here or anywhere on line to be honest.. It has me concerned about your safety online and in real life.

Stay safe, please

If you lived in my house, child, you'd be grounded for sending "sexy" pics to a stranger online. You are way too young for this... And I'm sorry honey but 13 is not sexy! Didn't we just talk about this?

I didn't send pictures, he was asking me to but I said no. Then when I went to he'd I deleted the app so I wouldn't have to talk to that idiot ever again. I didn't really "sexy talk" either, he was the one that did it, I just listened. Don't worry, I know how to he smart, I am really cautious about that kind of stuff.

That is what you say, but if you keep talking to whomever they will talk you into crazier stuff. Dont exposure yourself to that and save your innocence.

I even deleted the app that gave me contact with the person in the first place, that way I won't be talking to strangers anymore. I was using Kik for it, but I deleted it as well, that way I wouldn't get any messages from the person.

Thats good. You should test the waters about relationships with your mom. Your getting to that age so I think she would appreciate keeping her in the loop. I didnt do that with my parents for a long time and regret it.

Also check out planned parenthood or other websites that can give you info about having safe sex. You dont need to now, but think about it when you get in a relationship. You can never be too safe.

That is a really good idea. If I do get a boyfriend, I will make sure I check it out. You never know what will happen, you can never be too safe.

I'm glad you are safe! Who knows who the people really are on the other end of the internet But I'm so proud of you for being smart and keeping boundaries. And since you most likely do have bipolar (right?) you need to be aware that we are at extra risk for risky situations unfortunately. But if you know this and are aware, you are ahead of the game keeping yourself safe and creating the most beautiful possible future for your lovely self.

I am guessing I do, I mean sometimes when I get REALLY depressed there isn't even a reason to support it. I don't even have things going on around me that would cause it at the moment, so I think. And thank you so much!

The depressions are weird and scary and sometimes seem like they're out of nowhere. But with therapy especially, you can learn so many tools to get through them. This group is a tool, talking yourself through it, trying to figure out what brought it on can busy your mind while you're in it. I have to tell myself about how I know it will pass, because it always does eventually, and then the next mood comes along. And my other best tool during depression is self nurturing, usually cuddled in bed with big pillows and blankets and favorite movies or music. Just figuring it out as we go along.

Yep, those are really the best things to do. It is so unpredictable, which it really troubling. You never know when you might feel like crap. Like earlier today, I was wondering what I will feel like on Christmas. Will I be able to enjoy it? Or will I feel like complete crap and about to cry the whole time? I better be like hypomanic or something so I can do a bunc of stuff. Like a lot.

Yep, hoping for the best for Christmas / holidays for all of us! I figure I'll just do my best that day with whatever mood, situations might happen, and I'll pull it off I hope. Sometimes I get all sappy and nostalgic around holidays, and cry at Christmas lights on the houses. And sometimes they make me happy. Who knows? It will be ok, try not to worry about it too much yet.

Yep, I will make sure I don't. I know I will be fine either way, it isn't that big a deal, especially right now. It just entered my mind, so I was thinking about. My mom always say she can't tell when I am depressed, but it's because I hide it. I don't show anyone that something is bothering me. I push myself to my limits to do this. I am reay surprised she can't tell though, stuff still slips through.