hate myself

mum jumped on a plane to come help me at court.

she is the sweetest little woman I ever met I don't know how she does it?
she just does


I so love her so much and I hardly see her and when I do I cannot function i want to be a good son but I am crap!

I am a crap son!
she is a beautiful mum!

my illness just gets worse....can't handle intimacy
I would kill everybody just to keep her alive...

and yet I cannot cope

one day she will leave forever and I will die of starvation on her grave

James !
I hope you feel better soon.
You may feel you hate yourself.

I think you are a wonderful friend

Please stay safe

I don't know what to write Christina honey....

I really don't

sometimes I just don't know...yep!

and thats ok...but when it happens for days after days?

days....

It's ok to not know what to write, we all do it

Just keep on posting !

Remember you are Loved no matter what

Mum loves you wether or not you are comfortable with comfort. She doesnt love you any less if a hug makes you squirm or a visit makes you sprint. She loves you, fullstop. Now... NO hating on my friend ok, he's a damn good guy and does the best he can with what he's got, give the guy a break.

make me cry Lia

Its ok to be you Jamesy, ITS OK, WE LOVE JAMES I'll email you some tissues...

sounds good little darling Lia

when a boy cries he need a whole box ....

Will send 2, just incase you cry yourself 'in your chops' Mwahz

If you were crap, she wouldn't have come to be with you. She feels YOU were WORTH her trip. You should respect her opinion

(You're brilliant. You don't need simple. But in simple terms, you have worth, James. Your mom knows this. You do, too. You are fecking brilliant. You just think too much and sometimes the crazy part gets in the way of the brilliance. The crazy part isn't who you are. You are the brilliant part. The rest is a short in the circuit. Try to go easier on yourself sometimes. You are, in fact, worth it, Mate.)

two cents are worth more than blank cheques!

thanks. AD..

Read my post again, please. You replied while I was editing it. I'd like you to see what it says now. Having my own issues thinkiing coherently today. LOL

it's a gift to get an accurately directed opinion...

often I miss the gift.

thanks Arthur

I did read

Thanks for allowing me in, James. Stay well.

James, I have just sent a friends request on FB to my 19-y-o son. He is not responding... Breaks my heart.

James Try looking at yourself through your mom's eye's. She has a beautiful, caring son, beautiful enough that it shines through the computer. She loves you with all her heart and wishes you could see how great you are. Give yourself a break and a chance to see yourself through her eyes.

Hi James,

I think you are being hard on yourself. A mother's love, that kind of love is unconditional, doesn't matter what you do. From the moment she laid eyes on you as a newborn, the love has been there.

I'm sure it does Hammy....thats not fair something better should happen there I'm so sorry.

luckily a mums connection is spiritual some kinda thing beyond anything else...thankyou MM

it's just hard from so far away ...cannot plan moods she gets the worst of me I feel cos I'm borderline I heard her jet plane fly over this morning and it's hard to say bye like that all the time...