Dad on Bipolar: "Get Over It" ...Happy Thanksgiving!

He has a slow growing leukemia - yeah, I wanted to say get over it, but I thought that would be too mean...

I agree, with leukemia it would be too mean. I was shooting for something more neutral and less catastrophic.

Well, it was about as well-received as I could have hoped for! At least we have a conversation started which is a big step forward. He apologized for his comment and admitted that he really doesn't understand what I'm going through, but he wants to try to understand BP. Huge step forward! (I think my mom had something to do with it...) I'm glad we're talking though. Gotta start somewhere

tbh, we often look so hard for something to be offended about.

I believe often "stop taking your meds" comes from people not understanding AND seeing (and hearing people complain) about side effects and whatnot. Yeah, it may not be anything people want to hear.... but it's not always malicious.


see, I find looking for ways to shoot back as *****y... and it will only reinforce others we are drama queens and not enlighten them.

Glad you talked it over with your dad. Sometimes I think we project the negative so much and we actually forget to communicate. I know I do. Last night for example I was just melting down and crying because I feel really displaced at home right now. Over the weekend we moved my desk just outside the office to see if the baby would be happier crawling around out there when I'm at my desk, which he hasn't been, he still just wants to sit by me and scream.... But out there I am under the constant scrutany of my mother-in-law and feel trapped. I was just spinning myself into anger that my husband had "kicked me out."

So, I went into the office and was standing there, he says "What are you up to?" I say, "Trying to calm down." Then he asks why, so I calmly explained how I was feeling, like I've lost my safe place in the house. So, he says, "You want to move back in here? I don't mind if you move back in here, I'll move your stuff back in tomorrow while you're at work." Suddenly I realize, "Oh, see, that was me freaking out." Amazing how one small sentance can fix everything.

Liviacat,

Great news that the communication is open ! Very happy for you

I just had my parents suggest that there's nothing wrong with me because I'm not BP I and have never been hospitalized like my brother. I'm BP II.

This despite the fact that there are other people with depression and alcoholism on both sides of the family. Mom's father and one sister committed suicide, and another of her sisters is bipolar.

But nothing wrong with me, it's just in my head. Get over it.

I'm really sorry that your family can't be supportive of your diagnosis as well, I know how frustrating that is. I thought that my father was not going to come around at all, but I've been surprised at how he's now been receptive to conversation about BP and what it means to me and my life. I do hope you find that kind of acceptance and support sooner than later. You deserve it. Even if you don't, know that by taking care of yourself you're doing the right thing regardless of what they might think. (Hugs)

so sorry liviacat.

not the kind of response i'd want either- no one knows how we are feeling better than ourselves- and if it people can't handle it, then it's not our problem

liviacat I feel your pain. My sister-in-law who I live with just doesn't-get-it! It's like I have this medical diagnosis and she just thinks it's made up, it's all in my head or I'm manipulating my p-doc. I even took her to an appt. with me and it didn't change a thing! Some people do not get that mental illness does have a physiological basis and that the ill person has a brain that doesn't work right. It makes me want to stand in the middle of the road and go ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Isn't it painful?? The ones we're supposed to be the closest with are the most alienating... Ugh indeed! I just hope he continues to keep up his end of the conversation with me (he is so far) and we make some more progress. It's really important to me!

He actually asked in an email back if he can come with me to my next t session! Wow!!

I never expected that! I bet my mother has done a number on him or something - ha! Or maybe he just really wants to be involved - heck, I'll take it! Now I'm actually a little nervous, what if he doesn't like my t or pdoc? Wait, why should that matter? He wants to be there, so he'll be there - how wonderful! This makes me really happy.

I just saw this thread for the first time. You're right, it shouldn't matter if he doesn't like your t or pdoc. YOU are the patient, not him. happy for you!

I agree, that is the only way he will listen.
- Coming from someone that was in sales before being diagnosed and having my first manic episode

Liviacat,Im glad to see this thread, it is exactly what Im experiencing right now, down to family not wanting me to take my meds and thowing them away.I just lost my father, november 28th, this is the time they chose to throw them away...go figure..

Liviacat, Im sad for you,because I can relate..It deosn't help to hear "get over it" .I usually hear "snap out of it" "things could be worse".here lately, my father died,My ssi Ive been fighting for 2.5 yrs was denied,and Im expected to stay with my mom wed-sun,and they threw away my Colonzapin,telling me "im handleing things beautifully." I dont understand that..Im really confused. I can't really offer any helpful words to you, except to say, your not alone..I came to this site seeking some kind of support system. I hope we both find it here.So far, for me, its been helpful to read that others are dealing with the same issues Im dealing with.

I was diagnosed in my mid 40s. I was somewhat relieved because now I had something to battle. I remember being out with my Dad at lunch and excitedly telling him I was BP. His reply? "Who is bipolar?" in a very offended voice. This was almost 4 years ago, we haven't spoken of it since.

Still and all we do wish everyone in our circle could be supportive, unfortunatly, that isn't the case.

I've gotten this same type of reaction when they thought I was just depressed - 'Oh, you're not depressed'. I'm sure my family thinks that my bipolar ii is just another excuse, too. An excuse for not being normal. I guess since I don't flaunt it around, it must not exist, eh?

I relate to all that everyone is saying.My Theropist is insenced about the things being said to me!! lol..
Today for some reason, im just finding this too funny for my own good.
I think because I dont feel so alone now, it has taken some of the pressure off of me,knowing that my family doesn't take this seriously.Dont misunderstand me, this condition is no laughing matter,especially when the depression gets so bad that suicidal thoughs creep into ones mind.Just for today,If I laugh at all, I welcome it.I hope that I dont offen anyone, its just something Im going thro..it probably wont last.

Denial is a powerful thing. Can anyone really understand the bipolar mind without experiencing it? I'm old and have probably heard most of the suggested CURES. I get irritated every time I hear one, but there is no way I'd wish any of them to experience BP. I often pray each night to not wake up, but then I think of those I love and realize what that would do to them.

But we can be supportive of each other - and that's important. Sometimes things change with family, but more often than not, they don't - just keep posting here and keep interacting with us and hopefully you can find the support you need with us (hugs)