the tiring past

I hate thinking about the past.
It's a desperate feeling about a desperate time
there are certain songs that describe my time very well
and I'm listening to one right now.
I don't know why...

It's guns n roses song coma

Ugh....

it's how I feel right now.
it's a very triggering song so don't go look it up if your vulnerable right now.

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Live your life like it's a coma
Won't you tell me why we'd want to
With all the reasons you give
It's kinda hard to believe

But who am I to tell you that I've seen any reason
Why you should stay
Maybe we'd be better off without you anyway
I got a one way ticket on your last chance ride
Got a one way ticket to your suicide
Got a one way ticket and there's no way out alive

And all this crass communication that has left you in the cold
Isn't much for consolation when you feel so weak and old
But if home is where the heart is
Then there's stories to be told
No, you don't need a doctor
No one else can heal your soul

Got your mind in submission
Got your life on the line
But nobody pulled the trigger
They just stepped aside
They'll be down by the water
While you watch 'em wavin' goodbye

They'll be callin' in the morning
They'll be hanging on the phone
They'll be waitin' for an answer
But you know nobody's home
And when the bells stop ringing
It was nobody's fault but your own

There were always ample warning
There were always subtle signs
And you would have seen them coming
But we gave you too much time
And when you said that no one's listening
Why'd your best friend drop a dime
Sometimes we get so tired of waiting for a
Way to spend our time

And it's so easy to be social
It's so easy to be cool
Yeah, its easy to get hungry
When you ain't got **** to lose
And I wish that I could help you
With what you hope to find
But I'm still out here waiting
Watching reruns of my life
When you reach the point of breaking
Know it's gonna take some time
To heal those broken memories
That another man would need
Just to survive

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landskaperdan,

I find songs can be very helpful or have the opposite affect. The song that I have been attached to given my feelings and current situation has been Young The Giant's "Cough Syrup" (lyrics below).

I think music can be great therapy. I know some times when I feel like I just want to disappear and forget everything, I will put on my headphones, turn up my music, and lay there allowing the music to consume me.

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Life's too short to even care at all, oh
I'm losing my mind, losing my mind, losing control
These fishes in the sea, they're staring at me, Oh oh
A wet world aches for a beat of a drum, Oh

If I could find a way to see this straight
I'd run away
To some fortune that I,
I should have found by now

I'm waiting for this cough syrup
to come down, come down

Life's too short to even care at all, oh
I'm coming up now, coming up now
out of the blue, oh
These zombies in the park,
they're looking for my heart, oh oh
A dark world aches for a splash of the sun, oh oh

If I could find a way to see this straight
I'd run away
To some fortune that I,
I should have found by now

And so I run now to the things
they said could restore me
Restore life the way it should be

I'm waiting for this cough syrup
to come down

Life's too short to even care at all, oh
I'm losing my mind, losing my mind, losing control

If I could find a way to see this straight
I'd run away
To some fortune that I,
I should have found by now

And so I'd run now to the things
they said could restore me
Restore life the way it should be

I'm waiting for this cough syrup
to come down
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