[Debi54]

I thought everything was going as well as can be expected under the circumstances, I felt pretty good, had a good visit with the doctor, am ready to start making arrangements with my creditors about all these bills I have, and life was peaceful. I sent my father two emails, telling him about the progress I had made, thinking he would be happy, have not heard back from him. Then last night, my wonderful daughter called my son to ask him about her mail. Seems her "hubby", who she so proudly liked to announce made 10$ an hour, isn't making that anymore (I found this out somewhere else) and if she gets any mail, to set it aside for her. I hate to tell her, but I'm the one who checks the mail as we have a PO box. I'm sending it back, because everyone said that I couldn't be trusted with anyone's mail, even though I have never messed with their mail in my life. And then this morning, my son told me my father called my daughter, to hear her side of things, so I imagine she lied her butt off and told him how horrible I was to her. Maybe that's why I haven't gotten any answer. She's just not going to be happy until she cuts off every bit of family support I have. All this because a couple of days ago I let her know what my light bill for this month was, and told her she ought to contribute toward it, since she contributed toward running it up. Her reply was more or less, "Too bad, it's your problem," which was what I expected. This from a girl who is collecting over 200$ a month in illegal food stamps, when they are both capable of working, while my son and I get 98$, and skipped out on paying her probation because her PO fixed it for her. It makes me so angry. I know that I was unmedicated while she was growing up, but I didn't know what was wrong with me at the time, and I did the best I could. And now here this child is, determined to destroy my life. I don't know if she realizes by hurting me, in turn she hurts her brother, or if she even cares, but I've about had enough. I can only take so much before I start to fight back, child or no.

i'm sorry this is happening to you.

something always has to come in to people's lives to spoil it *sighs*

[nannywoofwoof]

Debi so sorry things are getting difficult again. Kids can be so hard to deal with, but you are doing well. You must put yourself first. If it helps you to know, I can tell you that last month I gave my 25 year old daughter my whole months wages plus some of my savings to pay of her debts, and then yesterday she told me she was overdrawn again at her bank. You just cant help some people. I wouldn't mind but she earns the same as me and also her partner is on good money. They are both, however, crap at taking care of their finances, and constantly overspend. I am not giving her any more this month. I have 3 other children, 2 of which still live at home, and one of them is still at school. She needs to be more responsible and i have to learn to say no to her. It is difficult I know, as my guilt over-rides all common sense where she is concerned. Take care now. nannywoofwoof

[Cocosurviving]

Originally Posted by nannywoofwoof

Debi so sorry things are getting difficult again. Kids can be so hard to deal with, but you are doing well. You must put yourself first. If it helps you to know, I can tell you that last month I gave my 25 year old daughter my whole months wages plus some of my savings to pay of her debts, and then yesterday she told me she was overdrawn again at her bank. You just cant help some people. I wouldn't mind but she earns the same as me and also her partner is on good money. They are both, however, crap at taking care of their finances, and constantly overspend. I am not giving her any more this month. I have 3 other children, 2 of which still live at home, and one of them is still at school. She needs to be more responsible and i have to learn to say no to her. It is difficult I know, as my guilt over-rides all common sense where she is concerned. Take care now. nannywoofwoof

I agree so people just can't be helped. It's good to help your adult kids from time to time but u have to have a limit. Plus it's best to help people that are honestly trying to do better. It sounds like ur daughter and her husband are not putting in any work toward fixing their situation. Make sure u always remember that ur well being comes first. IDK if ur religious or spiritual but prayer really helps me.