[nikkie2002]

Hi everyone, I really need advice. I have been struggling with some type of mental illness for years now and I just want to know what is wrong with me. I have symptoms of different illnesses and I am scared because the medication I have tryed doesn't help.
I have always had depression come and go for no reason. I just slowly start to hate myself until I can't stand it. I hate everything about myself inside and out at times. when i feel this way I am very hard on myself. I feel guilty for people having me around because i feel like everyone else should hate me too. I hate the way i look whrn I'm down to I feel like i am balding and cut my hair constantly when I feel like that. I don't know why my family hides the scissors and i get so mad because of that. I feel very fat and watch what I eat when I'm down. I weigh 100 pounds . It hurts so bad I can't stand it. then I start to feel better and I don't hate myself. I don't obsess about my appearance. I feel too good to. I am just happy as can be. It feels so good. I comment to strangers all day long about anything. I talk on the phone all day long. I shop alot. Dance sing because yhere are always songs running through my head. And lots of other things. I go 100 miles anhour . I still slerp but not well i wake up every hour and get up around4 or5 because I can't lay there anymore. I smoke alot of weed then too and when high I feel that people who are dead are trying to contact me or people are bugging my house. There are times when all i want is sex and i do much more things sexually then too. There are also times that I the same energy but it is all negative. yhis is the hardest. I can't control myself then. I am full of rage an lash out at people. I want to hurt them anyway I can. I do unrational things then. If i can't hurt the people

[BuggsBunny]

Hi Nikkie, first, here's a hug, so you know you are not alone.
A lot of us on this section of the forum have many of the same problems you are living with. The depressions and the highs, I mean. It sounds to me like you are in the right section to post. Hang around here for awhile and you will get some good information. But also, talk to your doc,(or who ever is giving you the medications you've tried) and ask him/her if they've ever considered you might be bipolar. Then tell them the same symptoms you told us. That should help you get some answers.

Meanwhile, know that all you have to do is log in here, and you will find yourself no longer suffering alone.

[mentalcanyons]

This site is a good way to connect with others who have a mental illness. I do agree with BuggsBunny that you share your feelings/symptoms with the physician who prescribed the medications. Try to discuss the efficacy of the meds you're taking with the doctor. If the physician isn't a psychiatrist, perhaps you could be referred to one.

I hope you get the help you need.

[hamster-bamster]

Do you have anorexia? If you weigh 100 lbs and feel fat, that is anorexia and there is a forum (albeit, with low traffic) for it. You need treatment - anorexia can be deadly.

[nikkie2002]

Thankyou every one for the sweet encouraging words. I was dx with bipor1 yesterday. So I am starting different meds today.