[liviacat]

I've gotten advice from fellow BPs that I should go to the hospital and I'm scared and anxious. Haven't slept more than 3 hours in 41 days now, manic, distracted, irritable, trying to hang on to my job and overall just a stressed out mess. I see my doc on Wednesday, should I wait and see what he says then, or call now? I don't know what to do...

No alcohol, no rec drugs, been sober 2.5 years. Take Abilify, Celexa, Topimax, Restoril and Xanax (still no real sleep) - any advice is appreciated and I thank those that have replied to my last post. What would you do?

[moodiegirl]

I would call now. 41 days is a really long time without sleep, and I know how you feel. When I was manic, I couldn't sleep for two months or more, and I had noone to tell me what was wrong with me, it was really ugly. Knowing when, and whom to ask for help is a big step towards feeling better. I wish you all the best!
Oh and, maybe ask your doctor about Zyprexa? It really helped me back then when I was manic. I was able to sleep just two days after I started taking it.

[Livebythesea]

My heart is breaking for you and I'm sending you big hugs. I recall my mother calling me every day during my first depression to ask how much I slept the night before..for a few weeks it was two hours and then I just didn't sleep and wasn't sure if I did or not...it was awful. I quit my job over the phone as an office manager because I was so out of it from lack of sleep. How you are able to function at work-oh wow...you're better than I was. I would try to get time off from work so you can go to the hospital...I had nothing to return to do I think that made it a little harder when out. Many hugs to you.

[Anika.]

I would go honestly, and that is coming from someone who isn't very pro med. There comes a point tho where intervention is needed.

I am not sure if you know what comes with sleep deprivation, but I'll fill you in a little. ...

The central nervous system become extra active, which in turn restrains the pancreas from generating sufficient amount of insulin.

Weakening of the immune system, sleep deprivation negatively influences the produkction of white blood cells in the body.

Toughening of arteries. Increased heart rate, and blood pressure.

Sleep deprivation can have significant and important effects on the secretion of hormones from endocrine glands.

Can effect your Thyroid function.

In extreme cases can lead to death.

OK, sorry no it's not a lecture, but pointing out that it's extremely important, then there are the mental effects.. psychosis, irritability, depression and mania, anger or hostility... poor concentration, memory, reaction time etc. Basically everything you said you are feeling + some. And these go for people who have no mental illness, so we can image that those with mental illness will probably feel these effects even more.

I really think if you have tried this long and it is not improving then it is time to go and get some help. I have been in the hospital when manic, and had psychosis for extreme sleep deprivation. I ended up fainting three times in the hallway, but they did manage to get me to sleep, and once the sleep started to happen then the rest started to fall back into place as well. So try not to be scared, I think their main focus will be getting you to sleep as well. And just helping you get regulated again and on track .

We get these things called micro sleeps that we don't have awareness of for the most part. But your brain will and does go into sleep mode for about 30 seconds to a minute at a time even tho you appear awake. Obviously a survival thing because it needs the real thing so badly.

[Seaswept]

Wow. A person with 0 sleep for just 3 days can flipped into a psychotic state.

I'd call and go now. Sounds like you need your medications strightend out. You will be able to get some sleep in the hospital, they make sure of it. It is not so bad, being in the hospital and will be worth it in the long run.

[Clinte89]

I agree with everyone here you need some help and you need it now! The hospital is not so bad and they will be able to treat you faster than outpatient. You can get a not from your doc thy can't fire you for getting hell at least where I'm at they can't. It's more important to take care of yourself so please do that.

[Cocosurviving]

Originally Posted by Seaswept

Wow. A person with 0 sleep for just 3 days can flipped into a psychotic state.

I'd call and go now. Sounds like you need your medications strightend out. You will be able to get some sleep in the hospital, they make sure of it. It is not so bad, being in the hospital and will be worth it in the long run.

I agree with Seaswept. I've remember being manic & out of control. I had a few years of sleep though. If u don't want to go to the hospital----I'm not sure if ur city offers respite. It's three days and not consider inpatient. Good luck and I'll be praying for you.

[liviacat]

Thanks to all for your input and help - it means a great deal to me, you've no idea!! I put a call into my pdoc and I'm waiting to hear back. I'm sure the hospital isn't so bad or anything, I'm just scared anyway - fear of what I don't know... I know I'm manic, but I'm not bat-***** crazy (yet) either... I'm willing to go thanks mostly to you guys - will keep you posted

[Anika.]

It's ok.. I wasn't bat **** crazy either. Just a bit , I am pretty mellow most of them time to the outward eye.

I am glad you made the call. Might not even go inpatient but will get this issue addressed better I think, if your pdoc knows that it is so pressing.

Yes keep us posted, I hope that you get what you need.

[irishgirliexo]

I hope you find relief from either hospitalization or from your doctor. 41 days is a long way to go. good luck!

[liviacat]

Doc called back - and I'm very frustrated. He wants me to keep my Wednesday appointment (as if I wouldn't, really...of course I will!!) and we'll "discuss" from there. That's it. Wait. Wait some more.

My boyfriend is livid telling me to find another doctor, go to the hospital any way, and so on and so forth... He's trying to be helpful, of course. I don't know what to do. I've made it this far, what's two more days? But I know this isn't right either.

Thanks for letting me vent and sending good thoughts my way - I need it!

[~Christina]

Wow so sorry you are dealing with all this and the pdoc says " see you Wednesday"
You probably should find a new doctor. Its does usually take time to get an appointment with a new one.

As Anika said, lack of sleep can, does and will put your short term and long term health at a big risk. I battle with Insomnia a lot and I blacked out from lack of sleep one day while driving to see my T ... I was lucky I didn't hurt anyone.

Maybe you need a sleeping medication for a short while? No one likes to be in the hospital but, there are times when its really the best thing to do.

Stay safe ! I really hope you get some relief very soon

[liviacat]

That is very scary! To blackout while driving - my goodness! I'm thankful for you that nothing serious happened as a result of that!

I am on Restoril and Xanax for sleep, but apparently they've both stopped working for me. I got less than 2.5 hours tonight - I'm up and racing right now. How in the world I'm still functioning, ill never know. That's mostly why I was willing to go to the hospital - you guys and your support and the fact that I must get some kind of real rest soon before something awful does happen. I'm still so frustrated! Ugh.

[~Christina]

Yeah sounds like you need new meds.

Stay safe!

[liviacat]

Having a rough time today holding it together. I'm at work, completely distracted and feeling very detached. Very alone. I really just want to go home and hole up till I go see the doc tomorrow, but that's not very realistic, is it? Got less than an hour last night...ugh.

[liviacat]

Was "talked to" yesterday about my job performance, it was worse than I had thought... Not that I had made irreversible mistakes, but still, didn't make me look good in any light. I really want to keep my job (especially considering what the job market is currently) and I like my job. Seeing the doc today, please wish me luck - this has gone on for far too long. I'm surprised I'm not a blubbering mess - guess I'm a bit numb.

I'm willing to do my part: whatever it takes. I'm no longer afraid of the hospital, new meds, or what the next steps might be. Anything has to be better for me than this epic lack of sleeping. I agree with all the advice you guys have given me, I do think once the sleep is addressed, the rest will fall into a better rhythm. Thanks again to everyone - I appreciate you!

[Victoria'smom]

Good luck.

[liviacat]

So I just got back - no hospital yet, I'm still "too functional" - which is a good thing (I think)... Doc is increasing my Abilify and the Topimax both to try and even me out. So it will probably be a few days before that much-needed sleep comes, but I hope it's coming! Thanks for all the good thoughts - it helps!

[~Christina]

Hope the med changes help! Sorry about the work issues. Hurry up and get some much needed sleep

[sugahorse1]

Trust your own instinct -if the med change doesn't help, go to the hospital

[hamster-bamster]

So you clearly are not getting relief from Restoril and you need a different sleep medicine that would work, maybe a low dose of Seroquel would help, or look in my signature for what I take.

I think once your sleep is fixed you will resume normal functioning.

Wow, I know how much the sleep deprivation sucks... I turn into a total mess after only a few days of bad sleep!! My fingers are crossed that this pdoc actually knows what he's doing & that these meds work for you. It'd really be a shame if your job is on the line because he's not doing his job. Keep up the good work & staying functional!

[liviacat]

Well, not quality sleep, but I did manage to stay in bed mostly asleep for almost 5 hours - I'm thinking that's an improvement so far! Don't have to work today, thank goodness, I need the break right now. If it weren't for my latest round of shopping binges that have left me pretty strapped - I'd have the best jump on Black Friday sales ever LOL Thanks to everyone for the suggestions and the advice - will keep you posted

[liviacat]

I think that 5 hours was a fluke. I'm back at square one - cant even nap. Left another message for the doctor and to say I'm frustrated is an understatement of vast proportions. Ugh.

[canacrip]

Sometimes our meds don't work the way they should any longer and an adjustment is necessary when we find ourselves in crisis. You sound like you're in crisis. Get help now. Hospitalization is scary, but it really does help. They will be able to help you get the rest, nutrition and care you need while your world slows back down. Get help before mania becomes depression. Besides, there is actually more to fear from out of control mania and extreme lack of sleep than the hospital. Think about it. I will keep you in my prayers.