[Confusedinomicon]

Sick

and hungry

[avlady]

figuring it all out

[hamster-bamster]

Enjoying the sun in Northern California.

[gary290]

Originally Posted by landskaperdan

trying to find music I like. not much luck lately.

Spotify.com has everything and it's free.

spent the evening curled up in bed watching old episodes of the famous 5

omg used to love watching that back in the 90's..

[Cocosurviving]

My day was not so good. I had a lab appt this morning to check my lithium level and briefly saw my pdoc. That all went fine. The horror began when I went for a psychological test. I had an appt with vocational rehab and my hell began. I was asked so many questions that were triggers for me. I had to rehash how I got diagnosed, how I was doing right now and how I feel. I broke down crying in front of the examiner. She had to go get kleenex for me. I had to take a restroom break to calm down. I pulled myself together and started on the academic part of the test (finally). Then the examiner had me answer 30 questions asking about me feeling on different things. The last sheet took the cake I was crying so bad. I finished the sheet. I went to my car and cried more. Thank God (I really did), I had a support group meeting scheduled. I went to the support group early. I was still crying when I got there. I probably cried for another 20 minutes explaining what all happened to me.

I HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE,HATE, HATE
WINTER! I was stable and begining to think I would be ok. Now I just can't wait for winter to end.....wish it would end tomorrow. To make matters worse its raining where I am and there is not a lick of sunshine. I hate winter and REALLY miss spring/summer....sunny days. I know the serenity prayer and I plan on taking this one day at a time. Today was just really hard for me. Today reminded me that I'm ready to move back to my home state. My pdoc has upped my lithium but it is being done gratually and will take a few weeks probably for me to notice a difference.

I just needed to vent. I really hate being emotional out in public. I really get embarrassed when it happens. I'm glad to have this site. I feel like people here listen (read.LOL) and really care.

[roads]

You're battling so hard! I'm sorry, Cocosurviving, I have friends who fight S.A.D. every winter--and it's horrible. Waiting for meds to kick in is awful, but with the added weight of SAD depression it's too much to ask. Some areas have support groups ... please ask.

And come on here and:rant:away if that helps the teeniest bit! I lived so many years in the desert southwest that I like rainy days, but Florida's in a drought. If we could only shift weather around according to our needs ... so many problems solved!

A few more days and the lithium will start helping, a few months and you'll have lots of sunshines again, Cocosurviving.

Roadie

[Seaswept]

I am feeling slightly wired atm from some vicoden and nicotine and had some anxiety earlier which is why i bought the nicotine. Bad choice, oh well.

[LadyShadow]

I haven't noticed symptoms because so much crazy shyt is going on. My problems seem so insignificant compared to what I am going though now. Not sure how I feel. Just surviving and taking my meds.

[roads]

You're possibly in some degree of shock right now. It would be a good idea to check in with your medical doc, if you could. Please be sure you're staying hydrated ... would be good to eat well, but that's asking too much I know. Liquids, though, are really important. Please take care of you. Your grandmother needs you more than ever--you know that.

[hamster-bamster]

I am not being productive, but tomorrow will be another day, right?

[wildchild r]

life sux today,but
im still here..miss my daddy, my Jiji,sex,my music, heck, I miss my life..so there ya go..today sux!

not really been doing much today

parents are in scotland for the weekend, so it's just me and my brother here.

really worried about clair banning us from that site to be honest

[roads]

Who is Clair and banning you from what site?

[bpinOk]

HYPER today

[Clinte89]

Tired which seems to be my normal situation since getting on medication ugh wish I had some energy. Frustrated and a little down. Sadface

[gary290]

I went to work today. It was very busy. I felt anxious and alone. I feel a lot of pressure at work. Sometimes it's pretty cool but other days it sucks. Today was a sucky day.

Using meditation and music therapy to better deal with the stress. It is helping. I'm seeing improvement.

Mania is gone and the depression is setting in over the past few days. Having si today but just briefly. Using ret to help reframe things.

Glad it's the weekend. Going to watch some movies.

Hope everyone has a good night.

[roads]

Not much to cheer about ... huh, guys? Perpetual exhaustion, mood cycles. All three of us are in Florida, too--where we've had fairly spectacular weather. That's something, at least.

Good grief, I deep-down-truly despise what bipolar and depression do to people. Complete hell and no hope of real escape. I have physical therapy now for a rotator cuff tear, and increasingly it's seeming like too much--everything, end to end, too much.

Silly, of course. So many have more. But it's every day, ya know?
Bette Davis, my mentor now.
"Getting old ain't for sissies."
Always figured at some point I'd start days deciding whether to live or die, but instead it's come to this:
"Good morning, cats. Shall I be brave today, or a sissy?"

[Gretchen]

therapy today so I'll be a wreck for the next two days

[thenewrainbowbrite]

I guess I'm blessed, because today I'm feeling closer to my boyfriend for the first time since I left and came back from my inpatient visit.
I've been following a pretty strict schedule since I've been out of Brookhaven, and it seems to be working. Whether the three daily meals, one snack, or the sleeping more, or the regular med skills, I'm not sure, but something about it is working. I'm super glad that for the most part, it keeps me busy and I don't have a lot of time to sit a stew in my messed up brain.
I quit taking the Effexor right before I had one of the biggest breakdowns I've had in years. I had what they call "brain zaps", which is essentially the (correct me if I'm wrong!) neurons firing in a weird way, and for a fraction of a second I experience an odd twitching movement. Well, I thought it was the Effexor, but I've had 7 in total just this evening alone, and by now the Effexor is DEFINITELY out of my system. Any ideas what it might be? Do you think it is neurological or mental?
I cooked a real meal tonight, and not only that, but it was freakin' good!

[dmarie93]

I'm new but I'm here, really interested to see how well this goes. Once I figure it all out should be om...just want some people to talk to that might help me understand myself and this problem, and if I can help any of you, that's an added bonus

[hamster-bamster]

Long posts here . Finally posted what has been steaming in my head for weeks. All about my bff's amazing 79-year-old MIL and everything else, too. I will pay the price tomorrow - will need to do work, but it is ok as I will finally have a clear head. Thanks for reading!

[gary290]

Originally Posted by dmarie93

I'm new but I'm here, really interested to see how well this goes. Once I figure it all out should be om...just want some people to talk to that might help me understand myself and this problem, and if I can help any of you, that's an added bonus

Welcome to the forum and the thread. I find it helpful to write daily here. Solid support from folks like Roadie and others. I wish you well.

I was (what I think was) verbally attacked by another person yesterday. It was an unsolicited condemnation of a view that I hold. The person was condescending implying I was ignorant about a topic I am quite familiar with. So I became defensive, angry, and unsettled. I work hard at not letting the small stuff get to me. I feel frustrated when I do let it bother me. I have to realize that others have a right to their opinions and may not have the best social etiquette in their deliverance. Further more I met the person in a mental health support group so they may be dealing with their own stuff (personality wise). I just wanted to put it out there and release it. Any thought?

[roads]

we're all at different places when we pass here. I think it's very good to talk things over if divide is bothersome

[Moreta]

I'm tired today. My back dr upped my Gralise (extended release gabapentin) to 1800 mg. I really try not to sleep during the day, b/c then I can't sleep at night.

The house smells good. I'm testing out my new slow cooker. I've never used one before, so hopefully everything turns out ok.