[wing]

I've got both and between the two of them I am fighting the urge to isolate big-time. To make it worse, I just moved from a place I lived for 21 years. The few friends I have from there are not bipolar and gloss over that part of me and overlook my social awkwardness. I think they keep in touch (very rarely) because they feel sorry for me.

How does one get over the shame of what I did when bipolar and fill in the blanks when you're getting to know someone? I lost 10 years of my life trying to get control of BP. I never know what to say when people inevitably bring up those years and ask what I was up to. So I flip out inside and my social anxiety takes over. I feel like my entire life is a big fake because I can't disclose to new people for fear of running them off.

I've tried support groups. Everyone's problems are huge and mine seems not worth talking about.

Point being, I'm lonely and feel like giving up on ever having friends.

[BlueInanna]

I don't know what to say so I will offer a hug. Remember that even if there are people "out there" who don't understand, there are people here who do. Eventually we will find some good real life friends. And they may last, they may not, but then if they don't last we will find another. Patience, send a thought out to the universe, I am ready for my friend now. There are friends out there looking for you too, it's just a matter of a small miracle to connect together.

[BlackPup]

moving to a new place is always difficult. It takes at least a year to settle in and make new contacts. When I moved I told new acquaintances about my bipolar if it came up because I'd rather get a negative response early in the relationship rather than later. Mostly I get good responses.
It's way too easy to isolate yourself but its best to make new friends and get involved in things.

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

I don't know what to say so I will offer a hug. Remember that even if there are people "out there" who don't understand, there are people here who do. Eventually we will find some good real life friends. And they may last, they may not, but then if they don't last we will find another. Patience, send a thought out to the universe, I am ready for my friend now. There are friends out there looking for you too, it's just a matter of a small miracle to connect together.

i really hope so.

i don't really have any real friends either and that really is a nice thought

[wing]

You're right, BP. I'll be patient and try to wait a bit longer. I've been thinking about what you said regarding disclosure and I'm going to consider doing what you do. MI is so prevalent, there must be some people out there touched by it somehow. Perhaps sharing my diagnosis will be encouraging to some. What a conversation starter...

BlueInanna, your thought is encouraging. I do believe that things come our way when we are ready for them. Perhaps being ready for friends means being ready to disclose.
My honesty may open me to others' acceptance.

shattered sanity, I'm glad you got some encouragement, too!

[BlueInanna]

That does make sense, Pup, to go ahead and tell them to see their attitude about it. Could help avoid future hurt and disappointment.

I've only had this dx about 2 years, and I'm almost 40. So maybe I'm used to being this way. I don't tell people right off the bat about my dx if I'm hoping to have a friendship, because I'm checking them out and being somewhat cautious to decide if I want them as a friend.

My reason to wait to tell is that there is much more to me than the bp, and pdoc tells me that too. I've had some lady friends try to jump into trying to be best friends and that freaks me out. Maybe I do need to open up more, maybe being cautious is ok too. I've got food for thought here.

[Creative1onder]

I may have social anxiety as well as bipolar too so I go to both social anxiety and bipolar support groups now and again. But i also know how my moods can be considerably from really depressive and anxious avoiding or struggling to communicate with others being irritable, having angry outbursts to much calmer, more confident interactive, optimistic and energetic, and ambitious. at times i feel on top of the world i feel i can make a real difference to the world with special qualities. but a lot of the time i feel im battling alone im in a dark scarey isolating place.

[BlackPup]

How are you going at the moment, wingin it? Hope you are ok. Keep in contact with us while you establish relationships in your new town.