I can't tell if I'm happy, depressed or severely anxious!

And it's pissing me off! Oh did I mention paranoid?

I spent the last month and a half at some damned low level of depression, well that's nice. I cope and then my brain decides nope, you can be wake up and be all over the place. This morning I say to my husband what's going on all miserable like well maybe cause I feel amped up like too and spend about 30 minutes laughing hysterical like over how he broke the coffee maker so, I say to myself calm down and I fall asleep for the rest of the morning and afternoon.

I was okay suppose now I'm wide awake and not sure of I want to dance and sing or bang my head with a hammer til I pass out! I wouldn't really do that of course but, f my brain.

Am I happy, sad or just anxious!!!!!!!!!!

Know what feeling I'm talking about?

My husband has bipolar too and says I'm mixed but those terms mean nothing to me, says he relates in those terms. But the ****ing jargon is my life!

The reason he's saying your mixed is because you seem to be happy, sad, and anxious all at the same time. You're having depression symptoms and manic symptoms mixed together in one big jumbled mess.

Hard to deal with, but not uncommon.

Yea, I know what it means intellectually but when it comes to expressing my experience these words have no meaning. You know?

Yup. I didnt even know any of these terms existed before I came here. Doc just said I had bipolar disorder and rx'd some meds to try to balance my mood.

I like terms like "bat-**** crazy" or "down-in-the-dumps" better