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  #1  
Old Jan 19, 2013, 04:58 PM
OutlawedSpirit's Avatar
OutlawedSpirit OutlawedSpirit is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: Among the corn in Illinois
Posts: 595
Things just keep spiraling downward

Death swirls around me

My job just slipped out of my grasp

Can't afford what it costs to live

More worried about my head than

A place to lay it

Finally caught up to me

The system shut the door

Someone screwed me over

Nothing I can really do

Should have ignored the thoughts

Should have keep my sickness hidden

Don't know how to face tomorrow

Don't know how to hold my head up

Don't know what to do now

Don't know how bad I really screwed up
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"Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten" - G.K. Chesterton
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I am currently Med Free

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  #2  
Old Jan 19, 2013, 05:01 PM
shlump shlump is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2012
Posts: 585
This sounds like fear and catastrophisizing to me, but I don't really know you. I hope that is what it turns out to be and that you find yourself in a better place soon.

  #3  
Old Jan 19, 2013, 05:30 PM
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OutlawedSpirit OutlawedSpirit is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: Among the corn in Illinois
Posts: 595
Quote:
Originally Posted by shlump View Post
This sounds like fear and catastrophisizing to me, but I don't really know you. I hope that is what it turns out to be and that you find yourself in a better place soon.

Really? Let's see, In the past two weeks, I've had an aunt and uncle both pass away. My short term disability provider made sure they waited long enough to say my claim was denied to make me lose my job. We have a daughter we have to care for, and can't afford to do it on just one income. On top of that, since I'm technically fired, I can't even collect unemployment, at least not until I go to court to fight my termination on the grounds of breaking the covenant of good faith, if I can win it. That's only if we can figure out how to pay the lawyer to take it to court. Am I really catastrophising?
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"Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten" - G.K. Chesterton
Dx-
Bipolar Disorder I
PTSD
OCD

Meds-
I am currently Med Free

Hugs from:
shlump
Thanks for this!
shlump
  #4  
Old Jan 19, 2013, 05:44 PM
shlump shlump is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2012
Posts: 585
I am so sorry for what you are going through and to have made the comment that I'm sure felt like a slap, no a punch, on the face.

I did not take the time to look into your story.

I will. I apologize.

If you find you need someon to talk to about this. I am here.

I don't always understand and I can't always relate, but I can listen and I do care.

I hope that things will look up for you, though I do understand that much of this is out of your control.

Best wishes and love to you.
  #5  
Old Jan 19, 2013, 05:46 PM
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OutlawedSpirit OutlawedSpirit is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: Among the corn in Illinois
Posts: 595
Sorry I sort of snapped there, but it's been a bad year so far. Generally on the boards, I'm used to it being that everyone supports each other and doesn't try to downplay anything others are going through, so it was sort of a shock to me.
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"Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten" - G.K. Chesterton
Dx-
Bipolar Disorder I
PTSD
OCD

Meds-
I am currently Med Free

  #6  
Old Jan 19, 2013, 08:03 PM
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usbusi usbusi is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2012
Location: Southern California
Posts: 87
Hang in there Outlawed.

4 years ago I lost a job when the company was sold after I worked there 3 months. I knew the owner. I had to move from my home in a ski resort town as my income was going down from my business, and we rented it out. But when I lost the job, I eventually lost the house, lost my mind as I had a manic episode that hosptilalized me over the holidays, my wife then decided to not pick me up from the hospital so I lost my wife, and could only see my kids on weekends as I had to live an hour away.

I did get another job a few months after the separation. And my kids and I have adjusted to being together just on weekends. So to make a long story short, I hope things improve for you as well in time. I hope there is eventually light at the end of the tunnel for you as well.
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12 years w/Bipolar I
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  #7  
Old Jan 19, 2013, 08:24 PM
~Christina's Avatar
~Christina ~Christina is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
I am so sorry seems like the **** hit the fan all the way around. I'm in a bit of mess myself at the moment. Just know I am here and sending good thoughts your way
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
  #8  
Old Jan 20, 2013, 12:46 PM
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Darth Bane Darth Bane is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2013
Location: In the galaxy far far away !!!
Posts: 380
time is the only remedy in such cases ...

as usbusi said "Hang in there Outlawed"

its been year since i am telling myself this everyday and whenever i am stressed "all you can do is try your best"

just keep on trying .....
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I am lost in my own mind !

Hypo-mania and Depression are alike a Knife of Dreams !

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I'm not feeling well ... I got pain !!! Effie, We all got pain !!!!!
  #9  
Old Jan 20, 2013, 12:50 PM
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Clinte89 Clinte89 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2012
Location: Pensacola, Fl USA
Posts: 2,275
Sorry your having a rough go of it now but maybe in the future it will get better actually I know it will get better for you. I hope you see that sooner than later.
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