[cutenotcrazy]

Ok, so I'm bored out of my mind. I always feel so damn lonely. I'm cranky all the time. Ahhh. But most of all my husband bugs the crap out of me. Its all about him. Do what he wants, take care of him. It gets old. I want attention. Im totally in one of those moods right now. Sometimes it feels like he doesnt accept who I am. Like he pretends Im not bipolar. I'll be in a total "mood" and I'll tell him and yet he still yells at me and asks me what the hell is wrong with me? Uhh, duh. I think we already know. Sometimes I just want to be alone. I have such a hard time with him. Even my therapist asked if I thought my life might be a lot easier if I wasn't married to him. I don't think she likes him. I dont blame her. He's screwed up pretty bad in the past. He's doing WAY better, but sometimes its really hard. I just dont know what to do sometimes. He doesn't get me and I don't get him. Sometimes I just wonder why he just sat there while I mentally fell apart. For four years, I was just gone. I got worse and worse and he just sat there and did nothing and at times made it way worse. I just wish I could just forget most of the past four years and start over. Man Im in a bad mood. Does anybody else have days like this?

[fluffycat]

Hi Cute, yes I do, I know where you are coming from totally. I get irritable at the slightest thing, only been diagnosed for 7 weeks and feel angry and confused right now. I kind of feel raw like no one understands me, although my husband has been very supportive he has has to go abroad alot since my diagnosis (very pressured workload) and that has left me even more lonely. Its this feeling of being alone that is scarey, my 12 yr old daughter has picked up on all of this and am snapping at her constantly. She knows about the diagnosis and explained in simple terms, but she is feeling that life is unfair right now too. I feel I have lost control over my family as a mother and wife. I love my husband so much and I know he loves me deeply but I just can't get a handle on how I feel. I hope this reply sees you a little better right now. my best wishes and take care

[cutenotcrazy]

Things have gotten a little better. My husband is still a bum, but my best friend (who until recently had been acting distant since this all begin) and I had it out and made up so now things are normal between us. I think that was what was bothering me the most. He was always there for me. Always took care of me when bad stuff happened. I talked to him about everything. And then all of a sudden, not being able to talk to him, I just felt soooooo Alone. So, I doing a lot better. Then Ive been in therapy a few times and my therapist is AMAZING. So, yea, I have my days, but mostly not as bad as that day. Its hard with the kids huh? I have two toddlers. Sometimes I cry a lot or shut down and they dont understand so I cant just take a break or nap then I end up snipping at everyone all day. Its gotten a lot better though. You learn how to deal with it. Well, hope things are going well for you. Thanks for the response.