[korafrancesca]

I wanted to ask this question because I don't know anyone else who is bipolar in real life. I know that there are varying degrees of the illness and how it affects different people differently. What is your illness like? How often and how seriously does it manifest?

For me, before I had the right diagnosis, I would have a serious episode every two years or so. If I went off medication, I would have an episode every two years with no symptoms in between. So far with medication there have been no symptoms and it's been about a year since I started taking moderate doses of lithium and small doses of zyprexa.

What about you?

[BipolaRNurse]

I'm a rapid cycler. I have major mood episodes twice a year that I can virtually count on; they coincide with the change of seasons. I also experience many less severe swings that occur randomly and don't always have a precipitating cause. Then there are periods of relative stability like the one I'm in right now, which last for variable amounts of time (this one has gone on for over four weeks, yay me!) but rarely for more than a few months.

I'd say that my manic to depressive episode ratio is roughly 1:3, although last summer I was either manic, hypomanic, or bordering on mania for the entire season. Truth be known, I'd prefer to be hypomanic most if not all of the time.....I love the exuberance and the childlike joy that come with the highs!

Being stable is great, but unfortunately it comes with the absence of "WOW", and I'm addicted to the "WOW". It's what I live for, why I endure the depression in order to get to the good part again. I know that's not the way it's supposed to be, but it's sooooooo hard not to want it....

[usbusi]

In my case I've gone two years stable, but my stable always has a low level of depression I think. At the very least I have some brain fog, memory loss. I have had three manic episodes that launched right away into psychotic level, each lasting a week to two, maybe three weeks, including two that I ended up involuntarily committed to a psych hospital. I don't cycle. I did have some hypomania some years ago but not any more. I take only an anti depressant and an anti psychotic.

I would cycle every two weeks or so. sometimes it would lead to an episode, and other times it would just be cycling. I have depression followed by hypo, with the depression always lasting the longest. when I would even out, I had a week or two at the most before it started again.

attitude always went a long way with dealing with it. but in the end it always won. Even now on meds, I still cycle, just not as severe and I am able to cover it up more. I am not sure if I will ever be symptom free but at least I get some relief.

it has always been this way for me since a child. it's the normal for me, and it's hard discovering what a healthy person feels most of the time. for me, it's how life was, and is, and I never questioned it growing up.

but I don't feel sorry for myself for dealing with it growing up and through adulthood. If anything, I feel it's made me a strong and better person. there are times that it gets to me though...

some of the biggest fallout has been always feeling like I am or have done something wrong. paranoia. that and not being able to have a good time without questioning in the back of my mind if I am getting hypo again.
also the emotional turbulence. it's really bad. I don't think I will ever have control over my emotions and thought patterns. I would say I have broken thought patterns along with the out of control emotions.

maybe that's why I crave structure so much. My wife is very black and white, and that makes it easy to please her. I fall terribly in the gray areas but i can succeed in the black and white areas.

anyways, that is what it's like for me.

["Tilly may"]

Im very similar to bipolar nurse who posted earlier. I love the mania but last year i sold my house while in mania and bought another one that i ccant afford. stupid i know.
i take welbutrin, and abilify, xannax. I have anxiety every day.

[ellipsisdream]

I have not been stable for any real period of time in the last 4 years- a lot of med roulette, and everytime it seems as though I am on an even keel, I either go manic or into a depressed episode- I am a rapid cycler.
In the most recent period of time, I seem to cycle through moderate to severe depression and hypomania. On average I have 1-2 major manic episodes a year, but other than that, it tends to be hypomania for my ups. I also LOVE hypomania, because of the energy and creativity... my depression is ongoing, but I tend to sink way down a couple of times a year.
Right now I am experiencing hope of stability. My med regime seems to working for me, and for the first time in a long time, I am feeling good without being manic.

[manicminer]

I've only been hospitalized once, but looking back I cycle with the seasons. As the days start getting long and warmer, I cycle up into what hopefully does not end in a full blown manic episode. Then as the days get shorter and colding I start to cycle down into what hopefully does not end in a full blown depresssive episode. I no longer take medication, over one year med free, and the pattern has stayed the same as when I was unmedicated (pre-hospitalization), and when I was medicated (post-hospitalization).

I'm still on the up side at the moment, attempting to keep my mood high, but not too high, to avoid the devasting depression that I know might come along with the results of my pending Feb 25 preliminary hearing for the DUI charges against me. The last time I had a major depressive epsisode what last jan-feb. It got perty bad (like close to ending it all bad), so I hope I dont go to that dark place again.

Wish me luck!

[BlackPup]

I'm BP 2 so I'm mainly depressed and for long times (months) and most of the time with very little normal and even less hypomanias. On meds I've been mostly stable for 2 years.