this issue of respect has struck a chord within me. I'm realizing that in order to give the proper respect to others, one must first have that same respect for themselves!

this is a new concept to me.
but it's worth it to me as well.
to be a real man....
is to have real respect....
for oneself and others....

I always missed the part that I needed it for myself.

maybe I'm still emotional... but this is where I am at in my thinking.

and to have respect, is to also have understanding and patience.
that's who I want to be...
respectful, understanding and patient.

[ellipsisdream]

I am also learning that lesson and it is a tough one. I am still working on learning how to be respectful to my self...

[hopefulhuman]

Yea Dan I have this problem too. It's funny being a "man" and having these issues. In this society these gender roles are so confusing. But respect, I hear ya. For the longest time, I've hated myself. The person I am in the mirror is not the person I think I am. But I need to stop 'thinking' and putting to practice what is right.

Respect is hard to do when respecting oneself is harder to do than respect another.

It's a strange moral/emotional tug of war. I need to abandon the thinking 'whats in it for me' and move on to 'what can I do for you' mentality.

Here's to hope

Yes... here's to hope! *clinking our glasses together as we toast*

[Confusedinomicon]

I'm going to have my account deleted and start DBT/CBT and maybe? come back after that.

I need to work on my communication skills and to stop being so condescending and start listening. My boyfriend has been telling me this for years but there is only so much he can actually teach me. I thought I was above therapy and spend too much time being critical of others. I didn't think there was anything wrong with my communication style. I apologize to everyone here that I hurt. It wasn't my intention. I know that I wasn't being respectful or thoughtful. I honestly never intended to hurt or demean anyone here. I also understand many of you will probably dislike me/never trust me and I think your feelings are valid and that if I do ever come back I need to prove myself as a functioning member.

I'd also like to apologize to James. I know my thoughtless post was worded in an ill manner and that every post is on the board is an important one.

i felt the exact same way when I was going to delete my account. i thought that the whole group hated me after how I acted.

trust me, and please listen... this group doesn't work that way.

I know for me all I needed was someone to tell me that it was ok.

IT IS OK. WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES. you do not have to be a 'functioning' member.

half the time when I am on here, I am not functioning. that's why I am on here.

James is a good guy.... There is no way he would hold a grudge. trust me on that.

WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES, AND IF I CAN RECOVER AFTER ATTACKING SOMEONE ON THIS BOARD.... You can recover too.

IT IS OK. We have a mental illness... all of us do. We all make mistakes.

I know how much of a spin it can put on us when we think that we totally screwed up saying something.

it can really hurt and send us into a panic.

just breathe and calm down.

we all freak out sometimes. I just did, and now you are too. I totally relate and understand what you are going through, and I'm here to talk and I'm here for you.

I can't even find the post that you are so worried about!

are you willing to talk to me about it?

I see that you are not on. so when you see this.. you can email me at landskaperdan
@gmail.com if you need to vent or just want to talk and don't feel you can do it on here.

[Clinte89]

Well I have to agree totally with you dan. You cant respect anyone without respecting yourself and that is sometimes the hardest thing to do. But if we keep trying and trying and saying positive things about ourselves maybe that will change how we feel about ourselves. Cause after all its emotions that cause us to have little respect for ourselves

oh yes... emotions... out of control and devastating emotions. yeah...

[sabby]

Hey folks,

It's understandable that emotions sometimes drive our behaviors and it's awesome that ya'll want to apologize for behaving in a disrespectful way (or what you perceive to be disrespectful). Unfortunately, our guidelines don't permit us to discuss other members publicly. It's okay to apologize, but it's not okay to discuss to whom or about the issue that came about. That is something that is best discussed privately via pm to the member(s) and not publicly.

So, in moving forward, if ya'll would keep this guideline in mind, it would be greatly appreciated!

Take good care everyone!


sabby

[BlueInanna]

Confused, please don't leave. You're a good person and always reaching out trying to help others. Pm me if you want to talk. I don't want to say too much, but these things are not your fault.

Originally Posted by sabby

Hey folks,

It's understandable that emotions sometimes drive our behaviors and it's awesome that ya'll want to apologize for behaving in a disrespectful way (or what you perceive to be disrespectful). Unfortunately, our guidelines don't permit us to discuss other members publicly. It's okay to apologize, but it's not okay to discuss to whom or about the issue that came about. That is something that is best discussed privately via pm to the member(s) and not publicly.

So, in moving forward, if ya'll would keep this guideline in mind, it would be greatly appreciated!

Take good care everyone!


sabby

what about positive reinforcement of another member???

[sabby]

Good question!

Positive and supportive posting is what PC is all about, so yes, one can post something in that regard. Don't forget we have the Kudos and Affirmations forum as well when we want to recognize a member in a positive way!

Discussion of a member that goes into their personal struggles may not be particularly appropriate if posting becomes unsupportive. By that I mean if you post specific issues that the member may be dealing with or if you and that member have had a falling out would not be appropriate. Apologies or trying to work through a fall out would best be done privately via pm and not on the forums.

I hope that clears it up for you.